Do You Feel What I Feel Too?
by mysteriousbrunette
Summary: Following the lives of Lily and Kat after Skins. What if they DO feel something for each other? Runs alongside with my other fanfic "The Skins Movie" Naomily and LilyKat
1. 2 weeks after

**Emily's POV**

I haven't seen Lily since we came back from our holiday in Berlin. After Skins, our acting careers started to kick off and as a result we were both offered some really good parts in films and a few TV programmes that we really couldn't say no to. Once things had cooled down had started to cool down, we decided to book a holiday for the New Year together as we hadn't seen one another for awhile and neither of us had a proper holiday in around 3 years so it seemed like a great idea, besides we both deserved it after all of our hard work.

We decided on Berlin because Lily knew how much I loved it when I went there before with my boyfriend, but with Lily I wanted it to be even more special… I'm not sure why. I mean, yeah we were close with each other in skins and she's my best friend, but oh I don't know!

I shouldn't have let it happen. I've only just come to terms with it and I think I'm ready to tell her but I'm not ready for everyone to start judging me. I've always said that I don't like labels and that they're for cans, but not everyone thinks like that, do they? I don't think I'm ready for all of that yet.

But then I wonder why it's taken me so long. I knew how she felt about me when we were filming Skins, or least I liked to think that's how she felt, otherwise why kiss me next to the fountain in Berlin on our last night?

I was too stupid and scared though and ran back to my hotel room. I kept thinking that it was too much like Emily and Naomi, and look at what they went through. I thought that if it is real then Lily might be like her character and keep running away. But turns out it's me! I was the one who was too scared to answer her calls when she kept ringing or to even open the door when she ran back to the hotel to say sorry.

We eventually spoke, just put it down to being VERY drunk from celebrating our last night and that we were both emotional from not being able to play Emily and Naomi again. I was too scared to tell her that I actually liked her kissing me again, that I have always liked her kissing me… that I'm in love with her, yes love. And now that I think I'm finally ready to tell her, she's in fucking Jamaica with my fucking sister and Kaya and I don't know if she'll ever talk to me again, let alone want to see me…

**So what do you think? Should I continue? I have plans of something which I don't want to give away just yet as it may spoil the 'surprise' I have, but I'm not sure if anyone will even like this yet, so please review to let me know what you think.**

**Oh and for anyone who doesn't know, yes, Lily and Kat really did go away to Berlin on holiday for New Year this year and Lily did go to Jamaica with Megan and Kaya afterwards. I thought I would make a fanfic around what LilyKat do as well as add bits of Naomily.**


	2. Now or never

**Kat's POV**

Lily, Meg and Kaya are coming home today. I asked mum if I could go and pick up my sister with her, truth was I really needed to see Lily, even if it was just for 5 minutes to tell her exactly how I felt. I had been up all night thinking everything through. I hadn't slept, but at least I'm actually ready now, I've made my decision. I just have to remain in the right frame of mind so I don't freak out again. But nothing can ever go according to plan though, can it?

Meg phoned saying that their flight had been delayed and wont be home until tomorrow. I guess I'm just going to have to be patient and wait. Another day won't hurt surely?

As I was up all night thinking about what I was going to say to Lily… again, I had a bad day at work. I hardly remembered my lines so it was take after take after take of the same scenes over and over again. I'm knackered and my boyfriend was being a complete prick! Or should I say ex-boyfriend now. He was right with everything he said back to me though, and I guess, in a way, I was a bitch to him, but it was only fair to end it when I don't love him anymore.

So after a pretty shit day, I'm home… And by the looks of things, so is my troublesome twin. Her suitcase is open with clothes thrown all over the place and there's music playing very, very loudly, but no actual sign of her. Or anyone else for that matter…

"Meg? Megan!" I search downstairs but there's no sign at of her at all so I turn the stereo off and head upstairs.

"Megan, where are you?" I open her bedroom door and find her lying face down on her bed passed out from jetlag. I decide to leave her and head back downstairs, glad of the fact that I don't have to listen about her amazing time in Jamaica just yet. She did have an amazing tan though. I wonder if Lily… Oh for fucks sake. I grab my phone and decide that it's now or never.

I hover over the call button. _You can do this. Just be brave. Tell her that you just need to see her._

After 5 minutes of debating on calling her I finally dial her number. _Knock. Knock. _ "Fucking hell" I end the call quickly and make my way to the front door, cursing the person behind it for interrupting me and wanting to murder the twat.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. _Oh my God. Impatient or what! I start to get angry and actually voice out my anger and that they aren't going to live for much longer.

"For fucks sake, I'm fucking coming! Whoever it is better be fucking ready else I'm gonna fucking-" I open the door only to be faced with those familiar blue eyes. Oh.

I guess it's now or never...

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm actually still not quite sure on what to do though. The reason why I've put this one up so soon is because I have actually written 3 chapters already! I'm just not sure how to start off the 4****th**** one, which is why I'm debating on what to do.**

**Let me know if I should continue, your reviews will mean a lot, it is you that I'm writing them for after all. Oh and a quick heads up… you find out a little of what happened in Berlin and part of the surprise I have lined up (if you want me to continue that is) will be revealed at the end of the next chapter!**

**For those of you who are true Naomily fans, you will like the surprise I have in store for you…**


	3. The fountain kiss

**Kat's POV**

"Can I come in?" Lily asks after what feels like an age of staring into those beautiful eyes. _God I've missed them._ I don't know what to say, I'm actually too shocked to speak! She's here, Lily is actually here!

"Yeah, course" I finally say, clearing my throat and physically shaking my head whilst letting her in. "Come in" we make our way into the living room. "Good holiday?" _That was good, keep it calm, keep it light._

"Yeah, it was really good." She seems distracted and looking around as if looking for someone. "Is Meg around?"

"She's upstairs asleep, why?"

"Oh, she just borrowed something off of me whilst on holiday and I was wondering if I could have it back."

I pointed over to her open suitcase and the belongings thrown all over the place. "Well there's her stuff, good luck finding anything. You know Meg, drops everything at her feet." I laugh.

"Yeah" Lily smiles and laughs along. _God I've missed her. _She looks back over at the mess. "It might take me a year just to go through that lot, so when you see her just let her know that I'd like it back as soon as, ok?"

"Ok" I smile but then curiosity gets the better of me. "What is it? The thing you want back?"

"Nothing for you to worry about" she smiles sadly. I hate this, why can't we be normal again, why do I always fuck things up?

"Well I better get back" She turns to leave. I can't let her go without telling her. Just seeing her like this is hurting me and I have to stop it.

"Lily, wait!" I follow her to the door and she turns round to face me. This is my chance to finally put things right between us. It might be my only chance.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for-"

"Kathryn… don't" She looks at me as if pleading with me to stop. I know her and I know that she doesn't want to be hurt anymore, but I'm not going to hurt her.

"Lily, listen to me. I was an idiot! I shouldn't have ran away, it was stupid, I don't know why I did it, it just happened. I ran and I should have stayed, I wanted… everything just happened so fast, I… well, I… You…" Christ, why is it so hard to tell her!

"Kat-"

"No, wait!" I wish she'd stop looking at me with those big puppy dog eyes! It's really not helping. I turn away from her to give me that little bit of strength to tell her.

"When you kissed me it was…" I smile, remembering what it was like, wishing I was back in her arms, kissing her all over again.

* * *

><p><em>We stumbled out of the club, we'd been there a good few hours enjoying our final night in the city of Berlin. It had been snowing near enough every single day we had been here. We always kept ourselves wrapped up and warm but tonight we just wanted to enjoy ourselves, so when we were getting ready to go out and enjoy our night we put on our best dresses and never bothered with coats, they'd only take the effect off of our outfits.<em>

_So we came out of the hot, stuffy club into the freezing night air without anything keeping us warm, "Fuck it's freezing!"_

_Lily did nothing but laugh "Er, well, it has been snowing since God knows how long, so of course it's gonna be freezing"_

_I stood staring at her, not amused. "Will you stop laughing! I'm going to turn into a human popsicle!"_

_That only made her laugh even more. "It's not funny, Loveless" I thought she was laughing before but now she's almost on the floor in hysterics!_

"_I'm sorry" she says whilst wiping her eyes and calming down a bit. She looks over at me and realises that I'm shivering. "Shit, Kat, your shivering!" She generally seems shocked and sorry for laughing now._

"_Well done, Columbo" I say and start to walk over towards the fountain. She comes up behind me and spins me around a little._

"_Come here" I turn completely round to face her and she starts to rub her hands up and down the sides of my arms to help warm me up then pulls me in for a hug, "I'm sorry for laughing."_

"_It's ok" I say, relishing in the heat of her body and how close we are._

"_You know, I'm only sorry because I'm starting to get cold now too" she says laughing. I laugh with her._

"_I should have known."_

_We stand there looking over at the fountain and the rest of Berlin, still hugging one another for warmth._

"_I've had a great time" Lily says after awhile. "I can see why you love this place. It really is beautiful"_

_I smile, remembering everything we had done and the places we had seen. "Maybe we can come back together again one day"_

"_Yeah, I'd like that."_

_I laugh, "Next time though, let's go in the summer when it's not pissing snowing"_

"_Oh I don't know, you see if we don't come in the winter then I wont be able to hug you and keep you warm in my arms again"_

_My heart flutters and then I smile with realisation… Drunk Lily!_

"_I'll miss you when I'm in Jamaica" she says sadly_

_I nod my head, "I'll miss you too"_

"_It's not too late to come with us, you know"_

"_I can't, you know I've got to finish filming Lethal: The Movie"_

"_I know you do, it's just that I don't want this to end. I've had an amazing time with you"_

_I get butterfly's in my stomach. I'm sure she's just speaking like this because she's drunk._

"_We don't seem to spend much time together like we used to and I miss it. I miss that we won't be able to work together again either"_

_I know how she feels, I never wanted it to end either, truth was, now Lily was thrown into my life, I don't think I could ever let her go._

"_Lily?" I look up at her and realise she's crying, "Hey, it's ok" I rub a tear away "Everything will be ok, we might still be busy working on different things, but we can always meet up and go out, nothings going to change that"_

_She smiles sadly and wipes her eyes before putting her arms back round me. I really do miss this too. "Your amazing, you know that?"_

_I smile and pretend to look as if I'm remembering, "Hmm, you may have mentioned it one or two times"_

_She slaps me gently, "Oi, I'm being serious here!"_

"_I know you are. And your amazing too. No actually, your more than amazing. No, yoooour…" I try to think of something clever but sarcastic to say._

"_I'm what?" She says smiling away. I can't help but smile back and loose myself in her eyes. The City lights bounce off her face and she looks incredible. All night she had looked amazing in her little black dress and I couldn't help but not look at her. That's when I realised how close we are, still in each others' arms, smiling at one another. I'm completely lost._

"_Your gorgeous"_

_Within seconds Lily's lips crash against mine. I don't quite register what's happening until I feel her tongue run along the bottom of my lip, seeking permission to enter my mouth, and I let her._

_I've missed the taste of vanilla on her rosy red lips and the feeling of being in her arms. It's like I'm on fire, like I'm floating and I'm tingling all over. I can't get enough and neither can she as she puts her hands through my hair and moans into the kiss. I pull her unbelievably closer to me then I thought possible._

_But then we break away. I don't know who pulled away first but now I'm starring into those eyes wondering what the hell just happened and before I know it, I'm running away from her. I hear her shouting after me but I can't stop. I just need to get away and clear my head._

* * *

><p>"When you kissed me it was…" I smile, remembering exactly how it was. I turn round to face her, "Lily, when you kissed me, I never wanted it to en-"<p>

"Oh. My. God!" Megan suddenly comes running down the stairs and I am actually going to fucking murder her! Great timing as per fucking usual Sis!

"You'll never guess what?" Me and Lily turn round to face her

"WHAT?"

"My agent just phoned. We're in the Skins Movie!"

**Ta-dah. I was thinking… how about I do another fanfic which is the Skins Movie (but more Naomily based) and run this one alongside it, so you can see what LilyKat's reaction are to the scripts etc.**

**Just an idea, let me know what you think, as I'm really not sure how else to carry this on! Oh, and thank you for the reviews, i'm glad you all like it. Let me know if the above idea is a good one or not so i know how to continue and then you can have the next chapter (or two, depending). For now, see you x**


	4. Back on track

**Kat's POV**

After Megan had told us about Skins, mine and Lily's agent phoned and asked if we wanted to be a part of it. In fact, they practically begged for us as we would be the main roles in the film. We couldn't refuse the offer and we gave them the dates that we would be able to start. Luckily our filming commitments to our other roles in films were coming to an end so we wouldn't have to wait too long, so in the meantime we got our scripts and went into meetings to talk about what was going to happen in the movie and obviously about Naomily.

Lily and I hadn't brought up about the kiss and well, it was pretty hard too when there was a very excited Megan running around the place! After that day, there never really seemed to be a right time to tell her, so I just threw myself into my work instead.

So here I am, sitting at home going through the script. I never thought I would be playing Emily again, but I cannot wait and I'm sure Lily can't either, but I can't help thinking how awkward it's going to be. We've hardly spoken and we've not even gone through our lines together yet. Maybe I should give her a ring, if she's not going to pick up the phone to call then I better. Besides, after what I've just read, we need to sort something out and quick.

I phone her but she doesn't pick up, not the first time that's happened this past month. I sigh, frustrated and throw down the script.

I get up, get a drink and wonder back through to the living room, board and fed up. I see one of my sister's magazines, grab it and sit back down again, casually flicking through the pages. Then I see her and the words in big letters "_She walked into the room and I recognised her straightaway_" and "_I think she's hilarious, she's so funny"_

I read the whole interview, intrigued. That's when I got the butterfly's in my stomach again, she was talking about me!

* * *

><p><em>What was the best 3 things about being in Skins?<em>

_(Smiles) Kat, Kat and… Kat!_

_You both looked very loved up and cosy with one another onscreen, had you met before Skins?_

_I first met Kathryn two years ago, but we didn't see one another again for about a year until we met at the Skins' auditions. She walked into the room and I recognised her straightaway! It might have taken her awhile to recognise me._

* * *

><p>I smiled, I remembered her all right, I was just too nervous to go over to her. I passed the interview off though, thinking it was her trying some harmless flirting like we used to together to create attention when filming Skins. A lot of people wanted Naomily to be real… some of us more than others.<p>

Just then my phone went. 1 new message from, oh, guess who?

Can I come round? X

I sent a quick reply and threw the magazine under the table. Within a few minutes there was a knock on the door so I got up to answer it. I opened the door and see Lily standing there. What the?

"That was quick!" I say slightly confused.

She smiles. "Yeah, I was, er, already in the area and I saw your missed call so I thought I would, you know, pop round and see you."

I frown at her and she looks away, biting her lip, obviously embarrassed. "Lily, you live on the other side of London" I grin at her, enjoying seeing her like this. It's like she's just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar!

"Come on in then, but take your shoes, the last time you came, you left sand all over the place!"

She laughs and closes the door behind her. "I only went from here to where you are now. That's two steps" She takes them off anyway and follows me into the living room. I can't help but smile at her. She always manages to argue about something that she's doing anyway, without even realising it. "Besides, your house is like a zoo, you have God knows how many cats, dogs, hamsters and other furry things running around the place and yet you want _me _to take _my_ shoes off in case _I _make a mess, I mean really."

I stare at her, still smiling. "You finished now?" She looks away again, biting her lip. "Good. Now sit down… you're making the place untidy."

She looks at me shocked, then we burst out laughing at one another. We sit down opposite each other and I'm glad we're getting back to how we were before.

"So, er, I was wondering if you wanted to go over the scripts with me. Think we better start sometime soon."

"Yeah, course. Did you want a drink or something first?"

"Yeah, water would be great thanks."

"Alright, won't be a minute" I wonder into the kitchen to get her a drink, when I come back through I see she's reading already.

"Are you ok with this?" She asks, looking up at me.

"Oh, oh I've not really had… had time to read it yet" I decided to pretend that I hadn't read it. Not sure why, maybe it was because I could tell she was nervous and thought it would help her to relax a little.

She looks at me surprised, "Really?"

"Mm hm" I grab my script. "I've read a bit but not all of it" As I open it I quickly close it again. _Shit!_

"Are you ok?" She looks at me concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Riiight" She doesn't sound convinced. "Have you read the first scene?"

"I have, yes" I open the script again to the first page and clear my throat. Lily eyes me carefully.

We're quiet for a few minutes. I try clearing my mind by reading, but its only describing how Emily and Naomi are going through Bristol on a moped and I can still feel Lily's eyes on me. Then suddenly she makes me jump. "Right, come on" I stare at her, wondering what the hell she's thinking of.

"Look, we both know how awkward this is going to be, I mean, we've not kissed since…" She looks away "You know when, but we need to sort this out because otherwise we're not going to move on and the film's not going to wait until we're ready."

She's right, of course she's right, but how do we get passed this?

She looks at me and grins as if she knew what I was thinking. "We need to loosen up a bit, got any vodka?"

I can't help but smile. Lily is back on form.

We're lying on the floor in the living room, having drunk half a bottle of vodka. Lily's holding _my_ script laughing her head off.

"Your face was priceless!"

"Fuck off" I say, slightly laughing.

She mimics me. "Oh, I've not really had time to read it yet" She flicks through the pages, every line I say clearly highlighted! She stops laughing when she gets to a particular scene and looks at me. "We'll be ok, you know."

I look over at her but say nothing.

"We're going to be nervous yeah, but we've done it plenty of times before. It doesn't mean that this time is going to be any different. We just need to get that one part done with to break the ice and everything should be fine."

We go quiet. Both wrapped up in our own thoughts. I go to pick up the vodka bottle that's lying in between me and Lily, that's when I'm suddenly transported back to a scene we done in Skins.

* * *

><p>"<em>Do you think I can do it?"<em>

"_I think you can do anything"_

* * *

><p>She's right. We're going to be ok. I go to take a sip of vodka when I can't help but not say it, remembering how many takes we had to do because we couldn't stop laughing. "Oils"<p>

Lily turns to look at me, then at the vodka bottle and then our positions on the floor, even though this time we're facing one another. We burst out laughing.

I then remember reading Lily's interview in the magazine just before she came over and smiled:

"_We're like two little girls at school being naughty, we're just in hysterics ninety percent of the time. I think she's hilarious, she's so funny, and we were just laying on the floor doing this scene and she kept saying it and I just kept laughing."_

"Yep… I think we're gonna be just fine" I say as Lily is still laughing.

Filming starts soon and I'm starting to get a little excited about it now too. I look over at Lily who looks like she's back to her normal, happy self again and I can't help but grin at her. She looks at me and smiles.

"Guess I better buy some more bloody red hair dye again then, hey?"

Maybe I should take the vodka bottle away from her as she rolls around the floor in hysterics once again!

**I'm not quite happy with this one as I got stuck in a writers block but I wanted something to be a little bit more light hearted and not for Kat to sound depressing and sad again but hopefully the next chapter will make up for it!**

**Check out my other fanfiction – The Skins Movie!**


	5. Surprises

I'm standing here with my arms wrapped around lily's neck, starring into her beautiful blue eyes and she's smiling down at me. And for once, it's not a dream, it's real… or at least it's as real as it can be.

I slightly falter. It's pretty hard to concentrate when you're about to kiss the one person who has constantly been on your mind. But unfortunately I'm not alone with her and slightly snap out of it.

"Welcome home, Miss. Campbell." I say, smiling up to her.

Then I get butterflies in my stomach, as I know what's going to happen next. She smiles and leans down to kiss me. I kiss her back and it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world! I can feel myself losing control as I taste the vanilla on her lips.

"And cut!"

We pull away and look at one another. I can't speak and can hardly register the people around us, let alone what was being said.

Lily raises an eyebrow and grins, "Well, at least you didn't run away this time."

I was about to reply when someone walks up to us and coughs to get our attention, that's when I realise that I still have my arms around her neck and hers are still wrapped around my waist. We break apart from each other completely, slightly blushing.

"Ok girls, that was perfect! We're going to take a break now and then set up for the next scene. We'll call you later when we're ready for you." With that, he walks away.

We stay where we are, looking away from each other slightly nervous, not just from being to caught up in the scene just before but also because we know that we've got to film the next scene, half naked with one another!

I remember what Lily keeps telling me, that we're going to be just fine and that we just need to do this one scene together and everything will be ok again, we just need to break the ice again, that's all… Who am I kidding? She's alright saying that, isn't she? She's not the going through what I'm going through, she doesn't feel what I feel for her. Although at times, I sometimes think she does, she didn't drop her arms away from my waist when we finished filming, did she? Or maybe I'm just over analysing everything.

The only way to get through this is to put everything aside, block it out and try and get back into character, I'm Emily not Kathryn and she's Naomi not Lily. I've done this before, I CAN do it again.

* * *

><p>Lily has her head resting on my shoulder and although I can't see her face, I know she's wearing that grin that makes her look so fucking sexy. I'm starting to loose myself in my own thoughts, not good when you've got camera's and a crew watching you, but when you have Lily Loveless half naked and wrapped around you, it makes it seriously hard to concentrate, besides it's not like I have to concentrate now as I have no more lines to say. She has one more then it'll be all done, finished.<p>

Lily looks up at me, "Guess we better get the bikini unpacked then."

I've gotten lost in my own world far too quick and I'm not thinking straight. She's grinning at me sexily and she spoke with a slight husk that I've never heard her speak before. The director's going to shout cut at any second as the scene is over and I'm sure when he does it'll snap me out of my little dream world.

But before I know what I'm doing, I push Lily backwards onto the bed and pin her arms above her head. She squeals from being caught off guard and suddenly I kiss her. I smile into the kiss as she kisses me back…

I hear the director laugh. "Ok and cut! That's a wrap."

We break apart and I stare right into her eyes and she stares back. "Sorry" I smile nervously and sit away, pulling the quilt up to cover us. _Shit_. Why did I just do that?

"Kat…" she puts her hand on my arm and I close my eyes.

The director comes over, very happy and excited. "That was great! It looks fantastic on camera. You two really connected. I don't know why we never thought of that last part you just threw in there Kathryn, so well done. Tomorrow we're planning on filming the party scenes all day so we'll see you both tomorrow, bright and early. Have a good night." And with that, he's gone with the rest of the crew, leaving me alone with Lily to get dressed, but we don't move.

"That was some…" she coughs to clear her throat, "improvising." I dern't look at her, let alone move.

We're quiet for a few minutes then I hear her get off the bed and get dressed. I stay where I am, thinking how much of an idiot I am.

When Lily's fully dressed, she comes over and bends down in front of me. I'm still sitting up in bed, with my head resting on my knees and the quilt wrapped around me.

She puts her hands on the either side of me and gently smiles. "I wasn't that bad was I?" I can't help but smile at her joke, she's always the one to go to, to help make yourself feel better.

I shake my head and she smiles sadly. "Don't feel bad about it, I've done it with you plenty of times before. We'll just call it payback, yeah?"

I nod at her. "Good, now come on" She stands up. "I know what will make you feel better, but get dressed first, I don't want anyone having heart attacks from seeing you butt naked!"

I look up at her, confused. "What are we doing?"

She grabs my clothes and puts them on the bed next to me whilst smiling. "It's a surprise."

I watch her carefully, raising an eyebrow, "Lily… you hate surprises"

She starts to look excited, "Ah, but it's your surprise, not mine. Now hurry up, I aint got all day." She turns and walks away. "Meet me on Richmond Hill at 6" she shouts over her shoulder, leaving me to get dressed and even more confused then I was before.

* * *

><p>I'm walking towards Richmond Hill, still none the wiser as to what Lily is up to. I'm knackered and just want to sleep, I've been working since 5 this morning!<p>

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I'm suddenly pulled sideways and into a shop. "What the fuck?"

I spin round and see Lily smiling down at me happily and throws her arms out, "Surprise!"

I frown at her, confused. "Great…. You've brought me to a shop" I look over her shoulder, thinking that she can't be serious and there's a perfectly good explanation but nothing, we really are standing in a newsagent's.

"Why are we here?" I ask. She's lost the plot, she must have.

"To buy champagne" she says, as if it's the most normal thing in the world and smiling her head off still.

"What? Why? What for?" She turns towards the alcohol section and I follow her.

She stops and looks at the alcohol, ignoring my questions. "Lily?" I ask, raising my eyebrows at her.

She stand there looking at the selection in front of her, chewing her lip and frowning, obviously thinking why there's no champagne. We're in a newsagents, of course there's not going to be any here.

"Ah-ah!" she says suddenly, causing me to jump. She reaches out and grabs a small bottle of champers. "Come on." I sigh and give in, whatever she's up to, I'll find out in time.

She pays and we leave the shop. I turn towards Richmond Hill but she pulls me back, "Ah ah, this way" and she walks off, leaving me. I stare at the back of her. What the fuck is she up to? I catch up with her and follow anyway.

I then realise that we're heading towards a pizza place. "So what do ya fancy then? I'm paying."

I look up at her, half smiling, half frowning. "What? Why?"

"Because you need cheering up…" then she bumps her shoulder with mine and smiles "and because I want to."

I smile back at her, "Ok, but I'll get the pizza, you got the drink."

"No it's my treat, I'm getting it. I wouldn't be treating you if I let you pay for half of it."

I give in, knowing that I wouldn't be able to convince her. I smile, "Alright, go on then." She smiles whilst putting her arm around my shoulders and pulling into the shop, both of us laughing."

An hour later and we had finally got to Richmond Hill where we ate our pizza whilst sitting on a blanket that Lily had brought with her and drank champagne.

"Thank you" I say whilst putting my arms out behind me and leaning back, looking at the scenery in front of us.

She copies my actions, "You're welcome."

"It was lovely… this is lovely" I say whilst nodding to the scenery.

"Glad you like it" She turns her head to look at me, then pulls me into her while laughing.

I hug her back and laugh, "What's this for?"

She smiles, "Do I need an excuse to hug my best mate?" I shake my head. "Good."

I pull away and take a sip of the champagne and hand it to her. As she takes a sip, I lay back down but put my head in her lap and look up at her. She looks down at me and smiles. "Feeling better?"

I smile "yeah, much."

Then she looks nervous. "There's one more thing." She reaches over to get her bag and I sit back up. I watch as she brings something out in a box and i frown.

"I made this for yo… us. I thought we'd want a dessert or something after our pizza…" She brings out a heart-shaped cake!

"Aw, Lily!" I look up at her, she still looks nervous so I hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek. "It's lovely! Did you really make this?"

She smiles nervously, "Yep, last night. Do you like it? I made the icing myself too."

I can't help smiling. "Lily, I love it!"

She eventually smiles and looks pleased with herself.

We ate the cake and laid down. I have my head on her stomach and I can't help feeling happy that we can be like this with one another again. It's nice.

We lay like this for a while, both of us just enjoying one another's company and getting lost in our own thoughts. Then Lily points towards the sun, "Look at that" Her voice full of amazement.

I look and notice that it's the sun setting over London and smile. Could today get any better?

I'm still smiling when I look up at her and notice that she had been watching me, a huge grin on her face. I don't know how long we stared at each other for. "What?" I finally ask.

It seems as if it snapped her out of her daze. "Oh… you have, have, er, pizza on your face."

"What?" I sit up, rubbing my face.

She laughs, "No you idiot, come here." I turn round to face her and she gently rubs some off of my chin. "There, all gone" she says but still keeping her hand there.

I stare into her gorgeous eyes. Brown meeting piercing blue. She looks down at my lips then back into my eyes and my stomach starts doing little somersaults. This can't be happening!

"Oh my God! Lily, Kat!" I slowly turn and give the offending person a very evil look. It's a fan running over, probably to have their photo taken with us and ask for an autograph. Usually I don't mind, I actually quite like talking to our fans, but right now really wasn't a good time!

"Shit" I heard Lily say. I turn back round and see Lily standing up and tidying away the mess we created, not looking impressed. I turn back and see the guy hovering over me so I stand up.

Turns out he only wanted an autograph for his girlfriend so we gave him one and he was on his way. Mine and Lily's moment before, gone too.

Lily sighs while watching him walk away. I turn to face her, smiling sadly, "Come on, let's go."

We both turn round and walk away in the opposite direction of the man. I look up at her again and smile. "Thank you for today. I really have had a lovely time."

She looks at me and smiles the most amazing smile I've seen. "Good" She reaches her hand out and I take it, happily.

We walk away, hand in hand. Can today get anymore perfect?

* * *

><p><strong>Aw, how sweet! Shame they keep getting interrupted by everyone!<strong>

**Was going to include this interview later on with what they are thinking but I thought for now I would let you watch it. The moment I want you to see is at 1:30, (Lily talks about The Richmond Hill 'date') but I know you'll end up watching it all anyway. Go to youtube . com /watch?v=CjXTEi-PIHM**

**You should know by now anyway but if you've read this then go and read the other one too … The Skins Movie. It's what Lily and Kat were filming at the start of this fic.**

**Finally, thank you for the reviews. I love you all too! x**


	6. Getting closer

**Kat's POV**

The past week has been really depressing. Lily and I have been filming really horrible scenes together where we are basically shouting at one another and crying. Once we've finished filming as the end of each day, we just want to get home as soon as possible as we're both completely shattered.

Today though, we've been given a break from filming to give a magazine interview for Heat Magazine. At least there won't be any crying involved!

I said i'd meet her in a cafe before heading over to Heat Towers for our interview. I'm busy tucking into a salad when I feel a hand on my shoulder as Lily walks round and sits next to me, "Hey"

I look up at her, "Hey you"

Lily looks down and eyes my salad carefully. "Should have known you'd be stuffing your face!"

I nudge her whilst laughing, "Shut up you. Anyways, i've finished now." I put my fork down on my now empty plate.

She looks up at me and smiles, "Well at least you don't cry when you see me now"

I stand up and smile. "It's called acting, Loveless. Then again, I could be doing it because you're too ugly to look at" I quickly grab my bag and leave my empty plate on the table as i rush out the door, knowing she'll be right behind me.

She catches up with me on a busy central London street. "I really would wish you'd stop running away from me" She says, slightly out of breath.

I look up at her to see her grinning down at me but i look back at her, confused. "When do I run away from you?"

She pretends to be thinking, "Hm, lets see, shall we? There's you, aka Emily, running away from me, aka Naomi, when filming-"

I interrupt her, "That's fake though so that doesn't count. I actually get paid to run away from you"

She carries on as if she's not heard me. "Also, that time yesterday and just then in the cafe. Then the time in Berlin when you kissed-" She stops suddenly, realising what she's saying. I can feel myself blush and look away from her. "Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to-"

I sigh, "It's ok" I look up at her and give her a weak smile before heading towards the building we need to be in. "Come on, before we're late."

* * *

><p>We sign in at reception and head towards the lift, once inside we remain deadly quiet, both unsure on what to say. I'm relieved when we finally reach the floor we need to be on.<p>

We meet the interviewer and settle down, both of us are starting to relax a little when Lily whispers an apology in my ear. I turn to face her and smile, wanting to put the whole thing behind me again. "It's ok, honest. You can stop apologising"

She looks at me carefully and with a look i've never seen before. I frown at her but she just smiles back and nods, "Ok, good" then turns to face the woman who starts the interview. I'm slightly confused but shake my head to get rid of my thoughts and i turn to face the woman too.

* * *

><p>Half an hour into the interview and me and Lily are finally relaxed and happy again.<p>

"Kat's face when she pretended she hadn't already read the script!" Lily says whilst laughing her head off. I look away, embarrassed. "She highlighted it too so she couldn't even begin to lie about it!" I'm about to try and defend myself when she carries on talking again. "It's not the first time neither. She tried to pretend that she hadn't read the part where we had our first ever sex scene. Her face was priceless!" She carries on laughing.

I quickly try to finally defend myself. "I hadn't seen her in three years and then suddenly we're kissing in a forest... in our underwear"

Lily looks at me whilst trying to calm down. I look away again, blushing but before she has a chance to reply, I interrupt her, "Next question, and quick!" She starts laughing her head off at me again.

* * *

><p>Another half hour passes and we're still being interviewed. I'm slowly starting to get bored, but I think Lily is still enjoying it. If she wasn't with me then I think I would have been asleep by now. It's not because of the interview, but the fact i've not slept properly for days. I just want to go home and sleep!<p>

"Final question. Describe your perfect date." I smile now, knowing i'll be free soon but still look away. It's directed at Lily and I don't really want to hear her answer on how she's like to woo a guy or how her boyfriend has dated her.

"My ideal date... I've already had my ideal date because i designed it, cause it was wicked" I can't help but smile at the fact that she just called her own date that she created wicked.

"It was really nice and cheap" I stop smiling and can't help but wonder what a cheap skate she is!

"We got, like, one of those little bottles of champagne and takeaway pizza and went to Richmond Hill and looked at... the, erm scenery"

"Awww" It sounded similar to the day she took me to Richmond Hill but i doubted her perfect date would have been with me as it wasn't a date.

She turns to face me, looking really happy and nodding, "It was really nice"

At least I don't think it was a date... "Was that the heart shaped cake?" I ask, smiling and already knowing in my mind that it was that exact day and it wasn't with anyone else by the way she's reacting.

She looks at me, thinking back to that day quickly then gets really excited, "Yeah! And I made a heart shaped cake and, kind of... brought it with us"

I can't help but smile my head off, her perfect date was with _me._ I face her again, "It was us two" She looks at me as if she's just realised what she's just done. Yep, she's just as good as admitted it, she took _me _on a _date!_

Before i have a chance to ask her about it properly, the interviewer starts thanking us and then we're out of the door and back into the silence of the lift. I let my mind wonder back to that day at Richmond Hill.

After eating the cake, I laid down with my head on Lily's stomach, both of us watching the sun setting over London. That was when i noticed that Lily had been watching me.

I grin to myself. Looking _"at... the, erm scenery" _hey Lily?

I'm still smiling to myself when Lily looks at me strangely, I realise that I must look like a complete idiot as there's nothing to smile about in a lift. I clear my throat and put on a straight face, but then go back to remembering what happened after Lily was starring at me, then frown as I remember that she said I had pizza on my face after I asked her what she was looking at. I smile again, doubtful that i actually had pizza on my face, it's obvious now that it was just an excuse!

* * *

><p><em>I don't know how long we starred at each other for. "What?" I finally ask.<em>

_It seems as if it snapped her out of her daze. "Oh... You have, have, er, pizza on your face."_

_"What?" I sit up, rubbing my face._

_She laughs, "No you idiot, come here" I turn round to face her and she gently rubs it off my chin. "There, all gone" she says but still keeping her hand there._

_I stare into her gorgeous eyes. Brown meeting piercing blue. She looks down at my lips then back into my eyes and my stomach starts doing little somersaults._

* * *

><p>That's when we got interrupted by a fan wanting autographs for his girlfriend.<p>

I'm brought out of my thoughts when we reach the ground floor and the lift doors open. I step out and shake my head, clearing my thoughts, maybe i'm just over reacting...

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, i know it's just a short one, but the next chapter will make up for it i promise and it'll be up tomorrow too! Not sure if it'll be too soon for a <em>little<em> LilyKat action or not though... _ShiraStimulation_ i promise you, there won't be anymore interruptions in the next lot of chapters! At least i haven't thought up of any yet!**

**I'm also starting to be known for the songs i use in my fic's too and the song in the next chapter actually inspired me to write this! So i can't wait for you to read it tomorrow. Just finishing it up. And if you can't wait for it then go and look for it now. It's _I LOVE YOU_ by _Avril Lavigne_. The WHOLE song fits LilyKat perfectly :)**

**Also, if you've not seen it yet, you can watch 'The Richmond Hill' interview at youtube . com /watch?v=CjXTEi-PIHM and you'll find it at 1:28**

**Thank you for the reviews for both fic's. You lot really are amazing and _pocket-sized _you got your wish, not just 1 update, but 2!**


	7. I love you

**Kat's POV**

I walk into the club and hear a familiar voice singing Ce Lo Green's song Forget You. I look over towards the stage and laugh as I see a drunk Lisa on the karaoke! I'm quiet surprised to find that she can actually sing!

I make my way over the where everyone is sitting and I stand next to where Kaya is sitting and say hello to everyone. I ask if anyone would like a drink and then make my way over to the bar. As i'm waiting, I watch Lisa singing and everyone in the club singing along with her and taking photo's.

I look around the room and back over at our table just as Lily walks in. She's wearing a short black and white dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, black high heel shoes that make her legs look ten times longer, her long blonde hair is slightly curled and wavy. All in all, she looks fucking perfect!

I'm about to turn away when she locks eyes with me. The room suddenly gets a lot hotter and I can't take my eyes off her. She raises an eyebrow and winks at me then goes back to the conversation she was having with the rest of the group. I can't breathe!

I turn round to find the barman has been trying to get my attention to serve me. _Fuck. _I order the drinks plus one for Lily and ask for two shots which I drink straight away for a bit of dutch courage. I put the drinks on a tray and walk back over towards the table.

I place the tray down onto the table, receiving thanks form everyone and sit down in between Kaya and Lily and grab my own drink. "Hey you"

I tense at hearing Lily whisper in my ear, she's so close to me and is wearing the perfume I brought for her for Christmas. She was upset that she had run low on the stuff as you can only get in from America so when I was shooting a film over there, I brought some back for her. She was so happy and said that she would ration it by only wearing it for very special occasions. I had laughed at her but she really did. But why wear it tonight? There's nothing's special about having a drink with your friends after work.

I turn to face her. She looks absolutely stunning! She does everyday but tonight she is looking incredible! Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much before coming out, let alone those last two shots.

I realise that i've been staring at her for far too long but thankfully Lisa comes back over to save me. I turn back round and find everyone congratulating her.

"Yeah" I clear my throat to try and shake the image of Lily out of my head. "Well done Lisa, you were incredible"

"Aw, thanks you lot" Sh says whilst smiling happily.

"So whose up next then?" Kaya asks.

We look at one another as if she's lost the plot, there's no way I could see any of us up there, I'm still surprised that Lisa had the guts too.

"Fine, guess it'll just have to be me then" We look at her, each of us with shocked expressions on our faces as we watch her drink her pint in one. "Wish me luck" She then makes her way over to the stage. Everyone in the club claps and takes photo's of her as she takes the mic.

"She's never just done that... Has she?" Ollie asks, clearly still in shock.

Lisa stands up and hollers, waving her hands in the air, "Wooo! Go Kay, Go Kay!"

Merv and Meg start laughing and point at Jack. I look and can't help but join in. He's sitting with his mouth wide open, Lily leans over and shuts it with her hand. "Jack, how many more times? She has a boyfriend!"

He finally turns away, "Ha! It's my old Cookie ways coming back to me Lil's" He says whilst wriggling his eyebrows and wearing a huge grin on his face.

We burst out laughing. "Jesus! I swear you're turning into your character more and more everyday"

"It helps me to get away with it though, don't it?"

That, he has a point with. I look back over at Kaya as she starts singing Lucky You by Le Rev and the whole club starts applauding her. She really is a good singer.

I grab my drink and lean back into my chair and frown as something touches my back. I look over my shoulder to find Lily's arm is casually resting along the back of my chair. I look up at her but she's too busy watching Kaya. I turn back round confused.

Megan looks over at me and asks if i'm alright. I can't hear her so I nod my head as a reply then turn back to watch Kaya perform on stage, ignoring the fact that Lily is slowly creeping closer to me in her chair and the smell of her perfume is driving me mad.

_Secrets in my head_

_Secrets in my bed_

_There's more to me than you'll ever see_

_There's more to than you'll ever need._

I look up at Lily again and catch her staring at me. As soon as she realises that i've caught her she quickly looks away and grabs her drink, taking a large drink from it and clears her throat. I frown. Then I get a strange flashback from the time in our interview yesterday when she described her perfect date was with me and that I had caught her looking _'at the... erm, scenery' _I also remember that when we finished our first kiss for Skins: The Movie, she still had her arms wrapped around my waist and was staring into my eyes. It wasn't until someone walked up to us that she pulled away.

_Secrets of my soul_

_Secrets leave me cold_

_You do what you do_

_I'll be fine without you._

* * *

><p><em>"I'm what?" She says smiling away. I can't help but smile back and lose myself in her eyes. The city lights bounce off her face and she looks incredible. All night she had looked amazing in her little black dress and i couldn't help but not look at her. That's when I realise how close we are, still in each other's arms, smiling at one another. I'm completely lost.<em>

_"You're gorgeous"_

_Within seconds Lily's lips crash against mine. I don't quite register what's happening until I feel her tongue run along the bottom of my lip, seeing permission to enter my mouth, and I let her._

_I've missed the taste of vanilla on her rosy red lips and the feeling of being in her arms. I can't get enough and neither can she as puts her hands through my hair and moans into the kiss. I pull her unbelievably closer to me then I thought possible._

_But then we break apart and i'm running away from her. I hear her shouting after me but I can't stop._

* * *

><p>I look back up at Lily and all I can see is her. I forget that we are in a club surrounded by people. All I can see is her and hear Kaya singing.<p>

You want me but you don't know

_You want me but you don't know_

_That smash, don't smash through_

_Driving so fast, I hope I don't die soon._

_You'll remember anything_

_Lucky you, Lucky you._

I suddenly realise that it was _HER _who kissed me in Berlin. And it was _HER _who went to kiss me first on Richmond Hill, not me.

* * *

><p><em>"Guess we better get the bikini unpacked then."<em>

_I push Lily backwards onto the bed and pin her arms above her head. She squeals from being caught off guard and suddenly I kiss her. I smile into the kiss as she kisses me back._

_"And cut!"_

* * *

><p>It was already the end of the scene... why kiss back when you don't need too?<p>

Merv comes over and places another round of drinks onto the table for us all. I sit back, still trying to put everything together, confused. I watch as Lily's hand reaches over and grabs her drink.

* * *

><p><em>After<em> _the scene ends_ s_he puts her hand on my arm and I close my eyes. "Kat..." The director comes over and she moves away._

* * *

><p>She was about to say something but stops when the director came over. What was she going to say?<p>

It was the same just before the Heat Interview started yesterday, she was apologising about mentioning Berlin and when I said it was ok, she looked at me carefully and with a look i've never seen before. She also said earlier that she wished that I would stop running away from her like the time in Berlin.

Maybe when she was shouting at me after I ran, it _wasn't _to apologise for kissing me. That's probably why when I said that it was ok and to stop apologising, she didn't know which way to take it. Was she hoping that I would say something else? Was she upset that she thought that _I _was saying sorry for kissing her back in Berlin?

I shake my head and clear my throat whilst reaching for my drink and take a large gulp. I knew I shouldn't have come out tonight!

_You want me but you don't know, You want me but you don't know_

_You want me but you don't know, You want me but you don't know_

_You want me, You want me_

_You want me, You want me._

Lily looks over at me and smiles, then turns back to watch Kaya. This whole thing is starting to drive me mad!

_You don't touch my skin_

_You don't touch my hair_

_It doesn't mean I'm here._

* * *

><p><em>What are the best three things about being in Skins?<em>

_(smiles) Kat, Kat and... Kat!_

_Then Lily texts me: 'Can I come round?' But within minutes, she's at the door!_

_"That was quick!" I say, slightly confused._

_She smiles. "Yeah, I was, er, already in the area and I saw your missed called so I thought I would, you know, pop round and see you."_

_I frown at her and she looks away, biting her lip, obviously embarrassed. "Lily, you live on the other side of London" I grin at her, enjoying seeing her like this. It's like she's just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar!_

* * *

><p>What was the real reason? Why was she already outside the house?<p>

_You want me but you don't know, You want me but you don't know_

_You want me but you don't know, You want me but you don't know_

_You want me, You want me_

_You want me, You want me_

_You want me, You want me..._

Kaya finishes the song and heads back towards the table, receiving applauds from everyone in the club and all of us.

I look at Lily while she's busy talking to the others. I sigh, how much more obvious can it be? She obviously likes me... Or at least I think so does. Or am I wanting it to be real so much that i'm over reacting and over thinking everything? I have to be sure and for that, there's only one thing for it.

Before I know what i'm doing, i'm suddenly up and rush over to the bar. I hear them all asking what i'm doing and shouting after me but I ignore them. It's now or never and if I don't do something soon then I think i'll go mad!

I order a pint of ginger beer and rum, two more shots and ask the DJ if there's any chance he has a certain song and if I could sing it. He does, so I down the shots and then the pint in one after paying for it. I can just hear Jack sounding very pleased for me and head onto the stage.

As soon as I'm on stage, the club erupts with applauds, shouting, cheers and flashing lights from camera's. It would have to be the night when all the Skins fans are out, doesn't it? I try to forget about them and focus on the song i'm about to sing whilst the DJ sets everything up. I hope that by singing this song i'll know exactly how Lily feels. I'll hopefully find out that she feels the same or i'll look like a complete idiot. But then i guess i could just say that it was a way of flirting with her in front of our fans to promote the film a bit more, like we used too.

The song starts to kick in and the room starts to go quiet. I look over towards our table and see them all watching me. I block everyone out in the room. Apart from Lily. I look her straight in the eyes and start singing.

Lala, lalalala, lala, lalala

I like your smile

I like your vibe

I like your style

But that's not why I love you

And I, I like the way, You're such a star

But that's not why I love you, hey.

* * *

><p>She watches me amused. I can just about hear Lisa singing along with me.<p>

_Do you feel, do you feel me?_

_**Do you feel what I feel too?**_

_Do you need, do you need me?_

_Do you need me-e-e?_

* * *

><p>Kaya moves over and sits next to her and nudges her shoulder, grinning. I look back at Lily and point towards her.<p>

_You're so beautiful_

_But that's not why I love you_

_I'm not sure you know_

_That the reason I love you, is you_

_Being you, just you_

_Yeah, the reason I love you_

_Is all that we've been through_

_And that's why I love you._

* * *

><p>Kaya whispers something in Lily's ear and she blushes, she looks away from me and grabs her drink. I can't help but smile at her cuteness when she's embarrassed.<p>

_Lala, lalalala, lala, lalala_

_I like the way you misbehave_

_When we get wasted_

_But that's not why I love you_

_And how you keep your cool when I am complicated_

_But that's not why I love you, hey._

* * *

><p><em>Do you feel, do you feel me?<em>

**_Do you feel what I feel too?_**

_Do you need, do you need me?_

_Do you need me-e-e?_

* * *

><p>She puts her drink back down onto the table and looks at me. I smile and wink at her.<p>

_You're so beautiful_

_But that's not why I love you_

_And i'm not sure you know_

_That the reason I love you, is you_

_Being you, just you_

_Yeah, the reason I love you_

_Is all that we've been through_

_And that's why I love you._

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, Ohhhh, ohhhh<em>

_Even though we didn't make it through_

_I am always here for you_

_Yea-a-ah._

* * *

><p>I start to lose myself into the song and throw all of my emotion into it. I can't take my eyes off of her, she really is beautiful.<p>

_You're so beautiful_

_But that's not why I love you_

_I'm not sure you know_

_That the reason I love you, is you_

_Being you, just you_

_Yeah, the reason I love you_

_Is all that we've been through_

_And that's why I love you._

* * *

><p>I step off of the stage and slowly make my way towards Lily, who is slightly smiling but also looking slightly confused that i'm now heading towards her.<p>

_La la, la la la la (oh ohhh)_

_La la, la la la la (that's why I love you)_

_La la, la la la la (oh ohhh)_

* * *

><p>I bend down in front of her and take one of her hands into mine. I look up and smile.<p>

_La la, la la la Loveless_

_That's why I love... you_

The room bursts into the loudest applause i've ever heard but I still don't take my eyes off of her. She stares at me but doesn't respond. I can hear the DJ talking along with everyone else and our group of friends, but all I can see is her. She looks at me nervously and I being to think that i've got it all wrong and that it was a huge mistake. I stand up and is about to let go of her hand when she grabs it tighter. _"NO!"_ I turn back to face her, confused and she motions towards the toilet with her head. A small smile creeps onto her face and I can't help but laugh as she quickly pulls me into the toilets without giving me a chance to reply or to explain to anyone that i'll be going. I follow her into the thankfully empty toilets and she pushes me into a cubicle, locks the door and turns round to face me again. She takes a step closer to me but stops, "What was that out there all about? The... the song?"

I look at her nervously. "It..." I stop and look at her properly, trying to work out if this is _her _way of finding out how _I _feel or if it's just one big joke. I decide that enough is enough, I have to know. "It was... about you"

She takes another step closer to me, but still looks a little nervous. "Me?"

I smile up at her, but i'm just as nervous, "Yep"

She starts to smile back, "So it wasn't some sort of Naomily based promotion again? You know, to promote the movie when it comes out? To cause attention?" I try not to laugh at her cute ramblings and shake my head. "It was about me... Lily?" I can't help it and laugh out loud at the fact she had to confirm that it was indeed _her_ and _not_ Naomi.

I nod my head and try to calm my laughter, "Hm mm" I clear my throat and grow serious. "Lily... Do you remember that day you came round? I was going to tell you something but then Megan came down the stairs and interrupted us?" She frowns but nods her head. "Well..." I smile at her and take _my _step closer to her. "I was going to say that..." I look at the lock on the door and smile at the fact its locked. _NO _interruptions this time. I look back at her still smiling, and she smiles back whilst biting her bottom lip. "When you kissed me in Berlin, it was the most amazing feeling in the world. When you kissed me, I never wanted it to end. I'm sorry for running away. I don't know why I did it, I just did. Maybe I didn't want to face the consequences of my actions"

She takes the final step forwards and places both of her hands on the either sides of my arms. I look up at her and see her smiling the most, amazing, perfect smile in the world and her eyes are a shade darker but still that glittering, stunning blue. I can't breathe again, let alone talk! "I know"

She leans down as soon as the words leave her mouth and capture my lips with hers. I feel her arms wrap around my waist and my hands instantly go around her neck. Our lips move together as she grabs my waist and pulls me closer. Her tongue slowly creeps along the bottom of my lip and I let her enter my mouth, moaning into the kiss as it becomes even more intense and passionate. I slide both of my hands around her neck and lose them in her hair as I pull her even closer to me. I shudder as I feel her hands work their way under my top and onto my bare skin. I smile into the kiss when I feel them turn downwards, into the back of my skinny jeans and gently stroke the bottom of my back. I moan out loud when she slips her thigh between mine and breaks off the kiss to start leaving a soft trail of kisses down my neck. She gently bites my ear lobe and whispers into my ear.

"Not here" She says, breathlessly. She grabs my hand and unlocks the door. We head out the back way of the club and into the cold night without anyone seeing us. As soon as we're outside, I quickly scan the area and smile when I don't see a single person. She carries on walking, with my hand in hers and I suddenly stop. I grin when the action makes her spin round and back into me. She smiles when she see's how close to each other we are again before looking down to my lips. I lean into her and press my mouth into hers. I interlock our hands and hold them at our sides. I move along her jawline, kissing down her neck and hear her moan at the effect i'm having on her. Then I hear something else that's defiantly _not _from her!

I slowly open my eyes and break off the kiss to see a taxi behind her. Perfect.

I pull her towards the waiting taxi and hear her giggle as we get closer to it. We get in and she gives the driver her address. We lean back into the seat, holding hands and smiling happily. God, I've missed that sweet taste of vanilla!

* * *

><p><strong>Eek... hope it was ok?<strong>

**Sorry it's a long chapter, but I thought it was overdue so I spoiled you a bit.**

_**ShiraStimulation - **_**The part where Kat looks at the locked door and smiles because there'll be no distractions was _just _for you, could you tell? haha.**

**Thank you for the reviews everyone, please keep them coming! I promise you wont have to wait so long for updates in the future x**


	8. Temptations

**Kat's POV**

We come flying through the front door, still kissing one another. I have a hand wrapped around her neck and the other is lost in her hair. Lily has both of her hands gripping firmly onto my bum, pulling me into her. She kicks the door shut behind her whilst pushing me backwards and I eventually fall onto the sofa with her landing on top of me.

She breaks off the kiss to leave yet another trail of soft, warm kisses down my neck. As much as I love this and the feeling of Lily all over me, I can't help but think that it's too soon. I really don't want to be thinking that though, especially when I feel her hand touch my bare skin under my top and slowly moves up towards my breast, leaving a trail of fire burning my skin, whilst she gently starts licking a path down to my chest. I arch my back upwards into her and moan. Nope, I defiantly do not want this to end so I grab her and pull her up for yet another searing kiss.

Her tongue enters my mouth straight away and I pull her closer into me but before I know what i'm doing, I whisper into her ear, breathlessly. "We need to stop."

She moves back a little to see me better and raises an eyebrow, "You really want me to stop?" She says, just as breathless and slightly surprised, "Really?"

I gulp out loud at the sight of her. She's sitting on top of me with her hands on my hips, looking totally fucking sexy and you can tell from the look in her eyes that she really wants me. I frown, I must be mad if I want to stop this!

She grins at me then bends down to kiss me again but before she has a chance to, I put a hand out to push her back and smile, "If you kiss me again then I defiantly won't be able to stop"

She leans down closer to me and whispers into my ear with a slight husk in her voice, "And what if I don't want you to stop?"

I look into her eyes and it takes all of my effort to try and stop this as my brain and body is screaming for me to carry on as i've wanted this for so long but it's just too soon. "Lily..."

Before I have a chance to finish, she leaves a single, soft kiss on my lips and sighs whilst getting off me, "Fine." I miss her touch as soon as she's standing in front of me. I stay where I am, lying on the sofa but frown when she grins down at me. "You're right. Things were getting a little heated." I lean up onto my elbows and watch intrigued as she slowly starts to unzip her dress, "So..." I bite my lip as I watch her take a step backwards towards her En Suite bedroom, her eyes boring into mine with so much want. Her voice has a slight, sexy husk that i've never heard before and I contemplate getting up and ripping that dress off of her myself. "I'm just going to..." She looks over her shoulder into her bedroom whilst taking yet another step backwards and faces me again, "You know" She winks at me and drops her dress. My mouth drops open at the sight of her in just her black, lacy underwear!

She licks her bottom lip slowly before biting it and raises her eyebrow and looks at me with that sexy grin she does, which I swear she knows turns me on, "And have..." She reaches the doorway. I can't move or even breathe from the sight of her. "A cold shower."

And with that, she disappears into the bathroom leaving me on the sofa, gobsmacked. I look down at her dress which is now laying on the floor and smile whilst shaking my head. Tease.

I groan and stand up. Why did I ever think about stopping this? I know in the future that I definitely won't! I walk over to the dress and pick it up, I smile when I feel the warmth of her still on it and look towards the bedroom. I walk in whilst folding the dress neatly and place it on the bed. The sound of the shower fills my ears and I turn to face the open bathroom door. Images of her naked, wet and in need of company occupy my mind.

Somehow though, I manage to fight off my filthy thoughts and head back out of the bedroom and into the living room again. I try to think of a way that would distract my thoughts and my eyes land on her iPod dock. At least, if she hears music then she'll know i've not ran away again. I search through it, looking for something to listen too, laughing out now and again at the bad taste in music she has. Seriously, Arctic Monkeys? You can do better then that...

I decide on Hey, Soul Sister by Train. It kind of reminds me of her but not only that, she doesn't really have that much of a great selection in music! As the music plays, I wonder round her living room looking for something to do whilst waiting for her to appear, looking at random things and photo's.

_Hey, hey, hey_

_Your lipstick stains _

_On the front lobe of my left side brains,_

_I knew I wouldn't forget you_

_And so I went and let you blow my mind._

_Your sweet moonbeam_

_The smell of you in every single dream I dream_

_I knew when we collided_

_You're the one I have decided_

_Who's one of my kind._

_Hey, Soul Sister_

_Ain't that mister, mister, On the radio, stereo_

_The way you move ain't fair, you know_

_Hey, Soul Sister_

_I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight._

Lily comes out of the bedroom and I jump when I hear her talking to me, "Weren't sure if you'd still be here or not." I smile and turn round to face her and my mouth drops open for the second time in one night at the sight of her. "Didn't know if you'd run away from me, yet again" She says smiling, whilst walking over to her open plan kitchen wearing nothing but a towel!

_Just in time_

_I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me_

_You gave my life direction_

_A game show connection, we can't deny._

_I'm so obsessed_

_My heart is bound to beat_

_Right out my untrimmed chest_

_I believe in you_

_Like a virgin, you're Madonna_

_And i'm always gonna, wanna blow your mind._

I clear my throat after awhile, realising that i've been staring at her longer then I should. "Nope, no, i'm still here, yep." I stay where I am, rooted to the spot and watch her as she opens the fridge.

"I've not got any beers for you, will wine be ok? I know you don't like the stuff, but it's all i've got left"

I nod my head, forgetting that she can't see me as she's too busy getting glasses. "Er, yeah, wine will be ok, thanks" I seriously need to get a grip.

_Watching you is the only drug I need_

_So gangster, I'm so thug_

_You're the only one i'm dreaming of._

_You see, I can be myself now finally_

_In fact there's nothing I can't be_

_I want the world to see you'll be with me._

_Hey, Soul Sister_

_I don't wanna miss a single thing you do... Tonight._

She pours the wine into two glasses and brings them over with her, placing the bottle onto the table and hands me a glass. She looks at me carefully then sits down on the sofa, I follow and sit next to her. "Sorry about the wine" She says as she takes a sip out of her glass.

"Its ok" I say, looking at my glass, trying my best to keep my eyes off of her amazing body.

"You can go, if you want"

I quickly look up at her, worried. "Do you want me to go?"

She smiles sadly, "No" I start to relax a little. "We do need to talk though"

I silently agree with her as there was something that kept going around in my head when we were in the taxi that was confusing me. "Lily. Back in the club, when I told you that I weren't sure why I ran away from you, that it may have been because I didn't want to come to terms with what i'd done. You said that you know. What do you mean, you know?"

"That's what I want to talk to you about." She turns to face me better on the sofa and leans back, getting comfy. "I knew how much this was bothering you. I don't know how, I just had this feeling it was. I tried to reassure you every time but you either ran off like in Berlin or you'd shut yourself off just like that day on set after you kissed me again even though we'd finished filming. I wanted to let you know that it was ok, but you wouldn't give me a chance... or some idiot would interrupt every fucking time." She takes another sip of her wine and faces me again. "That day I came round to ask if Megan could give me something back was just an excuse to see you again. And remember that day I texted you to see if I could come round, but I was already in the area? That was the same." She looks at me intently and slightly smiles. "I didn't really want to go through the scripts, I just missed you and wanted to spend some time with you again."

I smile at her. "I missed you too." She bites her lip whilst smiling like a goon and takes a sip of her wine. I frown then though, thinking. "But if you missed me, why ignore my calls?" She stops smiling and looks away, as if thinking of a suitable answer. "Lily?"

"I was upset." She says quietly and looks back at me. "I was upset of how I felt about you and that it felt like every time I got close to you, you'd run away. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it would be because you were scared. So I kept my distance so you could sort your head out. I didn't want to freak you out anymore. But the longer I didn't see or talk to you, the more it hurt. I didn't want to lose you as a friend so I thought I would leave you alone. Just thought I would wait until you were ready to admit how you felt. I knew that once you were ready, you'd tell me. I knew what you were trying to tell me the day Megan told us about The Movie, but you were starting to get into a state that I tried to stop you. I was going to try and reassure you that everything's ok, but you wouldn't let me... then your tit of a sister came bumbling down the stairs and stopped me."

I laughed gently and nod my head, agreeing with her. I couldn't believe how well she knows me or even the fact that she feels the same way. Has done for a while. "I wished you had said something sooner." I look up at her, sadly but she smiles.

"And what? You may have freaked out big time, even if you do feel the same!" She downs the rest of her wine and places the empty glass onto the table, then sits back to face me again. "I still don't think you're ready for all this yet, either."

I nod, she's been right with everything she's said. "I'm just not ready for people to judge me yet, that's all."

She looks at me and smiles brightly. "And what about us?"

I can't help but smile back. "What do you mean, 'what about us?"

"I mean..." She bites her bottom lip, takes my glass of wine that i've not touched and places it onto the table then looks back at me while putting her arm along the back of the sofa. Her hand lightly stroking my arm. "...Us."

I look into her gorgeous blue eyes and instantly get butterflies in the pit of my stomach. How does she constantly give me this feeling? I bite my lip while trying to contain the smile that is slowly creeping its way across the whole of my face "Us, hey?"

"Yep... us" She carries on stroking my arm with one hand whilst taking my hand with the other. "Fancy giving us a go? No one needs to know." I look down at our hands and smile. "I promise to take things as slow as you want it to" She puts her other hand under my chin and lifts my head up to look into her eyes. "I'll be there for you. Help you through it all. I promise."

"But what about your boyfriend?"

She shrugs. "What about him? I know it's heartless to say, but I don't feel for him, what I feel for you. Watching you up on that stage tonight made me realise exactly how much I feel for you. How I've always felt about you. I felt every emotion in every word you sang, and I couldn't help but feel the same." She looks me up and down, grinning. "And who can blame me? You look incredible!"

I laugh at her, then smirk at the sight of her in front of me. "Hm, you look incredible too. Love the whole towel thing you've got going on."

We burst out laughing. "Seriously though" She says, when we start to calm down. "How about it? Me and you?"

I watch her for a minute, she looks so adorable when she's nervous. I bite my lip as I feel a huge grin spreading across my face. _Me and you. _It keeps going around my head and that funny, little feeling in my stomach returns. "I think..." I whisper as I slowly lean towards her, "I think I'd quite like that."

She smiles into the kiss and I lose myself in her again, my hand rests on her bare thigh, just under the bottom of her towel. "You better go" She whispers, resting her forehead against mine while looking into my eyes, smirking.

"Is that so I don't whip off that towel and make a huge mistake with you?"

"No, no. It's because i'm taking you on a date first!" She says, getting excited.

I sit back and frown at her, "A what?"

"A date!" She says again and as if it's a normal thing to do. "You know, you, me, a beautiful place..." She looks at my _still _full glass of wine on the table. "Although no wine" She looks back at me. "I'll treat you right, i'll pay and-"

I cut her off with another kiss to shut her up. She looks back, surprised. "What? You talk to much!"

She slaps my arm gently which causes us to giggle at one another, "I do not talk too much!" She grabs the glasses, bottle of wine and stands up to walk over to the kitchen, I follow and watch her as she puts everything away. "So..." She says when she's finished and leans back against the counter, pulling me into her. She wraps her arms around my waist and I rest mine around her neck. "Fancy going on a date with me tomorrow, Miss. Prescott?"

I grin back up at her, "Well, seeing as you're asking so nicely. Yes, I will"

"Good" She leans down and leaves a single kiss on my lips. "I'll pick you up from yours at 7"

"Looking forward to it." She smiles and takes my hand in hers, walking me over to the door. When we reach it, I can't help but pull her into me and kiss her, just because I could. Just as the kiss starts to get heated, I rest my hands on her bum, _under_ her towel. "Guess i'll see you tomorrow then." I say as I gently pinch her on the bum then open the door.

"God, you're so evil" She says as I step out.

"I know." I smirk then wink at her, "See you." Before she can say or do anything, I turn and walk away, leaving her gobsmacked in the doorway. As I walk away, I can't help but wish that tomorrow could come sooner. I've got a date with Lily Loveless and there's no way that _anyone_ is going to stop it. Not even me, this time...

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><p><strong>Think I lost it in the middle somewhere but please forgive me, i'm a little tipsy and it is midnight. The next chapter you'll love me for, i'm sure...<strong>

**Iwetta - I was mean. Sorry x**

**ShiraStimulation - I didn't think of a tornado, so thanks for the idea for the future ;)**

**Pocket-sized - Thank you! And i'm glad you love the story so much. I was a bad person again, I know.**

**Hope you're not getting bored of it yet. Please keep the reviews coming! Thank you for all of them already and the alerts etc. But for now, enjoy :)**


	9. The date

**Lily's POV**

My best friend is Kathryn. And i'm in love with her. I think she's the sweetest, most beautiful woman i've ever met.

Sometimes I can't help but just stare at her. She has long eyelashes and deep brown eyes that could make even the hardest person in the world want to hug her and cute, pouting lips which drive me crazy. Even her little, button nose is adorable. She has the best way of touching me, too. She very softly plays with my hair, rubs my back when she hugs me and kisses my forehead but it's never anything, just a small friendly gesture. It always felt like she was teasing me. I don't think she knows just how much she means to me but hopefully tonight, i'll be able to finally let her know.

I look in the mirror trying to see if I look at least half decent. My blonde hair is curled and hangs just over my shoulders, and my eyes seem to match my navy blue dress which stops just above my knees, and makes my legs look slightly longer thanks to my heels. I didn't really have much time to get ready, but all in all, I think I look good. Good enough to take my dream girl out for a nice romantic dinner, anyway.

The doorbell goes and I jump, knocking me out of admiring myself in the mirror. I hope that whoever it is won't be long as I really need to get going or else she may think that I was messing with her. I smooth out my dress and walk over to the door, as I open it, however, I lose my breath.

Standing in front of me is Kathryn, looking absolutely stunning! Her bright, red hair is straight but with a little quiff, making her look amazing. Her pale skin seems to shine against her little, black dress, which is short. Which of course makes her look incredibly sexy.

"Kat," I say when I can finally breath again, "You look... gorgeous" I stare at her, still not quite able to take my eyes of her.

"Thanks." She says happily.

I blush when I realise that i've obviously acted like a twat and clear my throat. "So, erm, what are you doing here? Thought I said that I was coming to pick _you _up?"

She smiles, "You did. But I know what you're like. You try on every single dress you have at least twice and then stand in front of the mirror, admiring yourself for almost 20 minutes a time, still wondering what else you have to wear. That always makes you late, so I thought I would come and get you myself." I blush again at the truth. She stands back to look me up and down and I frown. "But, it was definitely worth it. You look beautiful."

My heart skips a beat and I can't help but smile. "Well thank you." I bite my lip, "We better get going, the table's already booked." I grab my keys and bag and we head out towards the restaurant. It's only a small walk from where I live so we don't bother phoning for a taxi. As we're walking there, I have a huge urge to grab her hand in mine, but I fight it, knowing that it's far too soon and she'll probably freak at the thought of people seeing us together like this. Especially as the paparazzi are following us from not so far away too.

When we finally get into the warmth of the restaurant, a waitress shows us to our table. I requested a table at the very back, where it's dim and the candles on the tables and windows are the only source of light. It's perfect, however, I think the waitress is a little starstruck and we try our best not to laugh as she stutters whilst she talks to us.

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><p>Dinner lasted a little over an hour but it felt a lot less because of our chatter and laughter. It was light, friendly and well, just overall nice. I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom but when I got up, my leg brushes lightly across hers. Once again, it feels like I can't breathe. Kathryn must have sensed my nervous reaction, because she too seems a little shocked. I finally find the nerve to move and fumble my way to the ladies. I stay in there for five minutes, telling myself to calm down.<p>

When I finally return to the table, Kat looks up at me, smiling nervously. "You ok?"

I smile back at her and drink the rest of my drink. "Yeah, course. Why wouldn't I be?" I grab the check off the table and pay before she has a chance too and we leave.

We take a slow walk back to my home and I can't help but take a side long glance towards her. She really does look stunning. "Stop it." She says grinning.

I stop, confused. "What?"

She starts walking slowly again. "You know what." She shouts over her shoulder.

I grin and follow her again. I bend down a little and whisper in her ear so the paparazzi couldn't hear. "Who can blame me? You're looking very gorgeous tonight, Prescott."

She's still grinning as she nudges me. "And what? I'm not gorgeous everyday?"

I'm try my best to look as if i'm thinking, "Hm, nah, not really"

She gently slaps me on my arm. "Oi!"

She laughs at my best attempt of a shocked face and I laugh as I put my arm around her neck. "You know i'm messing." I say loud enough for the paps to hear, but then I bend down a little again and whisper, "But you know I love you really."

She bites her bottom lip as she looks at me carefully. I try and hide the smirk on my face but it doesn't work as her beautiful smiles appears on her face. "Well it's a good job then, isn't it?"

The way she's looking at me, let alone what she's wearing, I can't help it. I grab her hand in mine, pulling her towards home and hear her giggling behind me as she tries to keep up with me. When we're inside I turn to face her, her hand still in mine, not wanting to let go. "Thank you for tonight, Lily. It was lovely."

I smile, swinging our hands slightly next to us. "You're welcome."

She takes a step forward and reaches up to me a little, "_You_ were lovely." She says it so quietly, i'm sure I would have missed it if she wasn't so close. Then she leaves a kiss on my lips, a kiss so soft that I could barely feel it. She steps back and looks up at me, smiling. My heart pounds so loudly in my ears and I can't move, then she reaches up to me again, grinning.

I slowly kiss her, softly pressing my lips against hers as she strokes my hair as we move deeper into the kiss. I hear her moan into the kiss but then she moves away and turns towards the door. I watch, gobsmacked. "Wha- What are you-"

She turns back round to face me, a devilish grin on her face as she locks the door behind her and leans back against the door. "_No_ interruptions."

Her voice, so husky and sexy. Her stunning dress. Her amazing deep, brown eyes. Her fiery red hair. Her pouting lips and little, adorable button nose. Her... Her just everything! I lose control of myself and rush up towards her, pushing her back into the door. I feel her smile as I bend down and kiss her again, the lust I feel as her body presses against mine is amazing. I brake the kiss and start to kiss and gently bite her neck but then moan as she struggles to help me take off both of our dresses.

We manage to get them off and somehow manage to get to my bedroom. I lay her down and can't help but grin at her perfect body underneath me with her amazing, perfect, round breasts hidden beneath sexy, black underwear. I bend down and softly kiss her chest, her hands feel so good against my hot skin as I get rid of her bra before slowly making my way along her collarbone, to her right breast and then to her nipple where I begin to lightly suck it. She moans as I lick the very tip of her nipple and nibble gently.

I slip my tongue down her soft, bare skin and I can't resist flicking my tongue lightly across her belly ring as it looks so good on her, then down towards where she wants me most. She lets out a small whimper as I stop. I lift my head and meet her eyes, seeing the want there, my mouth's on her in a second, licking her, tasting her and it feels like heaven. I feel her shake every time I brush against her clit, slowly rocking in time with me. I circle her with my tongue and she groans with every rotation. Suddenly, I take it in my mouth and suck it hard and fast. She grabs onto my hair and moans, pushing me into her for more.

She arches her back, "Fuck Lily..." Her deep husky, breathless voice rings through my ears. She sounds and looks so sexy right now, i'd do anything for her. "Please..."

I double the rhythm of my strokes, my teeth tenderly taking the pink bud of her clit between them. I slide another hand into my knickers, finding the already wet hardness of my own clit and roughly flick over it. It only takes me a few strokes before I groan out loud as the waves of pleasure wash through me. At the same time, Kat clenches around my fingers tightly, holding me inside of her as she came too.

After a few minutes of hearing nothing but our breathing, I slowly move back up towards her. I bite my lip as I take in the sight of her underneath me. Is it even possible for someone to become aroused again, just seconds after they've came?

I brush a stray hair out of her face and smile down to her. "You're so beautiful."

"I never thought..." she began, her voice even huskier then ever; sexy and breathless.

I lay a single finger over her lips, "Ssshh" And place a single kiss on her lips. I climb over her body and lay next to her and her arms come around me, holding me close as we share a long and passionate kiss. She lays against me as I stare into her gorgeous brown eyes, watching the huge grin appear on her face.

We fell asleep in each others arms and woke up the next morning, to a new life together...

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><p>"Go away," I mumble into the pillow. "It's fucking Sunday!"<p>

"I... er, I made breakfast" says a small, timid voice above me. I frown, i've been dreaming about this for years, please tell me this is not a dream and it's real, that _last night_ was real. I lift my head from the pillow slowly and find Kat in nothing but one of my shirts and standing over me. She also didn't have any make up on. Definitely real... and definitely god damn sexy!

She grins at me as I shamelessly check her out and bends down to kiss me. I gently pull her onto the bed, on top of me and smile. "Mm, good morning to you too" I murmur against her lips, before capturing them in mine again. As good morning kisses go, ours is just simply too hot to be in that category. It's when my fingers slipped under her shirt that she stops me.

"I left the cooker on" she says, her eyes not leaving my lips. She leans down and quickly presses a kiss on them before rushing back up to her feet. "I made breakfast" she says again.

"Oh, really?" I shout as my eyes flick down to her arse as she walks out of the door, into the kitchen. "I thought you said _you _were breakfast."

She re-appears in the doorway and leans onto the door frame, ginning and raises an eyebrow. "I've turned the cooker off..." She then begins to _very_ slowly walk towards me whilst taking off her shirt, _very, very _slowly.

Could there be any better way to start the day?

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it ;)<strong>

**Sorry it's a shortish chapter and I didn't talk more about their date, I know I should have.**

**Also sorry _pixiedust123 _but I had to put it in, the others would have harmed me in horrible ways otherwise.**

_**ShiraStimulation **_**I was true to my word for you, for once. You got your "No interruptions." Love your new fic by the way, it really is amazing!**

_**Andreathewriter **_**You must be a mind reader, was planning the next one to be Lily's pov. The next one is too. **

**In fact, talking of which. The next one is already written and ready for you lot... but i'm being mean and wont let you have it unless you review *evil grin***

**Thank you for all the reviews and updates so far too, in the words of Kat, "You're lovely" :)**


	10. The morning after

**Lily's POV**

"Do you have anything planned for today?" I ask. Kat is sitting opposite me, holding a cup of coffee close to her, with her feet up on the chair, watching me as I eat.

"No, not really." She replies as she gets up and puts her cup in the sink.

"Good, because I-" I stop talking and watch her as she starts to wash the dirty dishes. I watch her fascinated, not because she was actually washing up but because every time she lifts her hands, the shirt that she's wearing hitches up a little bit to expose more skin.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why?" I ask, moving up behind her and resting my chin on her shoulder. "Don't you know how sexy you look in my shirt? I could eat you." I gently bite the bottom of her ear to prove my point and smile when I feel her shudder.

"Sexy? You think I'm sexy?" She says, grinning and biting her lip.

"Hm mm, you know I think you're _unbelievably_ sexy." I start kissing my way down her neck. "You're beautiful," I say in between kisses. "And I love the belly bar." I slide my hand under her shirt and rest my head back on her shoulder.

"I'm glad you like it." I smile again when I realise that she's stopped washing up.

"I like _you_, baby." I kiss her neck again. "What else don't I know about you, hm?"

I feel her smile on the side of my face. "I am a quarter Swiss and an eighth Russian. So not very Russian, but still a little bit."

"Fuck." _Wow! _I can't help the grin that is spreading it's way across the whole of my face. Kat... Russian... Swedish! I shake my head and clear my throat. Mostly to clear the naughty thoughts that are going through my head.

"Mm, my last name is actually Peskavitch, but my family changed it to Prescott."

"Peskavitch... Kathryn Preskavitch..." I say, thoughtfully. "Nope, definitely Prescott." She's about to say something but stops when I suddenly start laughing. "Vitch?"

She rolls her eyes whilst still smiling, "Uh-oh, here we go."

"No, wait" I say in between giggling my head off. "Fitch! As in Emily _Fitch_! Oh my God, that's hilarious! Peskavitch... Pesk-A-Fitch!"

She elbows me lightly, which only makes me laugh more. "And you wonder why I don't tell you things... Miss. Lily May Love Less" She says, just as amused.

"Ok, Ok, I'm sorry, but you have to admit, it is funny" I say, calming down a little and I wrap my arms back round her waist, leaning my head on her shoulder again. "Promise I won't laugh again, baby. Well, I say I won't but..."

She turns round to face me in my arms. My brain goes numb and my stomach won't stop doing little somersaults at the look she's giving me. "I love it when you call me that."

I smile, but try to look confused, "Say what?"

She pulls me closer to her and bites her lip whilst looking down towards mine, then back up to my eyes. "You know what."

I _really _need to feel those lips against mine again and lean down, smiling. "Baby" I whisper. Her eyes flutter shut as my mouth covers hers with a groan. My hands slowly drop to her hips and I make circles on her hipbone as she pulls away to look at me again.

"Lily… Last night" she stutters.

"Was amazing," I finish for her and steal a kiss.

"No, no. I mean, yes, it was amazing, but..."

"But what?" By now, I'm pushing her up against the counter.

She blushes, making her look even cuter then possible. "But... did you, uh, did you, you know?"

I smile at her as she looks far too cute when she's embarrassed and lift her onto the counter whilst leaning in to nip at the delicious corner of her lip. "Yes, I did."

I saw the relief in her eyes. "I'm so sorry for... without helping you to, uh..."

"That's all right. You made up for it this morning." I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she giggles, slapping my arm gently.

"You've been spending far too much time with Jack"

I start kissing her neck again. "For someone who can't say the words, you're not afraid to actually, _do it._" I say, amused.

She puts her arms around my neck and leans back to look into my eyes. "Lily... you don't think its too soon do you?"

I brush a stray hair out of her eyes and gently brush her cheek with my thumb. "I've waited for you for years. I can still wait and we can take it as slow as you want it to... Thats if you really want us to slow down..."

My fingers travel to the waistline of her knickers to come to a rest on the curve of her ass. Slowly, so as to know she would feel it, I reach into her knickers and drew a finger over one soft curve. True enough, she jerked against me.

"Do you want us to stop?" I whisper.

She shakes her head, grinning and pulls me closer to her. "I was just making sure." Then she slides her lips against mine and I hear her soft sigh of pleasure. It was beautiful, this, the simple joining of lips, I thought, just before my tongue darts out to catch hers. Her mouth is slick and hot, tasting just like coffee.

My fingers stole up her shirt to cup the bare smoothness of her breasts. She scooted forward so that she was straddling my hips, her ample tits crushed against my much smaller ones. We moaned when we felt our nipples brush each other's and the electrifying feel of it ran through our bodies.

"You can tell me to stop at any time, baby." I say, getting slightly breathless already.

She shakes her head again, "I don't want you to stop." My lips are instantly against her's again at the sound of her, beautiful husky voice.

I release her mouth for a second, taking the time to pull the shirt over her head. Then my mouth is back on hers, searing, devouring, taking, and giving everything that I knew she wanted. My hands cradled each of her bountiful breasts, my thumbs swirling about her hard nipples for her pleasure. When my nails grazed the side of her breast, she jerked away from me in surprised pleasure. I trailed kisses from the corner of her mouth to her collarbone, feeling her tense in arousal, waiting for my mouth to cover the sensitive tip of her breasts. Her fingers were tangled in my hair at the nape of my neck, pulling on the loose strands, as though she was begging me.

"Lily, please," she pleaded as my mouth remained on the dainty throb of her pulse, licking the spot where her heart beat faster just for me. Its an amazing feeling to have a woman so beautiful moaning in your hands.

I slide down, trailing my hands across her sides as I did so. I feel Kat shudder beneath me when my tongue places a tiny lick on the corner of each breast, gradually, my lips found the way to her nipples. They were rock hard and I grinned before taking one into my mouth. She arches her back with a cry and I feel power rush through me. My thumb and forefinger brush across her other breast and she makes a noise at the back of her throat. I look up at her, but her eyes are closed with her head thrown back. I swear that she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Baby?" Her eyes flutter open and she looks down at me. My mouth is still against her breast. "Lie back." She did and I'm greeted with the sight of her knicker-clad self, so off came the obstruction. I look back up at her. "You're beautiful," I whisper before parting her legs with my fingers. I stroke down the length of her first, feeling her slick wetness. She moans when I let the tip of my finger enter her and whimper when I drew out. I repeated the process again and again.

Her clit's hard when I put my mouth to it, suckling it. Her scent surrounded me, surrounded us, in its muskiness as I sucked on her, drawing forth a symphony of pleasure. When I accompanied my sucking with a finger that thrust into her, she arched off the counter with a strangled cry. I could almost feel the pleasure building inside her, making her clamp harder and harder around my fingers. Another finger joined in her pleasuring, pumping into her in a sensual rhythm that only both of us could move to which intensifies the knot of need that had grown in me since I saw her this morning dressed only in my shirt.

I start pushing into her faster and faster until her fingers in my hair became painfully delightful and she arches into me, thrusting herself onto my hand. A hoarse cry came from low in her throat before she tightened around me, and I held onto her as she rode out her orgasm.

I lean back against an adjoining counter and I can't tear my eyes from her. She's rather beautiful, right now. She opens her eyes and looks at me, her hands go around me and she hugs me to her tightly, as she pulls me in for a kiss. As we pull away, Kat looks up at me, a cheeky smile lighting her face. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her back to my room, laying her down on the bed. I lean down, covering her body with mine. She giggles and spreads her legs to accommodate me as I balance myself on my forearms, looking down at her.

Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are heavy lidded with the aftermath of her orgasm. I bend down to place a small, delicate kiss on her lips but she pushes me over so that I land on my back and she rises to straddle me. I look up at her, amused.

"Take off your clothes," she whispers in my ear and I instantly grab hold the hem of my sweatshirt. She helps me lift it up and over my head, which leaves me only in my shorts. The cool air in the room hits the bareness of my stomach and breasts, making goose bumps run down my skin and I watch Kat as she watches me in wonder.

I've always been a little self-conscious of my breasts. They were small and barely round enough to fill someone's hands. That was the reason that I usually keep my top on during sex; there's no reason to take it off anyway. I won't get any pleasure from baring my breasts to my partner... or so I'd thought.

But the innocent sex bomb straddling me proves me wrong. She leans over and flicks her tongue over one hard nipple, making me gasp "Fuck..." I could practically feel her smiling against my skin as I did that. Her hands are on the bed, stabilising her as she works on them. And with each lick, each tiny bite, I feel ecstasy running through my body. My fingers found their way into Kat's bright, red hair, anchoring her head to my needy breasts. A moan tears from my throat and ends on a whimper as she toys with one pink nipple, swirling it around with her tongue. She keeps it up until i'm writhing under her and my fingers in her hair must be painful.

Slowly, as though one fast move would bring us out of our world, she spreads my thighs and slides hers between mine. I gasp when her knee nudges my pussy, grinding the sensitive folds against the worn cotton of my shorts. "God, Kat, I-" She cuts me off with a kiss, her tongue playing with mine, my fingers cup her jaw as she moves against me.

I'd always been someone who takes her pleasure in silence, but this time, it felt as though the world was closing in around me. Bright lights flared behind my eyelids as Kat rode me, taking me to a wild place that I realised only she could take me too. I tear my mouth away from hers only because I can't hold back any longer. A groan erupts from my throat as the hard knot within me snaps, bringing a surge of pleasure that was far too raw, too beautiful for me to experience alone. My hands go around Kat's back and I bring her closer her to me, riding out the waves. It's never felt so good.

* * *

><p>We're a tangle mess of arms and legs when I wake up later in the afternoon. Kat's cushioned against my side, her breath warm on my neck. We're both completely naked with not even a sheet to cover us and I crack a smile at the thought of how we must look right now.<p>

Without trying to wake her, I turn round to look at the clock. The digital red numbers read 5:58 P.M. "_Shit_." The day's almost over.

"Kat?" I whisper after a few minutes of watching her sleep. I could watch her forever, with her hair in a mess and lips parted, she's the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Simply gorgeous.

"Kat?" I called again, louder this time. She rubs her nose against my neck and settles more comfortably into sleep and I smile at her. "Kathryn, baby?" I move a stray hair out of her eyes and lightly rub her cheek with my thumb before placing a small, delicate kiss on it. I grin then, amused at my own thought. This woman must be able to sleep through an earthquake, so I decide to shout and shake her awake, "Kathryn!"

"What?" she says sleepily, but also not amused. I lean over and place a kiss on her pouting lips. Christ, she's adorable.

"What time is it?" she asks while stifling a yawn.

"It's six, sweetheart."

"What? Oh god." I watch as her eyes grow wide and she scrambles out of bed.

"Why? What's wrong?" I moan as I watch her and decide that there's no way she'll be getting back in with me so I get out and look for a shirt.

"I've got to start learning my lines and all that shit before tomorrow morning, remember? I've to meet up with Kaya... And Maximouse! I forgot about him. Oh God," she repeated.

"Who's Maximouse? And there's no need to rush. I'll give you a lift home." I stand behind where she's tying her hair up. She's like a magnet to me, always pulling me to her wherever she is.

"Maximouse is my deygu." I had to smile at that. Who would name their cat like thing, Maximouse?

"Lily, can I borrow a shirt? And maybe a pair of shorts?" She looks up at me with those large, dark eyes.

"For you, I'd give the moon itself," I reply, kissing the top of her head. She laughs, untangling herself from my arms.

A moment later, and she's dressed in a pair of my black shorts and a baggy T-shirt. They drown her but somehow, she still manages to look adorable. I'm seated on the edge of the bed, already in a new pair of shorts when she turns to me, saying that she's ready to leave.

"Kat, are you free next Saturday?" I ask when she stands in front of me.

"I think so. Why?" Her hands settle on my shoulders, as though she, too, couldn't bear to stop touching me.

"My friend, she's opening a club next Saturday night. I hadn't intended on going, but... would you like to go?"

"Of course." She smiles and places a kiss on my lips, then smacks me on the bum, with a devilish grin on her face. "Now, take me home, Lily!"

* * *

><p><strong>Hope that was ok? I too thought it was too soon for them to be getting together, but then I couldn't resist it. Sorry. However, I think a few of you would have rather enjoyed it!<strong>

**I know that I haven't updated 'The Skins Movie' for a little while, but as this ties in alongside that I couldn't move on as well, Lily and Kat wouldn't have been able to finally get together if they were filming. But I promise you, you _will_ have a new update on it _before _tomorrow as i'm going on holiday... Yes, I did just say that dreaded holiday word. I'm sorry!**

**I'm also going to be spending a few days in Bristol with friends before I fly away, so hopefully i'm going to be inspired a little bit to. So when I get back, I'll have lots of new chapters for both stories for you all...**

**But for now, enjoy! xx**


	11. Back in Bristol

**Kat's POV**

_She's got a smile that it seems to me, Reminds me of childhood memories_

_Where everything was as bright as the bluest sky,_

_Now and then when I see her face, She takes me away to that special place_

_But if I stared too long, I'd probably break down and cry._

I'm sitting back in my seat on a minibus, looking at the scenery going past whilst listening to Taken By Trees version of Sweet Child O' Mine on my iPod. I love the woman's soft voice singing along to the much lighter version of the song and I smile lazily to myself when I feel Lily getting comfy in her sleep. Her head is resting on my shoulder and she moves her arm so it rests lightly across my stomach. She's adorable when she's sleeping and I can't help but watch her whenever she's fast asleep. I somehow manage to pull my gaze from her and look back out of the window.

_Ohhhh, oh, oh, Sweet child o' mine,_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh Sweet love of mine._

_Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place, Where as a child i'd hide_

_And pray for the thunder and the rain, To quietly pass me by._

_And she's got eyes of the bluest skies, As if they thought of rain_

_I'd hate to look into those eyes, And see an ounce of pain..._

I'm lost in my own thoughts that I don't notice Kaya talking to me until I see her waving her hand in front of me. "What the-" I pull out my headphones and face her, confused.

She looks as me, grinning. I'm sure that every time we film Skins, she turns more into her character. She continues to stare and I feel rather paranoid under her gaze. Then she looks down at Lily, sleeping on my side. _Shit. _She looks back and smiles. "You two seem rather cosy."

"What?" I hear Megan and before I know it, she appears next to Kaya. Two little heads above their seats facing me.

"Oh, I was just saying that Loveless and your sister seem very cosy together." She raises an eyebrow at me, knowingly.

"Oh, right, yeah. Whatever." Meg says and disappears behind her seat again, seeming more interesting in her own iPod and magazine.

I hate the way Kaya is staring at me and I feel myself blushing. Me and Lily decided to keep our relationship quiet as i'm not ready to deal with the backlash that it may occur with not only our friends and family, but also our fans. The press aren't always the nicest people in the world when it comes to these sort of things either. I mean, look at what happened to Lindsey Lohan! So we've decided to have some fun and keep it quiet for a little while. We've not been together for a full week anyway.

"You can talk to me, you know Kathryn." She says, her voice gentler this time and lower so Megan doesn't hear her.

I sigh. "There's nothing to talk about." I turn to look back out of the window.

"Sure there isn't. I mean, it's not like you sang a love song to Loveless, ran off to her house. Then went on a date and never returned home the next morning wearing Lil's clothes." I stare at her dumbfounded then she smiles down at Lily, who at that moment decides to snuggle into my side even more. "Not that it's obvious or anything, anyway."

I can't believe what i'm hearing. How on earth does she know that Lily took me on a date? I look down at her and shake my head, of course I know. I look back up to Kaya again.

"Yeah, she told me. She's just looking out for you and you can trust me, Kat. Me and Lil's are both going to be here for you. I'll support you in every way I can."

I smile up to her, sadly, still a little worried. "Thanks, Kay."

She winks, "No worries." She turns back round in her seat and all I can hear is her voice. "Oh and just so you know, I'm slightly jealous of this whole Naomily thing, so feel free to add me into your little shenanigans from time to time."

I look out the window, laughing along with her. "Ugh, Kaya! That's disgusting!" I hear Megan say.

While we're filming The Skins Movie, we all stay at an apartment block in Bristol. It's two to a room the entire week, then we get to head home for the weekends. But sometimes, we're not allowed and have to stay in Bristol. I can only hope, that this time, me and Lily get a room to ourselves. The thought of spending any longer then a week, stuck in the same place with my sister, annoys the hell out of me!

* * *

><p>We managed to sort out our living arrangements for the week and are now finally preparing for shoots for the rest of the day. Me and Lily won't really be seeing each other the entire week as the director is wanting to focus more on the Cook storyline and there's little Naomily in it, which means, less time with Lily. I've hardly spent time with her this morning as it is and I haven't even had a chance to talk to her about what Kaya said.<p>

As the director goes through everything with me, Jack and Kaya, I start finding it a little hard to concentrate as I spot Lily sitting in the corner, reading her script. I see her grinning and bite her lip at what she's reading. If only we were rehearsing _that_ scene! I clear my throat and turn my back on her and try to focus on what's being said to us.

After a few more minutes, I still have no clue what the director is saying and I slyly glance over my shoulder towards Lily again. Her hand is on the back of her neck and I'd give anything to be that hand, right now. I'd feel her soft skin and let my hand wander down her chest. I can almost imagine her relax under my touch and hear her own breath quicken.

"You ok, Kathryn?" The director asks.

I suddenly feel myself blush at my own thoughts and hope that no one can mind read. I turn back round to face him and clear my throat. "Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah i'm fine." Kaya raises an eyebrow at me, grinning her head off. I lower my face so no one can see me, hoping that it's not as red as my hair.

When everyone faces the director again, I take one last look at Lily, only be be met by those bright, blue eyes. I can't help but grin at her as she winks at me.

"Kathryn!" I jump and spin round to face the director. Both Kaya and Jack are laughing their heads off at me. I must look like a naughty schoolchild right now. "Will you please concentrate? It's very important that we get this right."

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and nudge Kaya, whose still laughing slightly. "Of course. Sorry."

He continues to stare at me for another minute and then starts talking again. I instantly feel myself starting to switch off again. "Sorry." He stops and stares at me, unimpressed. "Can I go toilet, please? I promise that when I come back you'll have my whole, undivided attention." I smile at him, hoping he'll buy my story. He sighs and finally lets me go. I thank him and hurry away, but I slow down just enough to give Lily a little mysterious look as I walk past her and disappear off to the toilets.

It's not long until Lily comes rushing in and I laugh when she instantly grabs me and pushes me up against a wall, wearing that all too familiar smirk on her face. "And there was me thinking you wouldn't come and see me." I say, still laughing slightly, whilst resting my hands on her neck, just how I imagined earlier.

She smiles, "Yeah well, I couldn't quite concentrate for some reason."

"Me neither." I whisper as she leans in and kisses me. She soon asks my permission by slightly biting my lower lip. I gladly let her and open my mouth, enjoying the feel of her inside of my mouth as I drop my hands and gently caress her skin under her shirt. I smile as Lily moans into the kiss.

Without breaking the kiss, I switch our positions so she's now the one up against the wall, and my hands slide into Lily's trousers only to find that she's already wet. I pull back and look at her, with an eyebrow raised. I'm about to say something when there's a knock on the door.

"Kathryn? We need you back on set now."

"Y-Yeah, yeah ok, I'm just coming!" I shout to make sure the runner doesn't come in and see's us.

Lily raises an eyebrow, rather amused at my choice of words. I bite my lip and start doing the button's up on her shirt for her before leaning in to give her one last kiss. She takes my hand as we slowly walk towards the door. "Think we need to move Kaya in with Megan tonight, so we can finish this off later."

"Couldn't agree with you more." I say, smirking.

She smiles and steals a kiss and lets go of my hand. She giggles and wipes a smudged lipstick mark off of my face. "Ok, all good." She opens the door, "Let's go, kitty Kat."

I stand in the doorway, surprised and raise an eyebrow as I watch her disappear down the corridor. "Kitty Kat?" I say, not amused one bit.

* * *

><p>I come rushing down the corridor and rush into mine and Lily's room. She texted me earlier in the evening to say that she managed to kick my sister out. Although apparently she did have to bribe her with magazines and a rather large cookie. "You'll never guess what!" I shout, rather excitedly.<p>

Lily almost falls off the bed that she's sitting on from my not so great entrance through the door. She throws an arm out to steady herself whilst her other hand touches her beating heart. "Fuck, babe! What? You gave me a bleedin' heart attack!"

I giggle at the sight of her and close the door behind me then make myself over to the bed. "Sorry, gorgeous." I say, placing a single kiss on her lips and sit on the bed just opposite her, folding my legs underneath me.

"Fuck it, it's ok." She says as she picks up her script that she was reading but dropped when I barged in. "Sooo, what's this big news of the century that's so important, you have to almost kill me at the same time, then?" She frowns as I take the script from her hands and turn it to the right page, a huge grin on my face. I turn it back round so she can see it but she just raises an eyebrow at me, confused.

I roll my eyes, "That!" I point to the scene and remain quiet as she reads it through.

"What about it? We've read and re-read this over and over." Then, suddenly it _seems_ like the penny has dropped. "Oh no, uh uh, no. I'm not rehearsing this with you again, Kathryn! You should know it by now anyway."

I laugh at her, getting slightly impatient. "Nooo! Read the start of shot 5 again."

She sighs and reads it out. "Emily rushes out of the house with Naomi and gets onto the moped. Naomi says, "Be careful, won't you?" Whilst checking the bike over quickly. "It still looks like a death trap!" Emily slaps her arm-"

"Nooo." I say again, interrupting her. "Read the next shot, that was shot 4!"

Lily stares at me, "We been over this scene, like, a hundred times now. Just tell me?" She puts on her puppy dog eyes look. I bite my lip as she tries on her charm and I shake my head. Then she leans over me with that sexy grin that she knows turns me on, and I fall back onto the bed as she hovers above me, her elbows holding her up on either side of me.

Lily looks down at my lips whilst subconsciously licking hers and looks back up into my eyes. Hers having already gone a shade darker. "Please?" I gulp out loud and shake my head again, unable to speak. She leans down and captures my lips with hers. Her lips are soft and i'm about to pull her in deeper when she pulls back slightly. "You know," She starts, while stroking my cheek softly with her thumb, "We've got a little something to finish off from earlier..."

My hands travel to her back and onto her soft, warm skin under her shirt. "But... i've got something to tell you." I say, already quite breathless.

She smirks, "So, tell me."

I sigh, I wanted to hear her bizarre and hilarious guesses, but then, right now, that doesn't seem very important. I've got something _a lot _better on my mind. "Ok."

She laughs gently, knowing that she's managed to catch me out. She knows that I always try and make people guess for as long as possible, no matter how excited I might be.

She leans down again and places a small kiss on my nose and giggles when I rub it with my hand. "You know... you fall _far _too easily."

"You should know, _lover_." I say, stroking her back again, grinning at her.

"Hm, I should." She steals another kiss. "So, come on then. Tell me."

I groan, "Somehow, something else seems a little bit more important right now, Lily." I moan but put a hand round her neck and pull her even closer by putting a finger through a belt loop of her trousers.

Lily falls down on top of me completely and laughs, "Well, you should have thought about that _before _you started teasing me with your world breaking news, shouldn't have you?"

"Ok, ok." I smile up at her and get excited again. "I'm doing my own stunt!"

Lily looks surprised and stops stroking my side under my top. I miss her touch already. "Don't stop," She starts stroking again. "In shot 5? My double does a stunt on the moped but I asked if I could do it myself." I say, rather pleased with myself. "I've always wanted to do my own stunts."

She sits up and I groan, missing the feeling and closeness of her. "You done what?"

"I asked if I could do the stunt myself and they agreed. It's not much and the stunt co-ordinator will show me how to do it properly." I stay where I am, laying on the bed as I watch her get up, off the bed.

She turns round to face me, a worried look on her face. "It could go all wrong though, Kat. I don't want to see you get hurt."

I sit up on the edge of the bed and grab her hand to reassure her. "Honey, it won't go wrong. It's just a little stunt, that's all."

She lets go of my hand, clearly getting upset. "Just a little stunt?" I stand up and turn her round to face me, stroking her arms to calm her down a little. "Jesus, Kat! The last time you done a stunt you almost fell off the fucking rooftop for real! Those tears Naomi cried weren't fake either. That was all me, Lily, crying my eyes out 'cause I was shit scared that the wind would blow you off the fucking ledge."

I bite my lip, but let her continue, even though I know she's getting herself worked up. "It's not just a little stunt, Kathryn. You spin off down a dark road on your bike and have to almost fall off the fucking thing, because of an on coming car. I've only just got you... please don't let me see you get hurt and let someone else do it for you instead."

I pull her into a hug and stroke her back. "I'll be ok, sweetheart." I whisper into her ear. "I've always wanted to do a stunt on the moped but they always got my double to do it. They wouldn't ever let me ride down a poxy street before, but now they're letting me do this." I pull back and look at her in the eye. "If they didn't think it was safe for me to do, then they wouldn't let me. But they are."

Lily looks at me for a while then finally nods her head. "Well, you make sure you're careful and don't let them make you do anything that you're not 100 per cent happy with, ok? Oh, and make sure you wear your helmet, goggles and other safety shit."

I laugh, "Yes, mum."

She smiles, "I'm sorry. I'm happy for you, really I am. But, I just worry too. I just don't like the thought of you getting hurt. That's all." I continue to stare at her.

_Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place, Where as a child i'd hide_

_And pray for the thunder and the rain, To quietly pass me by._

_And she's got eyes of the bluest skies, As if they thought of rain_

_I'd hate to look into those eyes, And see an ounce of pain..._

"I know." I say as I pull her in for another hug. "I'll be ok... I'll have you there with me, won't I?"

I feel her smile and kiss the top of my head. I really can't wait to start filming tomorrow! It's going to be the best day ever..._  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Hellooo, I cannot believe i've just wrote a few chapters whilst on holiday! However, I do feel that this one is a little bit shitty, and quite possibly all over the place. And for that i'm sorry. I couldn't quite think properly as I wrote this AFTER the next chapter where there's a lot of emotion and a few people are going to hate me for it... <em>iwetta <em>kind of knows what's going to happen but for the rest of you, it's going to be a BIG, BIG shock.**

**Again, i'm sorry for this chapter but I hope the next one will be ok and that one will be posted up later today as the internet here is doing my head in. Please leave a review about the next chapter to let me know if I made you cry...**

**...Because I almost did... :'(**


	12. Tragedy strikes

**WARNING: You may cry at this... I honestly had tears in my eyes whilst writing it! So I apologise now x**

Numbness. That's all I feel. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just... numb.

Kaya sits down and wraps her arms around me, stroking my wet hair to help calm me. Doesn't she know that, that's not going to help me? I look around the room and see everyone's sad faces. Grown men holding the girls together. Others giving me that sad smile to let me know that they understand what i'm going through as if this has happened to them before. Or they do it because they don't know what else to do.

I put my head in my hands to block them all out. But it doesn't help. Every time I close my eyes, it replays over and over in my head, right before my eyes. The tears begin to fall again. I open them only to see the blood on her hoodie, that i'm wearing. There's _so _much blood.

Megan bends down in front of me, her eyes are red raw from crying, and takes my hands in hers. She stares at the dried blood cracked on them and takes a deep breath. She looks back up at me and wipes a tear from my cheek, a slight smile on her face. "She'll be ok. You just wait and see."

I look at her and can't believe how brave she's being. I turn to face Kaya who slowly nods her head, but the tears are slowly rolling down her face. She quickly pulls me into a hug and I close my eyes to stop my own from falling.

But the images race back in front of me again, and I can't shake them off.

* * *

><p><em>I'm pissing myself laughing. "If you could see yourself now, you muppet!"<em>

_"What?" Kat says, looking at me confused with her hands on her hips._

_"You look like a twenty-first century Evel Knievel. You know that famous stuntman on the motorbike? All you need now is a little, white cape!" Her face is hilarious and I laugh even harder._

_She fixes her helmet and goggles, not amused. "You're not funny."_

_I clear my throat to try and stop myself laughing. "I'm sorry, baby."_

_She pouts her lips making her look even more adorable in her little helmet and goggles and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from pulling her to me and into a kiss, in front of the entire crew._

_I then grow serious. "Are you sure you don't want your double to do it for you? She's rode the moped plenty of times before, for you."_

_She looks over her shoulder at a small woman, with a red wig in her hands, ready if Kat decides to pull out at any time. She then turns back round to face me, shaking her head, smiling. "Nope, i'm fine. I really want to do this."_

_I smile. It took me all night and all of today to convince myself that she'll be ok. But I put on a brave face. "Ok, you're the boss."_

_She laughs and looks up at the night sky just as it starts to rain. "Great." I'm about to say something when she turns round to face me again, pointing a menacing finger but grinning never the less. "Don't even think about saying anything. The tyre's will be perfectly fine on the wet road."_

_I grin at her and pull her into a hug. "Course they will. I wasn't even thinking about it, hun."_

_I kiss her on the head and let her go just the director walks over to us. "Ok, we're ready for you both now. Lily, you can go and get into position." He turns to face Kat. "Kathryn, the stunt co-ordinator just wants to go over everything with you for one last time, then we'll be ready to start filming."_

_We start to walk away and I lean down to whisper in her ear. "You'll be fine, love you." She grins at me and I wink at her as she walks away._

_I'm left standing by the front door thinking how fucking unbelievable the weather has to be. It's completely pissing it down with rain and i'm sure it's going to turn into a full blown thunderstorm. Not good when you have to film in it, soaking wet._

_After a few more minutes, we're both waiting for the director to start the scene. I can't help but smile at her. She really does look rather cute in her little goggles... and wet! Wow. She catches me looking and nudges my shoulder, "Stop pervin' you." I'm about to say something to her again when suddenly the director shouts 'Action' and she runs away from me. It knocks me back to what we're doing and I run after her._

_"Be careful, won't you?" I say whilst 'checking' the bike over, quickly. "It still looks like a death trap!"_

_She slaps me on the arm and it does actually hurt. "Oi! It's perfectly fine. Now go inside and wait, incase he shows up here. I'll see you later."_

_She gives me a quick kiss on the lips and I wish that we weren't filming so I could make the kiss last longer. Kissing Kat in the rain, really does feel electrifying. Then she pulls back and I watch as she starts the moped and spins it round quickly, creating loads of smoke around her. She look's pretty amazing right now._

_All she has to do now is speed off down the dark road and rears off to the left as a fast on coming car drives past her, almost knocking her off. Then she rides off in the darkness to the end of the road and it'll be job done._

_She puts her foot down again and looks over her shoulder at me, one last time. Then she speeds off._

_I'm just about to turn away when I hear the car and I turn back round to watch her, intrigued. She'd only ask if I saw her, rather excitedly, afterwards anyway._

_I watch as the on coming car narrowly misses her._

_I watch as the bike rears off to the left and loses complete control._

_I watch as the bike hits something on the kerb and flips high up in the air._

_I watch as Kat falls off the bike._

_I watch her as her head hits the concrete heavily with one, hard almighty thud._

_I watch as the bike lands on top of her._

_I continue to watch as Kat lays on the floor, not moving._

_I can't move. It feels like it all happened in slow motion and the world has stopped turning. There's an eerily silence all around._

_Suddenly, it's as if someone has flipped a switch and everything starts moving again. I hear shouts and girls screaming whilst someone else calls for an ambulance. I run towards Kat, whose on the floor, still not moving. I shove the bike away from her and bend down to her side, wrapping her in my arms._

_"Kat?" I say, feeling the tears starting to fall from my eyes. I'm vaguely aware of someone else on the other side of her, but I ignore them. "Kat! Kat, look at me!" I gently rock her in my arms. "This isn't funny, open your eyes!"_

_The tears fall freely as I look at her gorgeous face and gently stroke her cheek. "Please Kat, please!" I kiss her forehead softly, "I can't be without you," I say as I pull her into me more, wrapping myself into her to keep her safe and warm. "I've only just got you."_

_I lose all of my senses around me. In that moment, all that matters is my beautiful girl in my arms. The girl that I love with all my heart. The girl who i'd do anything for and spend the rest of my life with. The girl who i'm so lucky to know and love. The girl whose laying motionless in my arms. I feel a hand on my shoulder trying to pull me away. "No!" I hold onto her, not wanting to let her go._

_"Please Kat, baby. I... I love you." I hear the person behind me gasp but I don't care. Right now, it's just me and her._

_Then I release a breath I didn't know I was holding as her beautiful, brown eyes open and I smile the biggest smile I could. More tears streaming down my face._

_She smiles, "I love you too, Loveless." I lean down and kiss her softly on the lips and feel her smile into my touch._

_When I pull back her eyes slowly close for the last time and my walls come crashing down around me._

* * *

><p>Megan wipes another tear from my cheek and sits down next to me, still holding me in her arms. Jack smiles at her sadly, holding Lisa in his own. Everyone trying to be strong for others but clearly scared and upset themselves.<p>

The only sounds in the waiting room is from the annoying ticking clock and the thunder cracking outside with the lightning illuminating the walls, throwing eery shadows across the room.

The door opens and a doctor appears. I didn't think I had any energy left but as he steps inside, I jump up out of my seat. "Is she ok?"

Megan stands up and wraps an arm round me, "Is my sister going to be ok? Is she awake?"

The doctor looks around the room then closes the door behind him. "She's not... dead is she?" I hear Kaya say and I close my eyes, turning into Megan to hold me. Her arms going round me for comfort and holding me close.

"No, Kathryn hasn't died..." I release a sigh of relief.

Megan whispers in my ear, whilst stroking my back, "See, I told you she'd be ok, I told you."

The doctor clears his throat. "Kathryn was very lucky that she didn't suffer from serious back or neck injuries. The impact from the moped hit her with force, but thankfully, she only suffered fractures and a few broken bones and without severely damaging her organs. However..." He clears his throat again and shifts uncomfortably on his feet. "Kathryn did suffer a serious blow to the head and although there is no sign of brain damage, she _is_ in a deep coma. The longer she stays there... the less likely she'll wake up."

I close my eyes not believing what i'm hearing and let even more tears fall. Megan lets me go and stares at the doctor, "But, she's going to wake up sometime, isn't she?"

He looks at her and smiles sadly, "Are your parents here yet, Miss. Prescott?"

Kaya pulls me into a hug, away from the doctor. "Answer my question!" Megan raises her voice, which is full of fear and uncertainty.

"Miss. Prescott, please. I really do think it's for the best if we wait until your-"

"No, you tell me now! Is my sister going to be ok?"

I bury my head further into Kaya's neck, trying to shut everything out. "I love her, Kay. I love her." I whisper into her ear, the tears falling down my face.

She whispers back, "I know you do."

The doctor clears his throat and looks away, then he faces Megan again. "I'm very sorry to be the one to tell you this Miss. Prescott. But if Kathryn doesn't wake up soon, then i'm afraid that there's a very high chance that she'll _never _wake up... I'm really am, very sorry."

I freeze at hearing those words. "She might to die?" I hear Megan say but I can't bear to turn round and see the tears falling from her eyes. I already know that the doctor will be nodding his head at her.

I suddenly clear my throat and turn round to face him, "I need to see her." I wipe the tears from my eyes, "Please, I need to tell her that I..." I start losing control again and squeeze my eyes shut to try and stop the tears from falling yet again.

He smiles at me sadly whilst shaking his head and putting his hands out wide, "Unfortunately, only family or partners are allowed into intensive care. I'm sorry, I know it's a difficult time for you right now, but I cannot allow you to go through there."

"But I need to see her, please! I'm, I'm her..." I close my eyes, not just from the raw emotion but because the room is full of mine and Kat's friends. We decided not to tell anyone about us until she was ready, but it seems that I have to break that to see her again. I just hope that she'll be able to forgive me.

Megan looks up from Lisa's shoulder and reaches for my hand where I let her hold it tight. She looks at the doctor straight in the eye, "Doctor, this is my sister's girlfriend. _Please_, let her see her." I spin round to face her, shocked. How does know?

Ollie walks up to him and smiles sadly, "Doctor, maybe Lily's voice will wake Kat up. Is there not known cases of people coming out of coma's because of a voice or a piece of music they heard?"

The doctor looks at him and smiles. "Yes, there have been a few." He turns back round to face me, then nods his head and opens the door. "Ok, Lily. Follow me."

A huge sigh of relief leaves me and I pull Megan into a hug, "Thank you." Then I whisper in her ear, "How did you know?"

"It's slightly obvious," She whispers back. "And don't worry, it's took me a few years to come round to it." She pulls away to look at me, but still keeps her hands on my arms and smiles "Now, go and give her a hug from me."

I smile at her, tears still falling from both of our eyes. "Thank you."

Lisa pulls me out of my daze, "Tell her we're all here and we're not leaving until she gets her skinny arse out of bed!"

I laugh, which is something I never thought I would be doing anytime soon and smile at her, "Will do." I then wipe my tears, take a deep breath and turn to follow the doctor out of the room.

* * *

><p>The corridor feels like it could go on and on with it's walls closing in on me. My heartbeat's racing at the thought of seeing my gorgeous girl again and all I want to do is see her and end this nightmare. The doctor stops just outside the door and faces me. "I must worn you, Kathryn is connected to many machines and wires but she isn't in any pain. I promise you. If you need anything, press the button on the wall and someone will come."<p>

"Thank you, doctor." I smile at him as he nods, then I watch as he walks away, leaving me on my own in the corridor. I turn back to face the door once again and close my eyes before opening them slowly. I open the door and as soon as i'm inside, I close it before turning round to see the girl I love so much. To the girl that I would so easily swap places with right now if it was possible. I take a deep breath and turn round slowly. A gasp escapes my mouth and my heart clenches at the sight in front of me.

Kat looks so peaceful. Like she's sleeping. But the wires, drips, machines and little beeps make it hard for me to forget what had happened to my beautiful, brown eyed girl. Seeing her sends all the images flashing through my mind again. The moped flipping and Kat flying through the air before landing heavily on the ground. The moped landing straight onto her stomach. I remember running to her side and the blood... _So _much blood. I look down at the hoodie i'm wearing and see the blood still there, tears filling my eyes. I remember holding Kat and my vision becoming blurred because of the tears streaming down my face.

She was so excited by it but why did she have to be so proud of herself and want to do the stunt? Why didn't she just let her double do it for her, like I had asked? Let someone else get hurt. Why didn't they just refuse her in the first place?

I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to block it all out while sitting in the chair next to her bed. I look at her and I take her hand which is so soft, I entwine our fingers which fit perfectly, like we belong together, _always_. I place a kiss on her soft, delicate hand and just the feeling of Kat's skin against mine, makes my heartbeat race. I lean over and kiss her forehead then gently stroke her hair. I sit back down, our hands still connected, like they should always be. _Together_.

"Kat..." My voice is broken from all the crying and screaming i've done in the past 3 hours and I clear my throat. "Kat, it's Lily... I don't know if you can hear me but I..." I look at her and smile, sadly. "Baby... I love you."

I bite my lip and gently stroke her hand. What I would give for her to open her deep, brown eyes and look at me. I've missed them so much. I have to keep talking to her because I know she really needs to wake up. I so want to hear that sexy, husky voice again.

"Everyone's here for you." I smile, "And Lisa says that they're not leaving until you get your skinny arse out of bed." I laugh, gently. "And I think she means it, babe so you better get up. You know what the NHS is like too, they need this bed for the junkies ready in time for the weekend."

I bite my lip again and I cant take my eyes off the bandage thats on the side of her face, where she landed on the road. I feel the tears coming again and clear my throat to stop them. "Seriously, though. Everyones missing you, especially Meg. She's being so brave and strong." I laugh gently, "Hope you know, that the only people allowed to see you are family and partners? You're probably wondering how i'm here, aren't you? But no, don't worry, I didn't punch someone and throw on one of those really horrible, white coats."

"Doubt you'd believe me, I can't quite believe it myself." I smile at Kat, knowing that she's been hiding her feelings for me for so long because she couldn't bear people judging her. And most importantly, what her family, the only people she truly cares about, would think of her. Or what they would do. We've only been together, as a proper couple for only a week, and so to protect what we have, we decided to keep it quiet until Kat was ready. Well, it seems like we done a shit job of keeping it quiet.

"I think we've been outed. It _may _have been my fault for _stupidly_ saying that I loved you in front of everyone but, well, Meg told the doctor that I was your girlfriend. _And_ you'll be glad to hear, she said it without even flinching. Guess she's not like Katie, hey?" I stroke her hair and lean in to whisper in her ear, "So Kat, can I be your official girlfriend now, baby?" I sit back and continue to stare at her, watching her eyes, hoping they'd open but they don't even flinch. The only movement is the lines on the monitor's and a low, beeping sound coming from the heart monitor.

* * *

><p><strong>1 week later...<strong>

A week has passed and Kat still hasn't woke up but i'm not losing hope. One day soon, my beautiful, gorgeous girl will wake up with a huge smile on her face and i'm not going to be there to miss it for the world.

I'm just stepping out of the lift with a huge bunch of her favourite flowers and her favourite teddy that i've brought from home but then I suddenly stop and watch the chaos unravelling in front of me. There's doctor's and nurses rushing in and out of Kat's room with machines and other medical supplies.

"We need a crash cart in room 332 _now_! Her pressures dropping! Where's that nurse? I need that epinephrine, _now_!"

My heart immiedietly stops and I can't move. My legs are rooted to the spot as two nurses come running past with the crash cart and rush into the room.

"Are we clear?" "I'm giving her blood and fluids but it's still dropping!"

I stare at the door and I feel sick but I still can't move as more people rush into the room.

"She's going into cardiac arrest!"

A loud, long beep can be heard and very, very slowly, my legs finally start moving towards Kat's room. I don't feel anything, just numbness as I let my feet carry me to her. My girl is in trouble and I need to be there with her.

"Its not working! _Move_! Get the paddles! Charge to 20! Stand back!"

I stop again, not taking my eyes off the door. I gulp and allow the tears to flow down my face, freely. I don't know what's going on around me and I can only hear the sounds that are coming from inside that one room. And the praying in my head, that she'll come back to me.

"Clear!" "Nothing!"

I take another step closer, then stop again, slowly shaking my head, "No..."

"Charge to 30! Stand back!" "Clear!"

I start walking again. Ever so slowly.

"Nothing!"

As I get closer to the door, a nurse comes rushing out and almost bumps into me. She puts her arms on me and turns me around, "I'm sorry, Miss. But i'm afraid you can't go in there."

I just stare at her, unable to string a single sentence together. Then its goes eerily quiet, the beep of the monitor stops and I slowly turn back round to face the door, for one last time. My vision is blurry as I watch through my tears as a few more nurses walk out of the room, all wearing sad faces.

"Time of death... 14:38"

* * *

><p><strong>I'm actually a little scared to say anything to you lot right now, so i'm just going to disappear. *hands out tissues before going*<strong>


	13. Dead and gone?

**Lily's POV**

"Time of death... 14:38"

I stand just outside the door, not being able to move. The nurses hands are still on my arms trying not to let me into the room, but thats not the only reason why I can't seem to move my legs.

I'm vaguely aware of the tears rolling down my face like a waterfall but I don't care. My beautiful, loving, funny and caring girlfriend has just died. My gorgeous Kathryn has gone. And there's no way that she can come back.

"It's Lily Loveless isn't it?" Somewhere I hear someone talking to me and I just nod my head, not being able to take my eyes off of the door. I slowly take a step forward and put a hand on the door to open it. "No, i'm afraid you can't go in there, Miss. Loveless."

I look at the nurse still holding me back. "But she's in there..." I can just manage to say through my tears. I don't feel anything, only the numbness. "She's needs me..." I look back at the door, my hand still resting on it, shaking. "She'll be cold... She needs me to keep her warm. She'll want a hug..." I smile, sadly. "She likes my hugs, she told me."

The nurse sighs and takes her hands off of my arms. "Miss. Loveless, she's only just-"

I shake my head not wanting to hear what she's going to say and open the door where there's still two doctors and a few nurses talking in the room. One of them stops talking as he turns round and spots me standing in the doorway. I look at him in shock and then I look over to Kathryn, her body covered in a sheet on the bed. "She... She needs me." I say, feeling the tears still pouring down my face and feeling my legs starting to give way from under me.

"Can someone get her out of here!" The doctor shouts and I feel the nurse pull me back out into the corridor.

"No! No, she needs me, don't you understand?" I stare at her, wondering why she doesn't understand as she stands in front of me, trying to stop me from going back in.

"Miss. Loveless! Will you _please _listen to me?" She says it with so much demand and authority in her voice that I just stand there, staring at her in shock.

"Miss. Loveless?" I hear another voice from behind me, a man's voice.

I look over my shoulder and see Kat's doctor standing there, frowning. I wipe my tears, "I brought her flowers and her favourite teddy." I say when I realise that i'm still holding them in my hands.

He smiles a smile so warm that I can't but smile sadly back at him. "Then why don't you go and give them to her then?" He says in a warm, gentle voice.

I frown and look back into the room, the door now open as the nurses start coming out. "Because, because she's..." I can't bring myself to say those terrible words. He looks at me again and looks confused. He looks into the room and back at me, shaking his head. "You said she wasn't in any pain! You promised me!"

"I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't give me the chance." Says the nurse.

The doctor nods his head and smiles sadly. "I understand. Thank you nurse. You can go back to your duties now." She thanks him and heads off down the corridor. The doctor faces me again and puts a hand on my shoulder. I go to shrug it off, not wanting anyone to touch me, but he holds it there firmly. "Miss. Prescott-"

"No!" I say getting angry and throwing his hand off of me. "Don't you dare tell me that she's dea-" I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. "I know she is! I heard it all! I've just saw her with my own fucking eyes, so don't you even think about saying those words to me!"

I'm about to turn around and run away and out of this place so I don't have to hear his evil words, but he quickly grabs me and holds me back. "Miss. Prescott woke up twenty minutes ago, Miss. Loveless." He says, quickly.

I stare at him, trying to make sense of what he's just said. "Wha- What did you just say?" I whisper, not being able to breathe.

He smiles. "Miss. Prescott woke up twenty minutes ago. We've only just got her settled again and were about to call her parents to let them know." I stare at him for what feels like an eternity.

"I think i'm going to be sick." I finally say and lean up against a wall, feeling dizzy.

He rubs my back gently, "We moved her out of that room last night as we started seeing signs of real progress. She's in a stable condition but hasn't woken up properly yet as we like the patients to wake up as naturally as possible. However, we do expect her to be awake within the next hour or so. I can't say what her condition will be like fully as we still need to do a lot of tests, but Miss. Loveless..."

I look up at him feeling a little faint at what i'm hearing. It's too much, too soon to take in. "She's alive and you can go and see her." He smiles and nods down at what i'm somehow still gripping onto. "Why don't you go and give her those? I'm sure she'll like them and like having you there even more when she wakes up."

I laugh gently, not believing what i'm hearing. Some people say that they've been on a roller coaster of hell but I think i've just well and truly ridden it. I've been through every emotion possible, most of the time I didn't feel a thing. But now, now i'm not sure what the hell to feel.

I look at the doctor, laughing a little more and he stands there smiling at me. "She's ok?" I say through my slight laughter. He nods, still smiling. I nod myself, a huge smile on my face. "She's ok."

He starts walking, "Come, follow me." I step away from the wall, smiling and follow him down the corridor to where Kat is. "Don't worry about phoning people. We'll do that for you. You just go and spend some time with your girlfriend." We stop outside a room. "She's very lucky to have someone like you."

I smile at him and look at the door. "I'm very lucky to have her."

He bows his head and takes a step back. "If you need anything... well, you know what to do." And with that, he wonders off.

I look back at the door and I can't help but keep the grin off of my face as I walk into the room, where my girl is very much alive.

She still looks peaceful as I step closer to her, but I know now, that she's almost back. She looks healthier too, less pale and almost back to her normal self. I place the flowers down and I rest her bear onto her bed next to her and smile. She looks like a little girl and I can't help but wish I knew her through her childhood. I'm sure she would have been a rebel of some kind back then, like me. I bite my lip, trying not to laugh, we would have got on.

I sit down and stare at her, taking her hand in my own and I almost jump at the contact. Her skin has become so much warmer. I can't wait for her to open those beautiful, brown eyes.

As I lean back in my chair, I feel my eyes starting to close. Thoughts of me and her together, happy again invade my brain. I haven't slept all week because of what's happened and what would be happening to Kat on her own in the hospital. Not knowing was the worst.

So I finally let sleep take over me, knowing that my gorgeous girl is ok. A small smile on my face as I nod off to dreams filled of red. Not of blood this time. Of the most amazing redhead I know. The one who is sleeping next to me, holding my hand.

* * *

><p>I wake up to a room, strangely familiar and look at my hand in someone else's and I smile sleepily. I feel the sleep calling me back but just as i'm about to shut my eyes again, I see it. A thumb, softly stroking my hand. I continue to stare at it, thinking i'm dreaming. The more I look, the more I know that I can't be dreaming. When you dream, you don't feel anything. But I definitely feel the soft hand caressing my own. I frown but a huge smile starts growing on my face.<p>

I _very _slowly move my head and look along her body and stop _just _at her neck. I swallow and take a deep breath while closing my eyes. I slowly open them and I finally look up towards Kat, tears falling down my cheeks as I finally see those brown eyes boring into my blue ones.

"Took you long enough." She says, her voice croaky and wearing a big smile on her face, matching mine.

* * *

><p><strong>And you lot thought she was dead, tut tut.<strong>

**It was just a quick update to put you all out of your misery!**

**Thank you for all the reviews and filling my inbox with PMs, and i'm sorry for making you all cry (especially _Andreathewriter,_ because she read it twice and _still _managed to make herself cry the second time!) but I couldn't help it.**

**I _did _get the idea from another fic but I can't find it again to thank the person. However, I played around with it a heck of a lot, threw in a part from my other fic and added a lot, _lot_ more emotion. My Kat also wakes up real too and isn't a ghost...**

**Not yet anyway. She is still in hospital after all, so things may not go smoothly. Wonder what the results could be, internal bleeding perhaps...**


	14. Give it time

**Kat's POV**

Lily is sitting on the edge of my bed, her hand on my forehead, looking slightly worried while Megan is putting clean clothes and toiletries into the bed side cabinet. I raise my eyebrow up at Lily and rest my hand on her wrist, smiling. "I'm ok, honest." She doesn't look too convinced.

Just then, the doctor walks in. "So, how is she?" He says as he picks up the chart off the end of the bed.

"Nurse Loveless has been great, doctor. Couldn't have asked for anyone better." I say, a cheesy grin on my face as she slaps me gently on the arm but smiling. "She's being paranoid over everything though. Checking on me every few minutes, making sure everyone has been washing their hands in the alcohol gel... The list could go on, doctor."

I try not to laugh at the face she's pulling. She goes to try and defend herself but the doctor cuts in, smiling just as much as me though. "Then, she'll also know not to sit on patient's beds then, won't she?"

Me and Megan can't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing when she soon jumps off the bed. "Oh my God! I didn't think! I could have passed all sorts onto you. I'm so sorry." She looks worried as she sits down on the chair.

The doctor shakes his head whilst laughing slightly. "Ok." He says as he looks up at me whilst placing the chart back. "How have you been feeling, Miss. Prescott?"

Lily goes to answer for me but I put a hand on her arm to shut her up. I know she's been worried for me but I just hope she realises soon that i'm feeling fine. "I'm fine. I have a slight headache but apart from that, I seem ok. Well, besides the pain from my ribs and arms that is."

He nods his head again. "You did suffer a severe traumatic brain injury and so the headaches will be coming from that. However, if the headaches get worse or don't go away, then you'll need to let someone know straight away. The same if you have any other symptoms such as feeling dizzy, nauseated, a numb and weakness feeling, feeling restless or agitated along with a having a slurred speech. But i'm sure you have plenty of people keeping an eye on you." He says as he looks at both Lily and Megan.

"Have the tests came back yet?" Lily asks.

He smiles, "That's exactly why i'm here."

Megan sits down next to Lily. "Will you be letting my sister home?"

He nods his head at me just as my mum walks back into the room from getting herself some water. "Good news, Miss. Prescott. The CT scan has come back all clear and you're free to go home."

Mum gets over excited and almost spills her drink. "Oh, that's wonderful news!"

"You _must _however, have complete bed rest for the first few days. No rushing around, take steady steps. And you must have plenty to eat and drink. You cannot return back to work for a while yet, and therefore, you should go to your doctor every second week for a certificate to give to your employer until he is completely satisfied that you can return to work. When he decides that you are well enough, he will strongly urge you that you must remain on light duties and possibly start again under part time hours until you build up your strength again."

The relief washes through me, I can't wait to get out of this hospital and out of this room, back into the real world again.

I smile as Lily takes my hand in her. "Thank you, doctor. You've been amazing."

Lily looks equally relieved as me and Megan. Mum rest's her hand on my arm. "Oh, thank you doctor. That's great news."

"You're welcome. A nurse will be through to give you your leaving medication, some of which will have to be renewed with your doctor with a new prescription once you have used up the correct dosage. Once she's done with you, she'll check you over once more and then you'll be free to go after we've discharged you." He turns to face my mum."Make sure she stays in a calm, relaxed environment. If you worry about her condition or symptoms arise, then you _must _phone your local GP straight away. But, I think she's on the road back to recovery." He faces me again and smiles. "You'll be ok from now on, Miss. Prescott. As long as you stay away from mopeds in the future, along with other stunts, that is."

"I'll be making sure she stays well clear!" Lily says.

He winks and me and smiles, "You take care, Miss. Prescott." Then he walks out the door.

"Yay! My big sis is coming home." Megan says whilst hugging me tight, happily.

"Do you mind?" I say, trying to untangle myself. "I can't breathe."

She lets go and sits back down next to Lily, with a huge grin on her face, "Sorry, I'm just happy that's all."

I'm about to say something to Lily when mum stops me by talking. "That's such good news, isn't it darling?"

I put my hand in hers. "It sure is." I say, smiling. "Lily, is it ok if I sta-"

Mum interrupts me. "Why don't you start getting dressed, hunny. That nurse should be here soon. Megan, go and ask for a bag, so she can put all of her things in it for me, please." Megan gets up happily and goes out in the corridor in search of one.

I face Lily again, who i'm sure is trying to get rid of the huge grin that's on her face, but is failing miserably. And I smile at her adorable, goofy face. "Lily, is it ok if-"

Mum clears her throat and starts talking again. I look at her, getting rather pissed off at her way of stopping me from talking to Lily. "I should go and phone your brother so he can sort your bedroom out and get the place ready for you. I'll then send him and your sister out to get some food in for you too."

I roll my eyes, getting impatient with her. "Mum-"

"Oh, and some more magazines, i'm sure you'll be getting rather fed up of reading them soon, though. And maybe-"

"Mum!" She stops and looks at me, Lily frowns, looking just as confused. "Will you just stop and listen to me. I want to stay with Lily. That's what i've been trying to ask her."

She stands just starring at me and I raise my eyebrow at her, "What?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing. It's just that Lily is going to be busy with filming and someone needs to take care of you. She might not even want you there."

I look at her, shaking my head. Lily clears her throat to be heard and my mum turns round to face her, crossing her arms, not looking very impressed. "I'd love to have Kathryn stay with me. And yes, you're right, I _will_ be working but i'll make sure she'll be taken care of when I _am _there. Besides, she's not exactly a two year old who needs babysitting constantly and you and the rest of the family are more then welcome to come round at _any _time. I promise. It broke my heart seeing her like she was before and so i'll do _everything_ I can not to see her hurt or in pain ever again. I won't let _anything_ bad happen to her from now on. I'm going to look after her and be there for her... always. So, if it's what Kat wants, then i'm more then happy for her to stay."

I can't help but let the huge smile spread across my face at her words and my heart melts. She winks at me as she takes hold of my hand, softly stroking it with her thumb.

Mum looks down at our hands and quickly turns away. "Where on earth has your sister got to?" And then she storms out of the room.

I sigh and lean my head back, fighting the tears from falling. I hear Lily stand and sit closer to me, her hand still in mine. "You know, I heard _everything_."

"What do you mean, you heard everything?" I look at her and see her confused face starring back at me.

I smile, sadly. "Everything you said... when I was in the coma." She looks surprised and tries to talk but no words come out. I smile sadly whilst remembering. "I tried to move, to let you know that I could hear you but it was like there was some sort of force, tying me down. It was black and it sounded like I was in a tunnel... But I could hear you." I look back at her and see the tears forming in her eyes.

"Baby..." She says quietly, whilst quickly wiping a tear away with her sleeve.

I bite my bottom lip, "I was scared." She tightens her grip on my hand. "But I was also really frustrated because I knew that you were just as scared of something terrible happening, yet I could hear you and all it took was for me to say one word or do one small thing for you to know that I was ok." I clear my throat and smile at her. "I heard you say you loved me."

"I _do _love you." She smiles back at me.

"I also heard my mum." Lily stops smiling and frowns at the sudden change of conversation. "One day, You said you loved me." You could tell that she was trying her best to remember the day and I can't help but smile at her thoughtful face. "You said you loved me but then my mum came into the room and started having a go at you." She closes her eyes as the realisation dawns on her and she gulps loudly. "I'm sorry she was like that with you. I'm sorry I couldn't stop it."

She strokes my hand and shake's her head. "It wasn't your fault."

"But she had no right!" I sigh, feeling myself getting angry all over again. "You're my girlfriend and she had no right to say those horrible things to you. She's my mum, if anything, she should have helped you get through this. Not go against you and make you feel even more shit."

"It was ok. I had a chat with her again. A more _sensible_ one when we were leaving the hospital."

I shake my head. "But it's not the point though, Lily. And look at her now. She just left the room because she still can't face me and you together. What kind of mother does that?"

Lily sits on the edge of the bed and softly strokes my cheek with her thumb. "Hey, don't get so worked up about it, hun. It'll take time and we can get through this... together. It'll be hard, but she'll soon get over it. It's probably still shock... Just give her time."

I look down and play with her hand with mine. "And what about Ben? My own brother hasn't came to see me since i've been here."

She place a finger on my chin and tilts my head up so I can look at her. "It'll take time."

I sigh and shake my head again. "And I bet the press are having a field day."

"Fuck 'em," She says, shrugging her shoulders. "It's got nothing to do with them. They may try and stir some shit up, but it'll just be to sell papers. That's all they think of, is how to make money. They'll probably try and make out that we're bad and horrible or whatever crappy bollocks they decide to make up about our relationship. But most of the people who'll read it will either be people who don't give a shit about us two, or it'll be our fans. _And _may I add, the majority of those fans absolutely _love _Naomily, so they'll fucking love us! They won't give two shits about what they papers are saying because they're loyal." She laughs, slightly. "In fact, the press may have to watch out. If they write something that the fans don't like, then it'll be them they'll have to worry about, not us!"

I laugh with her and she smiles. "See, that's better. It's nice to see you laughing again." She strokes my cheek with her thumb again. "Let's take this a step at a time, hey? Deal with you're mum first, yeah? And don't worry about anything else. I'll be here for you too... flatmate." She winks and I slap her arm whilst trying not to laugh.

"Ok." I say whilst nodding my head.

She grins, "Good." And then leans down to kiss me but soon jumps back and sits back down in the chair before she gets a chance to as my mum and sister walk back into the room.

"You're not even dressed yet?" Screeches Megan as she walks in, holding a plastic, hospital bag in her hand. "What the hell have you been doing?" She looks at Lily who is clearing her throat. Probably in an attempt to calm herself down from almost being caught kissing me in front of my mum. "You know what? Don't even ask that!" She says, looking rather disgusted as she starts putting things into the bag.

Mum shakes her head "Megan!" Lily tries not to laugh at the situation and I smile at her.

"Mum?" I say and she comes and sits on the bed next to me. "I know you probably don't agree with me and Lily but-"

"Oh, darling," She cuts me off as she moves some hair out of my face. "I'm fine about it, honestly. Your sister has spoken to me and i'm ok. It's a bit of a shock but I should have noticed something was developing between you two earlier. If I was fine and supported you when you were pretending to be gay in a programme, then i'm sure i'll be alright with the fact that you're that way in real life too." She turns and looks at Lily and smiles. "And Lily is a lovely, young girl. You couldn't have anyone better for you."

I smile back at her, i'm not too convinced but at least she's not mad with me. "Thank's mum."

"Now," She says as she clears her throat and steps away from the bed. "You better get dressed, it'll soon be time for you to go... And Lily needs you home, doesn't she?"

I get out of bed and hug her. "Thank you, mum. I know it'll be hard for you, but Lily really is perfect." I look at Lily over my mums shoulder and smile at her as she winks back at me.

"I know she is." Mum says as she pulls back. "Now come on, we havn't got all day and the press will be trying to get through the door and succeeding at this rate."

"The press?" I ask, frowning.

Megan nods, "Yeah, they've been here ever since you came in. They've not left the place. It's like a mad circus down there."

I look at Lily, a little scared. She smiles back and whispers. "It'll be ok."

I take a deep breath and start to get dressed, preparing for the mayhem that i'll be walking into.

* * *

><p>I'm laying on the couch with a blanket keeping me warm, whilst balancing my laptop on me. I'm going through fan's questions that they have left me to answer on my website and as I didn't have time to answer them before, I'm doing so now.<p>

_"Cat or dog?"_

_Maybe Cat's, purely because they outnumber by dog._

_"By air, land or sea?"_

_LAND - I'm terrified of flying._

_"Lily or Naomi?"_

I look over at Lily whose reading through her scripts on the other sofa and I can't help but smile as she laughs at what she's reading.

_Lily._

_"Beer or wine?"_

_Beer._

I look out of the corner of my eye and see Lily's glass of wine on the table and bite my lip. She knows I hate wine and that I can't drink whilst on medication so she decided to only have wine in the house to stop me from wanting to drink. I'm seriously thinking about changing my previous answer to Naomi now too.

"Stop eyeing up my drink, you." Lily says as she grins at me whilst picking up the glass. I move my legs to allow her to sit next to me and I rest them back on her lap. She looks at my laptop, frowning. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing." I say, sighing as I close the lid down, "Just updating my site, seeing as i've been neglecting it for a while." I look at her and smile, placing my hand in hers. "Think I might go to bed, it's getting late and I'm knackered."

She laughs, "Knackered? You've been doing fuck all, all week. Well, apart from laying there staring at me when i'm home that is."

I slap her on the arm, gently. "Yeah, well, it's tiring doing nothing all day... waiting for my sexy girlfriend to come home and join me on here." I tap the sofa and grin at her, raising my eyebrow.

"Oh, really?" She puts her glass back onto the table, along with the laptop. "And what _do_ you dowhilst i'm out of the house, hm?" She grins back as she sits back, slightly closer this time.

I look as if to be thinking, "Oh, you know. I think about you..."

She bites her lip and leans even closer, "And what about those thoughts?" Her lips are almost touching mine and I put my arms around her neck, pulling her so she's almost on top of me. "Care to share what happens?"

"Hm, why don't I just show you?" I pull her down further and kiss her softly on the lips.

"I think that would be a great idea." She says and slowly lowers herself on top of me fully, taking my lips in hers.

I smile into the kiss and it's not long before it's intensifies and i'm moaning as she slips her tongue into my mouth. My hands make their way up her back under her top and slowly down towards the curve of her bum.

"I think we should take this somewhere, a little more cosy." I say, breathless already.

She smiles, "Yet another great idea." She picks me up and I wrap my legs around her as she carries me to her bedroom, not once breaking away from the sweet kiss we share.

* * *

><p>I wake the next morning to find Lily fast asleep, looking adorable as always. I lay and watch her for a while, whilst taking in the sheer beauty of the gorgeous, naked girl next to me. I somehow manage to pull myself away from her and get up, throwing on one of her shirts on purpose, knowing that I drive her crazy every time I wear it.<p>

As I put the kettle on to make us some coffee, I wonder over to my laptop and start checking my emails. I soon wish I hadn't.

I'm not sure how long I sit there reading them. Not sure how long I then read the news clippings online either. I feel sick.

"Goooood morning, gorgeous." I turn to face Lily who bends down and places a soft kiss on my lips. She wraps her arms round me and I fall back into her embrace on the sofa.

"Morning." I say whilst closing the lid on my laptop before she see's anything.

"What's wrong?" I look up at her and see her worried face and I smile back at her.

"Nothing, come here, you." I kiss her softly on the mouth again but she pulls back.

"There's something wrong, sweetheart." She gently strokes my cheek with her thumb and I feel the tears in my eyes.

"I..." I shake my head and clear my throat. "I've just made coffee," I say and stand up, walking towards the kitchen, "You should start getting ready for work. Wouldn't want you to be late and getting into trouble." I boil the kettle again and start preparing the coffee.

Lily walks up behind me. "What aren't you telling me, babe?"

I stop and close my eyes. "Nothing. Everything's fine." I turn round to face her, putting on a brave face and I smile. "Now go get under that shower, you stink."

She stays, watching me closely. "If this is about not being able to come back to work, then it's ok. You're recovering quicker then they expected and you know that they told you that you'll be back next month. Or if it's about being stuck in here all day by yourself then i'm sure your mum or someone-"

"Lily!" I say to stop her from carrying on. "I'm ok, now go. You'll be late." I turn back to keep myself busy with making the coffee's. I notice that she's still not moved and I look over my shoulder at her to find her staring at me, chewing her bottom lip. I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Ok," She sighs and turns away. "Don't make my coffee too strong." She says over her shoulder as she walks back into the bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

I release a shaky breath and lean against the counter, closing my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling again. After a few moments, I open them and look over at my laptop and sigh. As I pour the boiling water into the cups, I look out the window and see the paparazzi still sitting outside. Since I've came out of hospital, they haven't left me alone and I'm not sure how much more I can take. The hatred they create is unreal.

I sit down at the kitchen table and sip my drink. I look back over towards my laptop and shake my head. It's then that I decide on what I need to do. I just hope Lily understands and will forgive me.

* * *

><p>"Lily, I think we should... I think we should..." I bite my lip and look away from her, tears filling my eyes.<p>

"Kat?" She takes a step closer and goes to put her hand on my arm, her face worried, but I step further away, shaking my head.

"I think we should end things." She stops dead, staring at me as if i've grown two heads. "Just for a bit!" I say quickly, trying to reassure her. "I don't want to but I just need some time. I need time to think and get myself sorted. I love you, of course I love you, I always have it's just," I close my eyes, the tears now falling freely from my cheeks. "I just can't deal with all of this at once and I need to be by myself. Sort out my family first and deal with the press. I hate what they're trying to do, _all _of them. I just need to be myself for a while. I'm so sorry."

I turn and walk over to the door, leaving Lily by the table, not moving. "I already got my mum to take my things back home earlier, I just wanted to wait until you were home." She turns round to face me, crying silently. "I'm sorry. Sorry for everything."

As i'm putting my hand onto the door handle, she comes over to me and I turn back round to face her. "I don't want you to go."

I shake my head, wishing she won't make it any harder for me, then it already is. "Lily, I need to."

She nods her head, "I know." She whispers through her tears. She takes a deep breath, "I know, but I also know how hard this has been for you so, i'll wait... for you. Until you're ready to face up to everything. I won't go anywhere, i'll be right here, so take as long as you need." I smile sadly at her. "Promise me you won't leave it too long?"

"I promise." I manage to say through my tears.

She smiles through her own tears and slowly leans forward, placing a small, soft kiss on my lips. She stays where she is for a moment as she whisper's in my ear. "I love you."

I look into those blue eyes I love so much. "I love you too."

The sweet smell of her overwhelm my senses along with the heartbroken look she's wearing, which i've caused and it suddenly becomes all too much at once and I need to get out of the room. I open the door and walk out. Walk out of the woman I love so much but I know it's for the best. As soon everything settles down back at home and the press stop raking things up, then i'll be back. And when I come back, I won't be going anywhere. It'll be me and the most amazing girl I love, forever.

As the door slowly shuts behind me, I smile sadly. One step at a time, by next week, i'll be back with her and everything will be amazing again.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

It's been _three_ weeks since Kat decided to end things between us until she sorts her head out. I thought I'd give her the time she needs, knowing that it can't be easy for her but now I feel so stupid for letting her do it. Now, I feel like i've let her walk away from me so easily.

I tried talking to her but she never answered her phone. I resorted to leaving her emails but to no reply. And every time I went to her house, her mum refused to let me see her, let alone set a single foot on the doorstep. As for Megan? Nope, it's like she's disappeared off the face of the earth too. She hasn't even been turning up to work.

To say i'm confused, pissed off and upset is an understatement. Hence why i'm drinking myself into an oblivion with my music blaring away.

_If you can find the time _  
><em>To give your love to me <em>  
><em>I will wait for you <em>  
><em>If that's all you need...<em>  
><em>If you can find the time<em>  
><em>If ever you're free<em>  
><em>Just drop me a line <em>  
><em>And tell me where you'll be...<em>  
><em>I'll be right here <em>  
><em>If you can find the time <em>  
><em>Just be, sincere <em>  
><em>If you can find the time<em>  
><em>I will wait for you...<em>

My phone rings and I glance down to it, my heart slumps even more when I see it's only my ex. "Hey... Yeah, i'm ok... What? Now?... Er, yeah, yeah ok... See you in a minute, then... Alright, bye."

I hang up and smile at the thought that Ben wants to take me out after everything i've put him through. I bite my lip whilst staring into the contents of my glass. I always had something for him, the feeling's weren't as strong with him as they were with Kat but, well, she's not here now, is she? And, he is pretty good looking. AND he was a _very_ good boyfriend...

I sigh and drink down the rest of my drink. "Fuck it."

I stand up and walk over to the mirror, quickly rubbing down the sides of the clothes i'm in and play with my hair when there's a loud knock on the door. I smile happily and go to open the door, stumbling and laughing a little as I realise i'm more drunk then I first thought. I bite my lip at the sight of him and I can't help but let him take my hand as I quickly grab my bag and walk out of the door with him.

_But if you can't find the time_  
><em>Then cut me loose <em>  
><em>Cause I don't have the time <em>  
><em>And I don't have the patience <em>  
><em>What do you take me for? <em>  
><em>Why am I still waiting? <em>  
><em>Cause while you decide <em>  
><em>I'm fucking suffocating<em>  
><em>Cause if you can't find the time <em>  
><em>My bleeding heart won't make it...<em>

As the door shuts behind me, I hear the house phone ringing but I ignore it and walk away happily with Ben. It's time to move on with my life and have some fun!

_My bleeding heart won't make it..._

"Hi, this is me... Er, obviously. Sorry I can't take your call right now but leave me a message after the beepy thingy and I _may _call you back. I'm not promising anything mind!"

_BEEP..._

"Hi... It's... It's me... I... I really need to see you... I miss you... I'm leaving home and everyone. I've been so stupid, I don't need them when I know i've got you... Lily, I'm ready to be with you. I don't care what other people say or think... You're the only one I need, the only one I think about... I need you... Lily, I... I love you and-"

_BEEP... The _message_ capacity has been reached._

* * *

><p><strong>Bet you didn't see that coming, did you?<strong>

**Incase you're wondering the song is Time by Chase & Status Feat Delilah and its friggin' awesome! Love the woman's voice so much. When I was listening to it the other day, LilyKat popped into my head and thought that this song fits them well if something bad was to happen. So, ta-dah... This is what I came up with, and you lot now hate me yet again, right?**

**Also sorry if it's crap and mismashed but I wrote some of it whilst on a conference call at work (which is almost 2 hours of pure boredom every week!) and the rest when I was drunk (all spelling mistakes are the vodka's fault, not mine). I couldn't find a place to cut it in half so thought you might as well have a long one!**

**Thanks for the reviews, faves and alerts. I love you guys :) Keep them coming!**


	15. Moving on

**Kat's POV**

I'm walking through the dark street's of London, wondering if what i'm doing is the right thing to do. I've totally let go of my family as they're not ready to accept me for who I am. Just because i'm in love with a girl, doesn't change the person I am, the person i've always been. Lily has been my friend for years, has gone though a lot with me. At least they know and trust her, it's not like I fell in love with some random girl.

Megan seems like the only one who understands, but shouldn't they all understand and support me? Not try and change me or to ignore me if what they think is wrong. But what _is _wrong? There isn't anything wrong. You are who you are. It's who you are that defines you as a person. A person who has just the same amount of feelings as the next person.

And then there's the press. My fans have been so supportive of me, I just want to hug them all. But the press are completely different. It's what they say, do and write that makes millions of people turn on you from what they've read. It's the thing that i've been scared of most with them.

I don't think people are defined by their sexuality, it doesn't change who you are as a person. Plus, I don't think anyone should label themselves gay or straight because there's no point. If you love someone, then you love them, regardless of whether they are male or female.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. But it hurts even more if you _don't _follow it! So that's why I left home. If my mum and everyone won't love me for who I am, then i'll go to the one person who does. The one person I know will stick by me for the rest of my life.

I stop and stare up at the house i've walked to. I take a deep and knock on the door. No one answers so I drop my bags and knock again. Eventually it opens and a smile nervously, only to stop and frown at the person in front of me, naked with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

I look at him in shock, not believing what i'm seeing. "Ben?"

He leans against the door and leans forward to whisper to me. "She doesn't want to see you, so why don't you do her a favour and fuck off?"

I gulp out load and feel the tears filling my eyes. "But-"

"No buts, Kathryn. She's moved on. You tore out her heart and broke it but that's ok, because she's got me to look after her now. No thanks to you. And this time, I ain't going anywhere. She's back with me now, so piss off and don't come back."

With that he closes the door on me and I let the tears fall freely from my eyes. I feel sick and numb. How could she? How could she do that with everything she had said to me? Promised me? I thought she loved me!

I stare down at my bags that I quickly packed when I wanted to get away from home as soon as possible. I feel so stupid now and I can't help thinking that both Ben and Lily are just beyond the door, laughing at me.

She would have got my voicemail before I arrived, so why didn't she try to stop me from coming over? Maybe she _wanted_ me to see Ben here and that's why he answered the door and not her.

Not wanting to stand here anymore, I grab my bags and walk away, wondering how Lily could have done this to me so easily. Why she lied to me and why she even said that she loved me in the first place!

It's when I go to turn the corner that I wonder where i'm going. I realise that I have no one to turn too, no where to go. I turn back and look at the door, wondering if maybe... Maybe what? Lily's made her decision. She's back with her fucking ex. She'll forget about me and start again.

I take a deep breath and turn back around, closing my eyes, hoping for her to run out and get me. But no, she's happy and with Ben again now. So, I just start walking, letting my feet go wherever they want to go and carry me to wherever I end up.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

I turn my head and smile at Ben when he wonders back into my bedroom in just a towel. Fuck, he's pretty damn fit right now.

"Who was that at the door?" I ask, intrigued.

He sits on the edge of the bed and smiles. "Oh, someone got the wrong house so I sent them packing. Or," He says as he leans down to me, "They got the right house and it was your biggest fan wanting to see you."

He leans down further and I smile into the kiss as he softly presses one on my lips. "You're my biggest fan, Ben."

"Damn right, I am." He grins as he pulls the duvet up and lays on top of me kissing my neck. "And don't you forget it." I giggle as he pulls the duvet up to cover us completely. "Now, where were we?"

* * *

><p>I'm smiling my head off as the front door shuts behind me and I lean back against it, biting my lip as I remember my night with Ben. It was pretty damn good!<p>

It's not until I see the red light of my answer machine blinking that I finally pull myself away from my wonderful memories and I go to check the messages left for me.

I press the button then wonder back into my bedroom, smiling and shaking my head at the state of my bed sheets sprawled everywhere before grabbing some clean clothes and head towards the bathroom.

"You have one new message..."

At the sound of the voice, I stop dead.

"Hi... It's... It's me... I... I really need to see you... I miss you... I'm leaving home and everyone. I've been so stupid, I don't need them when I know i've got you... Lily, I'm ready to be with you. I don't care what other people say or think... You're the only one I need, the only one I think about... I need you... Lily, I... I love you and-"

"The message capacity has been reached."

I stay exactly where I am, staring at the bathroom door in front of me.

* * *

><p><strong>Just a <em>really<em> short filler. I have different ideas of what Lily should do next. The obvious one is calling Kat straight away of course, but it's got to be a lot better then just phoning her. I like drama (if you haven't already noticed in my stories), therefore, there has to be a dramatic showdown!**

**Also wanted to make Ben a complete fuckwit too. Think I succeeded there, don't you?**

**Idea's are welcome on what Lily should do next. And no 'Pick up on the phone, i'm sorry, where are you?' stuff. Has to be dramatic, remember. The winning one gets a gold star! And possibly your name as one of Lily friends who goes and beats Ben the Fuckwit up? Thought you might like that last one ;)**

**Thank you for the reviews, keep 'em coming!**


	16. It's too late for your sorry's

**Lily's POV**

I slam the bathroom door shut behind me and start running a bath, deciding that a bath would be a lot better to calm me then a shower. As the bath fills, I sit on the edge of the bath tub, everything going round and round in my head.

_"I miss you... I'm leaving home and everyone... I'm ready to be with you... I need you... I love you."_

I sigh and get into the bath, the water instantly relaxing me a little.

Why? Why now? I gave her all the time she needed, why didn't she just stay with me? I knew that she was struggling to be accepted but surely she knew that I would help her get through it. If she truly loved me, then why leave me in the first place? And why did she never answer my calls or emails? If you really loved someone, then how could you turn your back on them so easily? Why leave it so long?

And then there's Ben... He's been so kind and loving after everything I put him through with Kat. It couldn't have been easy to know that I dumped him for a woman. A woman who was not only my friend but his as well. A woman who my heart has always belonged to. And yet, after everything, he came back and picked me back up when I needed it most.

He's handsome and I know, he'll always be there for me, no matter how bad things get. We've shared 2 years together and it was great. I thought it would be the new start I needed, seeing as Kat wasn't going to get in touch with me again... But then I _was_ drunk...

I sigh again and slide down the bath, letting my head go deeper under the water, thinking how everything is a complete fuck up.

* * *

><p>I walk down a corridor at work and see Megan getting frustrated with her phone and swearing at it. I walk up to her and place my hand on her arm to help sooth her, she stops and looks up at me, sadness in her eyes.<p>

"Hey, what's wrong?"

She puts her phone in her pocket and looks back at me. "Tell Kat that Mum might be pissed off at her and can't stand the way she is, but _I _care! And tell her to answer her fucking phone when I ring to put me out of my fucking misery." I stare back at her confused and she sighs. "I miss her, Lily. I just want my sister back. Wether she's gay or not, it makes no difference to me."

I stand just staring at her, trying to make sense of it. "Megan... Kat's not with me. I don't know where she is."

It's Megan's turn to look confused. "But... but she left home to be with you."

I shake my head. "I got her message but she never came. I thought she decided that she couldn't leave her family after all." Then it hits me. "Unless..."

Megan frowns at me. "Unless what, Lily?"

"Unless..." I close my eyes. "Unless she came round when I was with Ben."

Megan's eyes go wide in shock. "What? What do you mean you were with Ben? Ben your ex?"

I slowly nod my head and open my eyes. "Yeah, he came round and we went out for a few drinks together. It just seemed right."

Megan looks to be in shock, let alone angry too. "You didn't... _sleep_ with him, did you?" I close my eyes and turn away, not wanting to look at her. Not wanting to admit to what i've done. "Oh my God! You fucking did, didn't you?" She spins me round to face her but I still don't look at her. "It. Just. Seemed. Right? For fuck's sake Lily, just tear out my sister's heart and trample all over it why don't you? I thought you cared for her, loved her... would wait for her!"

"Megan, I tried-"

She shoves me back, "No! How could you do that?"

"Megan, please. It was her who cut _me _out. I tried to get hold of her everyday, day _and _night, but nothing. I even came round but your mum wouldn't let me anywhere near her. I _did _wait... Ben just came by at the wrong time-"

"You could have got rid of him, for fucks sake. You didn't have to shag him!"

"And then what, hey?" I say, feeling my own anger bubbling. "Not have a life of my own and still keep on waiting however many years on for when she's ready. Hell, she may never have been ready! But no, I bet she thought that poor old Lily could keep on waiting. She has been for years already, another few more won't hurt her-"

The slap in the face stopped me. I instantly put my hand on my cheek as the stinging started to throb and I stare at the pair of angry eyes in front of me in shock. She points a finger at me and leans forward. She goes to say something but instead shakes her head and walks away, leaving me alone in the corridor.

I lean back against the wall and I must stay there for a good few minutes, then a thought hits me so hard I feel sick. I pull my phone out and scroll down to the number and ring it.

No answer.

I re-dial and listen to the ringing in my ear again. Finally they pick up.

"Hello beautiful."

I stand there, feeling the tears filling my eyes and bite my bottom lip. Then the anger finally resurfaces. "Who the fuck was at the door this morning, Ben? And don't you even think about lying to me, you bastard."

"Whoa, Lily. What's got into you, gorgeous? No one was at the door, I told you. It was just some idiot."

I snort. "Some idiot? Was that _some idiot _be Kat by any chance?" The line remains quiet for a moment. "You arsehole!" Before he has time to reply, I end the call and have the urge to throw the phone down the corridor. Instead I start writing out a quick text message to Megan. I knew that if I tried phoning her she'd only ignore it.

_Please, when you see her, let me know she's ok. Don't tell her about Ben, i'll explain everything to her x_

I send it off and sigh as I hear my name being called. I turn my head to see one of the runners coming up to me.

"Lily? We need you back on set now."

I nod my head as I put my phone back in my pocket and follow him back, hoping that even though Megan may hate me right now, she'll do what I have asked.

* * *

><p>When filming, we film out of sequence and the scene that we're doing now is <em>after <em>the scene that me and Kat will film on the beach together. However, we're doing this scene now _before _the said other scene. Confusing I know.

So i've found myself filming with Kaya and talking about how Naomi believes that Emily has left her for good. I can't help but think that it's all so real, seeing as Kat has left _me. _

I eventually get through the scene and as the director shouts _"Cut" _I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out quickly, hoping to see that it's Kat calling. Instead, I find a new message from Megan.

_She's in the greenroom._

I breathe a huge sigh of relief and take a deep breath before heading towards the greenroom in search of her.

* * *

><p><strong>Kat's POV<strong>

I sit in the greenroom and watch as Lily walks in. She see's me but doesn't acknowledge me as she goes and gets a cup of coffee. I try to act normal as she finally walks over and sits down in front of me, an awkward silence between us. Eventually she speaks.

"Where have you been? Your sister's been worried about you."

I sigh, wishing that she would drop the ice cold voice she's speaking with and actually look at me. "Does it matter?" I watch her as she ignores the question and takes a sip from her cup. "Were _you_ worried?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. She carries on looking at the coffee cup in front of her, finding it a lot more interesting then me and I find the anger rising in me yet again. "Of course not, you were too busy fucking your boyfriend."

Finally her eyes meet mine and it seems like i've hit a nerve. She stares at me for another minute and then gets up to go. "Goodbye, Kathryn."

I sit staring at her as she starts to walk away. I quickly stand and shout after her. "I know you're pissed off and angry with me Lily, but you're not the only one whose hurt!" She stops just as she gets to the door. "You broke _my _heart too, Lily. You told me that you loved me but then you slept with Ben. How could you do that so easily? We hadn't even been apart for a month!"

She turns round to face me again. I know that if I was going to say something else about it again, no matter how much I wanted answers, i'd risk her walking out of the door, so I decide to change tactic.

"That day you came round after you got back from Jamaica, you asked for something." She frowns at the change of conversation and slowly walks back over. "You wouldn't tell me what, but that you wanted to get it back off of Meg. Well, i've got it for you." I pull it out of my pocket and sit it on the table in front of her and watch her carefully as she gently smiles and picks it up.

Lily bites her lip as she looks at it then at me. I smile back, "Guess you missed me after all."

She slides the skull ring onto her finger as she sits back down and looks back up at me. "Megan was homesick so I let her wear it as it was something close to you."

I look down at my own skull ring and back at her. "And you wanted it back so much because...?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "Like I said, it was something close to you."

I sigh, "Lily, i'm so sorry."

She takes a sip of her coffee and sits it back down onto the table, playing with the top of the paper cup. "It's too late for your sorry's."

I close my eyes. "Why can't you understand that I just needed time?" I open my eyes again to see her look away, tears already in her own eyes.

She shakes her head. "I gave you time, I waited for you. It was _you_ who shut _me_ out completely."

"Because I couldn't handle everything at once!" I say, getting angry again.

"Surely you'd know that I would have helped you through it?"

I bite my lip, my turn to look away. "I thought it would only make things worse, what with the press being the way they are."

"But you shut me out Kat. You didn't even phone me! Didn't you think I cared?"

My anger returns. "Of course I thought you cared! I also thought you would be patient enough to wait a bit longer! I didn't expect you to crawl back into bed with your ex, did I?"

She stares at me, tears in her eyes at the truth. It may have hurt her but it hurts me more. She bites her lip and shakes her head, looking away from me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I did that. But you made me do a terrible thing."

I stare back at her shock. _"I _made you do a terrible thing? For fucks sake, Lily, I don't control your mind! All you had to do was say no, or even a simple fuck off would have done!"

She stays sitting where she is, taking it all. "I'm sure you'd be able to forgive me eventually for taking a little time to sort myself out. To finally accept who I am and to also make my family see sense too. But..." I close my eyes, the tears starting to fill them already. I take a deep breath and look back at her. "But I don't think I can forgive you for what you've done."

She goes to open her mouth to speak but I stop her. "What you done _really _hurt me, Lily. To see Ben standing there in nothing but a towel, in _you're _house, telling _me _that you're back together after just 3 weeks of us being apart, _really_ fucking hurt. And to have him to tell me to fuck off because you never want to see me again?" I stop and shake my head.

Her face falls and she slowly starts to frown as if thinking. Again she goes to say something and again, I go and stop her. "Save it, I don't want to hear it." I stand up and she just sits there, staring at me, unable to move. "I left home to be with you. I left everything as I thought we could be together, actually _be _together. I came out for you and now I feel like a complete prick because you just threw it all back into my face."

"Kat, please." She says, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. She wipes them away and stands. "I'm so sorry. Please can we get through this? We _can _be together. I promise that-"

I shake my head, "No, Lily. You promised me something before and now look at us."

"But I love you." She takes a step towards me but I take a step back from her. "Ben was just a huge, drunken mistake. You and me... we've gone through so much, I don't want to lose what we've got. It almost killed me when you had your accident and I helped you through that. I can help you get through this too. I'd be lost without you, Kat. Just give me this chance."

I look back at her, tears in both of our eyes. "No." She looks at me, with a heartbroken look on her face. "I don't want to lose you again but I don't want to be hurt again either. I think it's best if we-"

"No!" She shouts. "You are _not _doing this, Kat. What's the problem?"

"What's the problem?" I repeat, angry and disgusted. "It hurt to see Ben and to think of what you two did together! I can _still _picture you two together." I close my eyes, trying to get rid of the horrible thoughts of the pair of them. "Maybe we won't ever work out. Maybe it's for the best that we move on."

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, but we can sort this." I look away from her as she moves closer and stops, just inches away from me. "In fact, what is there to sort? I love you! And I know that you love me."

I slowly shake my head at her. "I'm sorry Lily, but I can't do this."

She watches, dumbfounded as I quickly grab my stuff and walk away from her yet again.

As i'm walking out of the door, I hear 'Apologize' by Timberland feat. One Republic come on, on the radio and I can't help but think how ironic it is. I also hear Lily shouting after me but I ignore her and carry on walking.

_I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound_  
><em>You tell me that you need me<em>, _Then you go and cut me down, but wait_  
><em>You tell me that you're sorry<em>, _Didn't think I'd turn around and say..._

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late_  
><em>I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late.<em>

_I'd take another chance, take a fall_, _Take a shot for you_  
><em>And I need you like a heart needs a beat<em>, _But it's nothing new_  
><em>I loved you with a fire red, <em>_Now it's turning blue and you say..._  
><em>"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you<em>  
><em>But I'm afraid...<em>

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late_  
><em>I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late.<em>

* * *

><p>After the greenroom incident we got driven to our location to film a scene together. It was my first shoot since having time off from my moped accident and I hadn't seen Lily to go over the script with one another. Even on the drive down to the beach, we didn't say anything. She tried, but I wouldn't talk back to her. She eventually gave up and I continued going over my lines by myself.<p>

Now I find myself laying on the sand, my hand in hers, looking up at the sky. Don't get me wrong, it feels good to have her hand in mine again. I've missed her so much but then I picture her and Ben together and it breaks my heart and I feel ill all over again.

I sigh whilst taking my hand out of hers and sit up, pulling my legs up towards me and crossing my arms on top of my knees as I look out across the ocean. I bite my lip, it's so peaceful here and I can't help but think that i'm making a big mistake and wishing that I never walked away from her in the first place.

Lily stays laying on the sand, watching me. "Em?"

I don't move as I suddenly remember that I need to be Emily right now and to not let these thoughts get to me. I turn my head to face her. I smile sadly and shake my head, "No." I whisper. I stand up and walk away, leaving Lily lying on the beach, watching after me, tears filling her eyes. I can't help thinking that this is far too real for the both of us and that i'm walking away from her yet again.

"And cut!"

I stop walking and look over my shoulder at Lily, whose still lying on the sand, tears falling from her eyes as she watches me.

"That was absolutely amazing! You two really connect with one another, and it feels so real! Well done you two. Didn't think you could pull it off with having so much time out, but..."

I'm aware of my own tears falling down my cheeks but I ignore it. I ignore the crew and what the director and everyone is saying as I keep my eyes on Lily.

Without breaking eye contact, I slowly start to walk back up to her. Maybe it is a big mistake. Maybe I _can _eventually forgive her.

But then I suddenly stop. Ben appears from behind me and runs up to Lily and sits down next to her. I stand watching them for a moment and feel sick at the sight of them together. I finally turn myself away and start walking towards the minibus, wanting to get as far away from them as possible.

As i'm walking to the minibus I realise that they'll soon be getting on it too, and not wanting to be in the same, small space as them, I turn and head towards a taxi. I decide that once I get back to the apartment, i'll grab my belonging's and head out of England. Hopefully, it'll help clear my head and give me the space I need away from Lily... for good.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for your reviews! Amazing ideas and some made me laugh! I took some of the things you's mentioned on board, so a HUGE thank you.<strong>

**Going to use EVERYONE'S ideas so keep your eyes peeled and it'll be very dramatic for you all, as promised. It won't be for a lil while yet though as i'm taking my gorgeous girlfriend to Paris for her birthday next weekend, aren't I nice. lol. But I promise you won't have to wait long.**

**For now though, au revoir x**

**Oh and a little something which i'm sure you will _ALL_ hate me for... I met Lily Loveless... and got a hug and and a kiss too! **

**She's VERY lovely in real life... and even more gorgeous then I thought possible. Even though I was a complete and utter nervous wreck for the 1st hour she was sat behind me! Luckily, we were in a club so the drink chilled me out (even if she had some of mine, yep, you read that right!). Definitely the BEST. NIGHT. EVER!**


	17. Back to the Fountain

**Lily's POV**

I lay on the sand and look away from Kat as Ben appears and sits down next to me. I look over his shoulder as he starts talking and see that Kat has vanished. When I look back at him, I don't really listen to what it is he's saying. It's not until I hear him say that although he did something wrong, it's still for the best that I keep my distance from Kat that I start seeing red.

I start hitting him over and over again in the chest, my anger rising and rising. "You've ruined everything! You've ruined my life, you bastard! Why did you have to say those things to her? Do you not realise what've you done?"

A few of the crew members come and try and drag me away from him, but through my tears I continue to shout and try to kick and punch out at him. "You arsehole! I never want to see you again!"

I push everyone away and start running towards the minibus. As i'm about to step out onto the road, I quickly jump back as a taxi comes driving past me. "Twat!" When it's out of the way, I run over to the minibus and climb in. I go and sit at the back, pulling myself into a ball and get my phone out to call Kathryn, surprised that she wasn't already here. But there's no answer.

I sigh and lean my head against the window, looking out across the beach as the crew members start packing up. Ben gets onto the minibus and I put my earphones in and listen to my iPod before he has an attempt to bother talking to me. Aqualung's 'Strange And Beautiful' was the last song I was listening to and as the song starts to finish, I smile at the thoughts that pass through my mind. But then I close my eyes and let the tears fall silently as flashes of red hair and brown eyes begin to enter my thoughts.

_I'll put a spell on you_  
><em>You'll fall asleep, I'll put a spell on you<em>  
><em>And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see<em>  
><em>And you'll realize that you love me.<em>

_Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first_  
><em>Sometimes the first thing you want never comes<em>  
><em>I know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes.<em>

* * *

><p>When we finally got back to the studio, I noticed that Kat wasn't there. I tried calling but she still wasn't picking up my calls. I didn't worry too much though, just thought that she needed to get away from me sooner and went back home. Simple. That was until an hour ago when Megan came round to see me and my fears started to rise.<p>

"I don't know where she is, Lily. I'm really worried about her. She's not even answering _anyone else's _calls and I can't think of _anywhere _she could have gone to either. I've tried looking in the obvious places and asked all of our friends and family but nothing. I'm really scared."

I can see that she's very worried by the look that she's wearing and you can tell she's trying her hardest not cry. I bite my lip, feeling my own tears.

"I can't believe she's just disappeared like this. I never thought she'd run and hide somewhere." I fall onto the sofa, shaking my head in my hands. "This is all my fault. I've been such a complete and utter bitch. I just wasn't thinking properly and now everything we've had's ruined."

Megan comes and sits down next to me, softly rubbing my arm as she comforts me whilst I let my tears fall along my cheek. "I know that no matter how hard I try, or how many times I say i'm sorry, it won't change anything. I've hurt her so bad that she's never going to forgive me."

"But as long as she knows that you still love her is something though, right?" I look up at her and she smiles at me sadly. "Lily, it's been hard for me to get my head round the fact that you two were going out for real, and I could have quiet have easily have murdered you for the mess you have caused but..." She moves a piece of hair out of my face and wipes away my tears whilst smiling. "You still love her and will do anything for her, that I know. And for that, i'll always love you for it myself. I know that she loves you just as much... You just have to keep fighting for her and showing her that you'll do anything for her. To make this whole thing right again, at least."

I try to take in everything she says and I know she's right. No matter how long, hard or difficult it gets, I just have to get though it and try. Try for her, try for me... try for _us. _Because i'm not going to let everything we've been through fall through my fingers. I love her too much to watch it go after just a few months of us being together.

I want us to be a _real _couple. She was finally ready for that and I just threw it back in her face. I _need _to fix this.

Suddenly a thought pops into my head. "You said you've asked _everyone _on where she might be?"

Megan looks at me frowning. "Yeah, of course. I'm not stupid, you know." I smile and jump up. "Oi! What are you doing?"

I look over my shoulder at her as I walk through the door. "Maybe not _everyone!_"

I leave her looking confused in the hallway as I rush outside to the paparazzi who never seem to move from my street. I run up to them. "Have any of you seen Kat? Or know where she might be?"

A young man looks at me, frowning. "One of ours followed her to the airport this afternoon."

My eyes grow wide with shock. "What airport?" He looks to be thinking and I shake him, getting annoyed. "_What airport?_" I say again, this time in anger.

Another photographer speaks this time. "Luton, Miss. Loveless. She went to Luton and we believe she's flying to Spain."

I let go of the man in front of me and frown, trying to think where she would go in Spain. Or even why?

"No, no..." Another photographer says, "One of _our _guys says she was going to Italy."

I turn to face him confused, then at another when he speaks. "Wasn't it Greece?"

"Well, I thought she was going over to America."

"No, she was definitely staying in Europe somewhere."

"Perhaps it was Morocco, Monaco or was it Monaca?. No, I think it may have been Mojorca."

I roll my eyes and sigh at them all, all of them starting to give me a headache. I turn away and look up to see Megan looking at me on the doorstep, then it hits me. I rush back inside and into my bedroom, grabbing a suitcase as I start to pack.

Megan comes in and frowns. "And where the fuck do you think you're going?"

I stop and look up at her. "Berlin" I say, smiling.

* * *

><p>I rush into the hotel lobby and don't stop until I reach the reception desk. "Can you tell me what room Miss. Prescott is staying in, please?" I ask whilst leaning against the desk, breathless from running.<p>

The snotty nosed, posh tart looks up at me and gives me a look as if i'm a piece of shit before turning back to her computer screen and carries on typing again, ignoring both me and my question.

I bite my bottom lip, trying to stem my anger at this woman and look away shaking my head. As i'm leaning off the desk, I hear her mumble something under her breath and I put my hands on my hips as I turn to face her again. "Excuse me?" I say, raising my eyebrows.

She looks back at me for a second, then turns back to what she was doing.

"If you've got something to say, then say it!" My voice goes slightly higher and catches the attention of a few of the hotel porters and people who are staying here.

She looks up and smiles a fake smile at me. "I do not have anything to say to you, ma'am." She replies back, with a heavy, foreign accent.

I give her a fake smile back. "Of course you don't. But maybe you could tell me what room Miss. Prescott is in and then I can be on my merry way."

She sighs. "I'm sorry, but I cannot disclose any information to you."

I frown at her. "But she's my girlfri- She's my friend."

"That maybe so, but I still cannot disclose _any_ information to you. Maybe if you were to phone your _friend, _then she could tell you?"

It's my turn to sigh and I turn my back away from her, trying to think. Of course she can't tell me. She's not meant to and I could be some crazy fan or something. There's also no point in phoning Kat. She wouldn't answer her phone, she hasn't been so far, so why would she bother now? The only other way of getting to her is if I was to knock on every door and don't stop until I find her. That wouldn't last long though. Mrs. I'm Too Snooty For My Shoes would get security to drag me away before I even get the chance to take a single step further.

"Miss. Loveless?"

A voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn round to face a man, who I can only suggest is the Hotel Manager, standing in front of me smiling. He puts his hands out and his smile grows even bigger. "Ah, it _is _you Miss. Loveless." He takes a step forward and we shake hands. I'm still frowning at him but he doesn't seem to notice. "It's such a pleasure to have you staying with us again." He suddenly stops and looks around as if he's lost something, then looks back up at me, frowning. "You _are _staying with us, aren't you? Where are your belongings?"

I smile and shake my head. "No, i'm afraid i'm not staying. I was just looking for Kathryn."

He nods his head, "Ah, of course. I was surprised when I saw her without you. I heard that you both stayed here before but unfortunately we never met." He smiles again. "But now we finally have the pleasure of meeting."

I can't help but smile at him, what with his slight campness and his soft, charming dutch voice. "Well, it's also a pleasure meeting you too. However, I really do need to see Kathryn. I thought she might be staying here? I tried asking your, er." I stop to think of a polite word but he spins round to face her.

"Ah, Maria! Do you not know who this is?" He says, his hand waving towards me. "No?" The reception looks at me then back at him, looking almost too scared to talk, she simply shakes her head slightly. The manager looks sad and tuts whilst shaking his head. "Why, it's Miss. Lily Loveless. How you do not know that I don't know." He smiles at me as if to apologize then steps behind the desk. "Now tell me, which room is the lovely Miss. Prescott staying in?"

The receptionist starts typing away on the keyboard then looks up at the manager who seems to be getting very happy. "Ah, of course! She's in the room she stayed in when you both last came here. Lots of people ask for the same room when they-"

I don't give him the chance to finish as I rush towards the lifts and step in before running down a corridor and searching for the room. As soon as I reach it, I start banging on the door but there's no answer. I turn the handle where there's a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it and find it's locked.

I start getting frustrated and start knocking again. "Kat, it's me. I know you're in there."

I stop when there's still no answer and sigh. As I turn back round, I lean back against the door and see someone popping their head out of their hotel room, looking annoyed with me. I raise my eyebrow as if to challenge them. "Yeah? Can I help you?" She tuts and shakes her head as she goes back inside, closing the door and leaving me alone in the corridor again.

I slide down the door, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms round them, leaning my head back against the door.

"Kat, I know you can hear me." I sigh. "Please, will you just let me talk to you? Preferably without a solid door between us?"

There's still no answer and I close my eyes, shaking my head. I try to think but the memories of being here, in Berlin come flooding back to me. We were once so happy. Why did everything have to get so complicated and fucked up?

I bite my lip as I look behind me at the closed door and frown. "Berlin..." I say quietly as I try to think of where else Kat could have gone.

I knew she would have chose Berlin because this is where we grew a lot, lot closer. It was our first proper holiday on our own together. _And _we shared our first kiss here that, for once, wasn't for acting. It was a _real_ kiss...

My eyes grow wide at the sudden realisation. "The kiss!" I say as I jump up and run back towards the lift. As soon as i'm inside and start pressing the button for the bottom floor, I start hoping and praying that Kat is where I think she is.

As soon at the lift doors open again, I come running out and out onto the busy streets of Berlin, looking in both directions as I come to a stop on the pavement outside the hotel.

I look over to my right and smile as I see the fountain with hundreds of tourist's standing around it and taking photo's. Before I have another chance to think, I find myself running towards it.

Just as I run across the road and hit the pavement again I stop. In between all of the people walking by, I see a flash of red and my heart stops. Standing right next to the fountain, looking out across the whole City of Berlin, is Kathryn.

I feel the smile start stretching itself across my entire face and let the tears fill my eyes as I slowly start to walk over to her. Once I reach her, I stand behind her and take a deep breath and slowly breathe out again.

"I know I said we should come back here again one day, but I didn't think it would be quite like this." I watch her tense as I start talking, but she doesn't turn round to face me or speak. I smile as I remember the conversation we had about it. "And it's also summer, just like how you said you wanted it to be. It's not snowing this time."

She still doesn't turn around when she speaks to me. "But you wanted it to snow." I frown. "You said that if we didn't come back in the winter then you wouldn't be able to hug me and keep me warm in your arms again."

I smile sadly at the memory and go to put my arm out to her but stop myself. I hear her sigh and I close my eyes. When I open them again, I meet watery brown ones looking back at me and all I want to do is rub away her tears like she had done with me on that final night here.

"You found me, then." I nod and cross my arms to stop me from throwing them around her and pulling her close to me. Instead I nod my head, too scared to say anything else to her. I know what I want to say, but the words just won't come out. She smiles sadly and turns back round, her back to me as she continues to look over the city. "A month ago, we were so happy together." I hear her sigh and my heart breaks just that little bit more. "I know that you blame me for walking away in the first place."

I shake my head and take a step towards her. "No!" I stop and clear my throat, dropping my voice. "No, I don't blame you. Not anymore."

She shakes her head. "Ok then, don't tell me, you're willing to forgive and forget instead then." I close my eyes, trying to stop my tears falling from the cold, horrible voice she's using.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes, then I go and stand next to her, both of us looking out over the City. "I'm willing to give anything a try." She snorts. "And I know that you won't be able to forget what I did to you but..." I turn my face to look at her, her gaze still staring straight ahead. "Hopefully... In time... You'll be able to forgive me."

She turns her head to look at me and I notice the tears running down her face. "I can't do that, Lily." She says, her voice cracked from crying. After another minute of looking into my own saddened eyes, she smiles sadly. "Sorry." Then she turns and walks away.

I stand there, next to the fountain where we shared our first real kiss together, watching her walk away from me again, just like she did on that day and I let the tears fall freely down my face as I watch her walk so easily away from me and it tears my heart apart even more when she doesn't even look back.

"I love you!" I shout out to her, not caring what people think as she starts to disappear into the cluster of tourists that are all around us. She stops and so does my heart. But then she carries on walking again. Away from me and away from us.

I finally break down when she disappears amongst the thousands of people, as I realise that it really is over between us. That she'll never forgive me.

_I've been watching your world from afar_  
><em>I've been trying to be where you are<em>  
><em>And I've been secretly falling apart.<em>

_To me, you're strange and you're beautiful_  
><em>You'd be so perfect with me.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kathryn,<em>

_I know that you probably won't read this but I feel like this is my last chance. So, I'm going to write it anyway._

_I've been waiting all my life for someone like you and when I first met you, I knew it was love. I've never believed in love at first sight, you can probably imagine that with me and it's true. But then you came along and everything changed. I changed._

_We shared everything together, there's so many amazing memories that make me so happy to think that I shared those moments with you. I wouldn't have changed a thing._

_Then you had your accident and it almost killed me not knowing if you were going to live or not. I prayed everyday for you and when I finally saw your eyes staring back into mine that day, I was so relieved and happy. You were my angel and you came back to me._

_Now it seems like from that moment, everything went downhill and I hate myself for what i've done. I know that no matter how much I try, I can't rewind the time, nor can I make it up to you. I just hope that you know how very sorry I am._

_I never meant to hurt you. It breaks my heart to think that I let you down. I hate waking up and remembering what i've done to you. I hate waking up and not seeing your adorable face laying on the pillow next to me._

_I know it's not easy giving up your heart. Trust me, I'm learning. But Kat, please remember that I love you and always will._

_Lily x_

I take a deep breath and place the letter on the doorstep outside her house and knock on the door, before quickly running across the road and round a corner where I stay and watch. I know that if she saw my outline through the glass door she wouldn't open it, or it'll be her mum who I really don't want to face again right now. And the reason why I placed the letter on the doorstep was so I can see that she does get it and not her mum, who I know would hide it from her. At least if Kat gets it, I can go back up to her and talk to her in person.

I watch as the door opens and my heart stops at the sight of her. I smile as I think that my heart always managed to stop every time I saw her, even now. I bite my bottom lip as I see her cute face, all confused, as she looks out to see no one at her door. Then she frowns even more as she see's the letter. I watch her and i'm about to step out and walk over to her but stop.

She picks it up and shakes her head as she recognises my hand writing on the front, rips it in half and throws it into the bin before heading back inside and shutting the door.

I close my eyes and let the tears fall. After what feels like an age, I finally open them and walk towards my car. I take a few good gulps full from the half empty bottle of vodka thats sitting on the passenger seat, then when i'm finally ready, I drive off. Not once looking back.

* * *

><p><em>Whilst Lily drives away, what she doesn't see is Kat walking back out, getting the letter and heading back indoors to read it...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>This is getting more and more heart breaking, i'm sure :'( I'll let you you in on a little secret too, the next chapter is called 'Hospital For The Broken Hearted'<strong>

**If that's not heart breaking enough then I don't know what is. Maybe the crash that Lily has... maybe? No?**

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Feel free to leave a few more and I'll leave the next chapter in return...**


	18. Hospital for the broken hearted

**Kat's POV**

I'm laying on the sofa watching some bizarre show where someone has to choose three dinner dates to cook for them at their house. Then later on, they have to choose just one to take out for a romantic dinner at a posh restaurant, hoping that they'll be able to get together as a couple. Basically it's shit, just like the rest of the daytime TV that's on. But unfortunately for me, Megan likes it so I just have to put up with it.

Thankfully the door goes and my sister looks far too engrossed in the TV to even think about getting up to answer it. I look at her and sigh, deciding that I need time out from the programme, _I _get up and walk to the door.

As i'm opening it, I frown. "What the fuck?" I look out but don't see anyone, it's not until i'm about to turn to shut the door again that I see a letter on the doorstep.

I bite my lip and bend down to pick it up. I look over it, wondering why the writing is so familiar, then the realisation hits me. Lily.

The anger hits me and without thinking, I tear it up, throw it in the wheelie bin and slam the door.

"Who was that?" Megan asks, her face looking concerned as I march back into the living room and sit back down. I think she can tell by my face of anger that something has pissed me off.

I sigh and soften up, shrugging as I lean back into my seat again, I shake my head. "No one. Think it's those kids playing Knock And Run again."

She smiles and shakes her own head, turning back round to finish watching her programme again. "Bastards."

I let her carry on watching it in peace and I turn to look out of the window, biting my lip as I wonder what Lily is up to. Why write to me? What has she got to say that she hasn't already said? That she's sorry for what she's done to me yet again? Just because she's sorry, doesn't mean anything. It's just a word. How can a word help fix everything? How can a word make me forget the images I get of her and Ben together?

Before I know it though, i'm up and outside the front door again. The only way to know is to read the bloody thing. It's only a stupid letter, what harm can it do?

When I've finally retrieved it, I go upstairs to my room and sit on my bed. I look at the two torn pieces in my hand and put them together. I smile as I stroke my thumb across my name thats written in her handwriting on the envelope.

She took the time to write it, so I might as well read it.

* * *

><p>I walk into the kitchen and both Megan and Kaya instantly stop talking. I frown and look at them, suspiciously. Megan looks as if she's about to burst into tears and it looks as if Kaya already has at some point. "What's going on?"<p>

They look at each other as if trying to work out whose going to tell me first. I raise an eyebrow and look at Meg.

She sighs, defeated. But what she says doesn't hit me. I feel nothing. "It's Lily... She's er..." She clears her throat and looks at Kaya as if for help.

I turn to face her, my eyebrows raising higher as if to make her tell me, but she still says nothing. "She's what, Kaya? She's finally got the message and is leaving me the fuck alone?"

Suddenly, Megan walks towards me, her fists clenched and I take a step back, taken by surprise from her unexpected outburst. "Is that what you want, Kat? Is that what you _really _want?"

Kaya comes over and pulls her away a little and I stand, wondering what the fuck's going on with her.

"Ok, she tore your heart apart, but you've hurt her just as much, Kathryn. She's been trying, _really _fucking trying, but you won't let her back in. Why? She loves you so fucking much and I know that you still do too, so why didn't you just let her back. Why didn't you just start again?"

I shake my head. "Just letting her back into my life isn't that easy though, is it? Yes I love her, I still do, but it's also about trust. And I still can't shake the thoughts of her and that prick of a boyfriend together, fucking one another, out of my head either. So i'm sorry that if i'm not taking her back to make you two happy. But I can't-"

Kaya interrupts me. "You love her?" I turn to face her, confused and see her frowning just as much. "You said that you still love her."

I close my eyes and shake my head. "I'm going." I turn to leave but stop dead in the doorway when she speaks again.

"She's been in a horrific car crash and is in the hospital. Wrapped her car round a lampost because she thinks that you don't love her anymore. She saw you rip up her letter and so she got into her car and drove off... drunk."

I turn to face her, not taking in what she just said. "What did you just say?"

She sighs. "Since she came back from Berlin, she's been trying to keep herself together. But I know that on the inside, she's been tearing herself apart. She thought that she could fight to get you back. Convinced herself even. But then what you did and said in Berlin broke her apart. She knew then that you'd never be able to forgive her and she thought you stopped loving her."

She takes a step towards me and places a hand on my arm. "She's been drinking heavily everyday since, trying to block everything out and trying to forget everything that she's caused."

"She saw you." I look at her, the shock starting to set in. "She saw you rip that letter in half and throw it away. She wanted to make sure you got it and was about to run up to you to talk. But then you done that and she drove straight over to mine, drunk as a skunk on Vodka."

I start feeling sick at what i'm hearing and sit down before I fall. "I calmed her down the best I could and tried to get her to sleep it off. When I came back through to her with a cup of coffee, she was gone. All that was left was the empty bottle on the side."

I feel the tears falling from my eyes as Megan comes and sits down next to me. "Is she ok?" Is all I can manage to say.

Kaya nods, "For now she is."

I look at Megan who pulls me into a hug. "What have I done?" I keep saying, over and over again, as the tears fall down my face and into her hair. "What the fuck have I done to her?"

* * *

><p>It doesn't take long before both Kaya and Meg calm me and pull me back to my senses. I quickly grab my bag and keys off the side and rush into the living room to look in mirror to make sure my eyes aren't all puffy and red from crying. It's not until I stand right in front of the mirror that I realise that the TV is still on and all I can hear is Lily's wonderful voice fill my ears. I freeze on the spot.<p>

"I love her. I really, truly love her. I know i've hurt her but I just hope that she knows that at the time I never meant to.

It's killing me knowing what i've done and how i've ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't sleep or even eat. The thoughts, the memories... even the nightmares of everything thats happened is always, constantly there. It never goes away. No matter how hard I try, it's always there. It follows me around like some sort of disease. And I hate myself for it.

I try to act like i'm fine but I end up drinking myself into an oblivion to get rid of it, but it only seems to make things worse. And waking up to find that she's not there isn't easy either. I miss her so much, I just don't know what to do anymore. How am I supposed to make it through without her? I can't live like this. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be without her. I'm so confused and fucked up that I just can't deal with it.

She's been gone from me for so long now that I know that she's not coming back. I love her with all of my broken heart, and I hope that she know's, that no matter what happens, she'll always have a place in my heart. I'll _never _stop loving her." She smiles and looks directly at the camera. "She is my lobster after all."

* * *

><p>I walk down the corridor of the hospital and stop just outside the door. I'm scared to see her here. I'm scared that she might push me away, just like I did with her.<p>

I look back at Megan and Kaya, nervously. They nod their heads to encourage me to go in, I turn back round and take a step further. I take another quick look over my shoulder to see they're both going to sit down outside the room and I sigh. Guess this is it.

I turn around and take a deep breath, pushing the door open and taking a step inside. I close my eyes and swallow, opening them slowly to see blue eyes starring back into mine with hate.

I take another deep breath and slowly breathe out. It's shaky and i'm almost too scared to talk, but I open my mouth to start anyway.

"Save it." Her voice says, dripping with ice.

I look away towards the bed and can't help but feel the sadness, anger and pain hit me all at once.

"I hope you're happy with what you've done." Her mother walks towards me and I can't help but take a step back, scared of what she'll do. "You caused this, just as much as her. I hope for both of you're sakes that you sort this out and put it behind you both or... just stay out of her life for good."

With one final look, she walks out of the room, leaving me confused and scared all the more. Then I look back over at the bed and see Lily sleeping there. And my heart melts at the sight of her.

She's laying in the bed, numerous machines around her beeping away and she looks peaceful. Absolutely peaceful.

It's not until I take a few steps forward that I see the harsh scars across one side of her face reminding me of why she's here.

Her words from the interview she gave come flooding back to me. Was it a warning that something bad was going to happen? Did she do it on purpose? Why else say that she loves me no matter what happens? Was this what she meant? She couldn't live with what she done, couldn't live without me. Did she crash her car head on to end her own suffering?

I'm not sure how long I had stood there, after the interview had finished, when Kaya finally came over to me and pulled me outside and into the car to bring me here. She told me on the way over that the person who interviewed Lily had phoned after she had learnt of Lily's accident. Apparently, Lily had set up the interview just half an hour _after _she left me her letter.

I realise now that maybe it _was _her way of letting me know. If only they had showed the interview sooner, and if I had taken her letter more seriously and tracked her down at Kaya's then maybe we could have avoided this. Would she be here, in one piece and happy in my arms again? Or would I still have pushed her away like I had been so far?

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't see Lily waking up and turning to face me. She blinks a few times, probably trying to adjust to the world from her sleepy state or trying to work out if i'm really here or it's a dream of some sort.

I slowly walk over and sit down in the chair next to the bed and look up at her nervously. I try to talk but it's as if my mouth has dried up and nothing wants to come out. I can't take my eyes off of the scars on her face. It's like they're reminding me of what she's been putting herself through. What _I_ made her put herself through.

"It's not as sore as it looks." She says, smiling sadly at me. She goes to sit up a little but stops as a sharp pain shoots through her. I instantly worry and go to help but she just shakes her head and smiles whilst leaning back, holding her side slightly. "But that is."

The anger that I felt towards her, starts to dissolve and I start feeling awfully sorry and upset at what's happened between us.

"If I had known that all it took was to crash into a lamp post, then I would have done it sooner. May have saved me some money on that trip to Berlin."

I bite my lip, trying not to smile at her. "You could have killed someone, Lily." I say, turning more serious. "You could have killed yourself."

She looks up at me with sad eyes. "Maybe that was my intention."

I look back at her in disbelief, shaking my head. "What? To die?" Her eyes look away from mine and I sigh. "That's awfully selfish of you."

Her eyes shoot back to mine, with both pain and anger in them. "And what do you mean by that? I was hurting, nothing seemed to help. So why not end it?"

"It's selfish because you were only thinking of yourself. What about the people around you? That love you?"

She looks to be thinking then looks back at me. "You're right. Maybe I was being selfish but I was only thinking of you. No one else." She looks away from me and speaks so quietly, it's almost a whisper. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"Because I love you. I _still _do after everything that's happened."

"Then why leave?" She asks whilst frowning and her eyes trying to search mine for answers. "If you really love someone then why would you leave like that?"

I sigh, knowing that we need to talk about this. At least we're not shouting at one another this time.

"Lily, you have to understand, that I never wanted to lose you, I just needed some time on my own. I needed some space and time to get my head around everything. I needed my mum and family to understand that I love you and that i'm still the same person deep down. Just because i'm in love with another woman doesn't make me any different. Nothing about me has changed. Nothing.

I just wanted the acceptance, for them to still love me for who I am. I wanted us to be happy and to be able to walk down a street together without the press conjuring up a sad, horrible story about us.

I finally learnt that sometimes, what we really want to happen, won't happen. The press... well, the press are hard to please and there's never no pleasing them. If they want to write a story, no matter how horrid it is, they'll still do it, because to them, it sells their papers and makes them money.

And my family? Some of them are coming round to the idea of us being together. Hell, they've even seen more then their fair share of us kissing one another on TV! They didn't batter an eyelid then, and so they aren't so much now."

I sigh and look away. "And then there's my mum." I take a deep breath and look back up at her, tears in both of our eyes. "I guess there'll always be one person..."

"Kat..." She goes to take my hand but I quickly pull it away, shaking my head.

"I wanted to get away from her. I might be her daughter but whilst i'm in love with you, I might as well be a stranger to her. How could you be like that to your own flesh and blood. I needed support and what did she do? Tell me that it's wrong to be in love with another woman, that it's not right. That'll it'll never be right."

I take another deep breath and wipe away my tears. "So when I realised that she weren't going to love me like a daughter again, I grabbed my things and left. The only person I knew loved me and I loved back was you. I was finally ready to walk down a street with you and not give a flying fuck on what anyone has to say about it. No one."

I smile sadly at her. "Unfortunately I just never expected to see Ben."

I watch her as she slowly closes her eyes, the regret of what happened hitting her again. "It meant nothing to me." She says, quietly. Her eyes still closed, not wanting to look at me. "It was just a horrible, drunken mistake. I wasn't in the right state of mind. It was just a horrible, horrible, _stupid _mistake."

I snort. "So that's why he came to the door and told me to fuck off because you two were happily back together then."

Her eyes shoot open and with a look of something I can't quite place. "He surprised me! I had no idea he was coming over." She sighs, lowering her voice. "Kat, I'd been drinking for hours. I drank some pretty heavy stuff and he was just... there. How could I refuse him when he was being so nice after what had happened between _us? _I thought we were over. _You _never returned my calls or emails, nothing."

She takes a deep breath and i'm about to speak again but she stops me. "I know. I know I shouldn't be turning this back around on you. It's me whose done the worst thing of all but it was what happened. I thought I was never going to see you again. Ever."

She bites her lip and I know that she's trying to fight back the tears in her eyes. "Like I said, he was just there. I didn't feel the pain of you leaving me whilst I was him." She frowns. "I didn't feel... anything."

She leans over and grabs a glass of water, taking a minute to calm herself down. I watch, frowning. "Lily... why did he say those things? If it meant nothing then why say that you never want to see me again? That you two were back together?"

She almost drops the glass as she replaces it back on the bedside cabinet. As she slowly turns back round to face me again, I see the tears falling heavily from her eyes. She shakes her head, her voice is quiet and croaky from her crying and I find it hard to hear her. "He lied."

I frown and lean forward a little bit, to hear her better as she starts to break down right in front of me. "What?"

"He lied. I'm so, so sorry, Kat. I never told him to say anything! I never said those things he said to you. I wanted you, not him. I didn't even know it was you at the door! If I had known, I would have came running after you! I love _you! _That's another reason why it hurts so much. You were right _there!_"

It breaks my heart seeing the state that she's getting herself into and I can't help but go and sit on the bed and pull her into my arms and calm her. As her tears fall, I wipe them away. As she clings onto me, I hold her back.

After a while of just sitting with her and telling her that everything is going to be ok, she sits back, wiping her face dry again.

"Promise me that you won't leave me?"

Something inside of me breaks and seeing her in front of me, broken and torn at what we had done, makes me realise how fragile everything is.

I close my eyes, trying to block it all out. Not wanting to fall again but when I open them and see her watery blue eyes starring into mine, I smile. I can't do this to her again. _We _can't go through this again.

I take hold of her hand and softly stroke her delicate fingers. I look back into her eyes and smile. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise." She smiles up to me and I can't help but melt when she does so. How did I turn my back on her? On what we had?

She lets go of my hand and I frown. She smirks and pulls the hospital bed sheet back, wanting me to get into the bed with her. Even though my whole body is aching and screaming at me to get in with her, I hesitate.

"It's nothing." She says, gently, as if she knows what i'm thinking. "It's just a hug. We can take it as slow as you like again. I know we have to build up our trust again, but kat..." Even though she sighs, she's still smiling and the bright blue of her eyes return. Something that I now realise, has been missing for the past few months. "I just need to feel you. To know that you're there." She bites the bottom of her lip as if to stop herself from grinning like a goon. "So, will you just get in with me already?"

I can't help but smile happily back and before I know it, i'm climbing in next to her and pulling the quilt back around us as we lay down.

Once we're settled down I sigh happily, feeling her arms wrap themselves around my waist like they have done so many times before. I look up at her and see her eyes are shut but a ghost of faint smile are on her lips.

I snuggle further down and into her more and hear her moan in satisfaction, that I am finally here, with her. But I can't shake the thought that keeps going around in my head and frown.

"Lily?"

"Mmm." She mumbles as she starts falling asleep.

"Lily..." I say, quietly but with a hint of worry in my voice. "The police will be coming to see you, won't they? I mean, you were drink driving and crashed a car."

"Let's worry about that in the morning. Right now," She hugs me tighter and kisses the back of my shoulder. "Can we just stay like this for a bit?"

I smile. It feels so good being like this with her again. "Yeah," I say as I close my eyes, a smile on my face that matches hers. "For a bit."

I realise how tired I am, so I let myself drift off to asleep... in the arms of the girl I love so much.

* * *

><p><strong>Are you getting bored of this yet? It's my birthday soon, so all I wish for is lots of reviews to let me know that you are all still interested in this.<strong>

**This one goes out to _iwetta _as we found out that we don't live that far away from one another (it's such a small world!) and she's been wishing for a happy ending in this story... So I kind of gave you one, wether it was just to keep you sweet so you don't beat me up, I won't say!**

_**ShiraStimulation: **_**You called me the Goddess Of Smut once, so for you, you shall enjoy the next chapter... for sure ;)**

**_pixiedust123: _You shall too, there's _definitely_ going to be some make up sex in the next one!**

**Now, have I got everyone interested? Thought so...**


	19. We may only have tonight

**Kat's POV**

I help Lily through her front door and help her sit down on the sofa to get more comfortable.

"You didn't need to to do this, you know." She says, smiling as she watches me take her hospital bag off my shoulder and drop it to the floor.

I look up at her and smile back, "I know."

She sighs. "You can leave now, if you want."

I watch as she turns to look at the floor and she already sounds disappointed that i'll be leaving.

I smile knowingly whilst shaking my head and walk over to her kitchen. "I bet you have nothing to eat." I say as I start opening random cupboards, looking for food.

I know that she'll be boring those blue eyes into the back of my head, trying to work out what's going on. Well, I promised her that I was going no where, that this is it, me and her. Yes, we hurt one another and yes, it may take awhile for us to trust one another again but I can't bear seeing her like she was again. I can't bear to think that it was because of me that she almost killed herself over.

I close the fridge door and smile at her adorable, confused face. "I'll pop out in a bit and get you some food. _Proper _food." I say as I walk back across to her and pick up her hospital bag before heading towards her bedroom to put it in.

She frowns. "_Now _what are you doing?"

I bite my lip to stop myself from smiling and open her bedroom door, dropping the bag onto the bed. It's not until I turn back round to walk back out that I look over my shoulder, back at her bed that it hits me so hard, I feel the tears starting to form in my eyes.

I guess it'll take a little longer for the thoughts and images to be forgotten then I had hoped.

I shake my head and take a deep breath, wiping the tears from eyes. As I turn round, I see Lily leaning against the door frame, watching me with concern.

I clear my throat and walk past her. "I'll go and get you some food _now_."

I say it and try to act as normal as possible, hoping that she's not noticed that I'm hurt again already. I also hope that by going outside in the fresh air, it'll help clear my head and the image of her with another man from my head.

As I walk past her though, I stop dead. The touch of her hand on my wrist sends a fire up my arm and warms my heart. Butterflies instantly going straight to my stomach.

"What did I tell you? Back at the hospital?" She asks.

I look back at her but frown. We spoke a lot at the hospital and about a lot of different things. I shake my head, not a single thing coming to mind about what it could be that she's thinking about.

She smiles softly and takes my other wrist, holding them at either side of her as she stands in front of me.

"He meant _nothing_." She says it so quietly, it's almost a whisper. "Kathryn... _You _mean _everything_ to me. Everything."

She closes her eyes and you know that she's trying to stop herself from letting the tears fall, that she's trying to stay strong for me.

She opens them again and softly moves some stray hair away from face and tucks it behind my ear.

"I'd die for you." Her voice almost breaks as a tear slowly falls but _still _she holds herself together in front of me. "You know I would." She says as her thumb softly strokes my cheek. My heart's almost breaking again. "I won't _ever _do anything that will ever hurt you again. I promise."

I stare back at her and slowly nod my head, a lone tear that can no longer stay away, falls down my cheek and she softly wipes it away with her thumb. "I know." I say, almost a whisper. "I know."

"I don't ever want to lose you again." She says through her tears.

I shake my head again and move closer to her, my body almost touching hers. "You won't." I grab both of her wrists, just like she had done with me. "I'm with you now, and I'm never going away again. Never."

She smiles through her tears. "Promise?"

I smile back, my tears slowly residing. "I promise."

* * *

><p>After a little heart to heart with one another, I cooked us some dinner and we spoke some more. With me agreeing to stay with her.<p>

I have no where to live and Lily reckons it'll be good for us. It'll also help us begin to trust one another again, although, the whole trust thing seems to have disappeared as I can't help but wonder how we've managed to fall straight back into our relationship again. Even if we have agreed on taking things slow.

I put the stereo on and happily hum along to the words of the Plain White Tee's song Rhythm Of Love. I start to wash the dishes up as Lily changed the bed, put her hospital things away and went for a shower.

_My heart beats like a drum_  
><em>A guitar string to the strum<em>  
><em>A beautiful song to be sung<em>  
><em>She's got blue eyes deep like the sea<em>  
><em>That roll back when she's laughing at me<em>  
><em>She rises up like the tide<em>  
><em>The moment her lips meet mine.<em>

As I'm rinsing out a glass, I glance over towards the sofa and see the spare blanket she put on there for me as it's where I'll be sleeping. Maybe, it's _too_ slow.

_We may only have tonight_  
><em>But till the morning sun, you're mine<em>  
><em>All mine<em>  
><em>Play the music low<em>  
><em>And sway to the rhythm of love.<em>

"What are you smiling about?" Lily asks as she walks through the living room and towards me in nothing but a towel.

I gulp. It's _definitely_ too slow.

I try to talk and shake my head but all my brain can think of doing is looking her up and down _very _slowly, noticing each and every single water drop, slowly making itself down her neck, onto her chest then disappearing into the towel.

I continue to watch in fascination as she leans over and takes hold of her glass of wine and drinks it all whilst eyeing me over the top of the rim, an eyebrow rised.

"See something you like?" She asks innocently whilst walking over to me with a slight smirk on her face.

I quickly turn back round to the sink and clear my throat. "No, no. Just wondering if you want me to wash that for you?"

I close my eyes at the stupidity of the question, but with my mind all cloudy, what else could I think of?

Lily walks up behind me and I feel her leaning against the back of me as she puts the glass into the sink in front of me. "I've already had a wash, sweetheart. You should have joined me."

A shiver runs through me as I feel her hot breath on my cheek as she whispers in my ear in that dark, husky voice she has when she's incredible turned on and I can't take it anymore. I try to fight it, but it's hard when I know she's pressed against me half naked, knowing she wants it just as much and the smell of her clouding my senses even more.

Slowly turning, I see those amazing blue eyes that have followed my dreams and bury my face in her neck, savouring the feel of her arms wrapping themselves around me.

"I've missed you." She says, her voice soft as she slowly strokes the small of my back and kisses the top of my head.

I smile into her, enjoying the moment and the feel of her around me. "I've missed you too." I say, my words sounding so true and honest.

After a few more moments of holding one another, I pull away slightly and look up at her. "I want you."

"You sure you're ready for this?" She asks, her voice full of concern as she places both of her hands round my waist, gently stroking my side.

I smile and I've never felt so sure about anything in my life. I've missed her, I've missed _this. _She's here with me and the rest of the world quietly recedes around us. "I'm sure."

With that, she leans in and kisses me. It starts off as a very soft and sensual kiss but soon turns into a very heated and passionate one as my tongue tastes her once again and old memories of us back together come flooding back.

Soon I feel her soft, warm hands reach underneath my top and ever so slowly make their way upwards, towards my small breasts. She pulls back from the kiss and looks at me with a small, questioning look. Silently asking me for permission.

I smile and bite my bottom lip, taking her hand into mine and leading her towards her bedroom.

Once inside she pulls me back into her, kissing me with such intensity that makes my knees feel week and I fall backwards onto the bed, with her climbing on top of me.

We kiss long, hard and deep. It feels like every nerve in my body is firing as I start to undress her, first with my eyes and then with my hands. Kissing each part of her body as it's exposed when I take off her towel. Tasting her with my tongue, my hands caressing her shoulders, her back and those amazing breasts of hers.

I turn her over on the bed and begin to kiss down her neck and shoulders until I reach her perfect, round breasts. I kiss and lick around them, then I grab hold of her nipple and suck on it before doing the same with the other until she's moaning so loudly that I'm sure the neighbours would hear!

I carry on licking and kissing the rest of the way down her amazing, perfectly toned body before I slowly lick and kiss up and down her thigh, teasing her just before I get to where I want to be the most.

I move and start to very lightly lick my tongue up and down her. She looks so hot right now and it spurs me on even more and so I start to suck on her wildly until I feel her start to loose control and her orgasm builds. I don't stop until it finally drives so wild and over the edge that she's bucking wildly underneath me and is screaming out my name.

I give her a minute to recover and after a few more moments, I slowly kiss my way back up her and gently lay down beside her. Her heavy breathing is the only sound in the room and one of the only sounds I'll never tire of hearing. Knowing and reminding me that it was me that's literally took her breath away.

I turn my head to look at her, smiling as she gently brushes a stray strand of hair out of my face.

"You're so beautiful." She says, her voice still breathless and husky. "And pretty, fucking amazing."

I try not to laugh and bite my lip. I go to say something but she stops me by placing a small, delicate finger onto my lips, lightly. I smile and place a gentle kiss onto it.

She smiles and moves to lay on top of me, slowly leaning down to my lips and we share a deep but loving kiss.

Before long, she's making love to me, like I had done to her. My whole body erupting into a huge, burning fire that can't seem to get enough of the hot blonde who has changed my life completely and so I give myself completely to her.

When my body starts to relax from her touch and my breathing starts to ease out again, she comes to lay down next to me. I watch her as she looks up towards the ceiling, biting her bottom lip, with a small smile playing across her lips as she does so.

"I love you." I whisper in her ear, my voice sounding huskier then usual.

Lily turns her head slightly to stare at me, our eyes lock together in that special bond we always shared and she smiles the loving smile that I've always loved.

"I love you too Kat, with all my heart and much, much more." She smiles brightly and moving slightly so I could move into her. She wraps her arms tight around me and holds me in that wonderful embrace I love.

I smile back as I rest my head down onto her chest and slowly start to doze off in a sleepy slumber. Back in the arms of the girl I love and will never give up on again.

_And long after I've gone_  
><em>You'll still be humming along<em>  
><em>And I will keep you in my mind<em>  
><em>The way you make love so fine.<em>

_We may only have tonight._

* * *

><p>The bright morning sun shines through a small gap in the curtains, causing light to fall randomly around the room. There's still a slight chill to the air as the day fights back the previous night's cold, making it a perfectly comfortable morning for lazing around in bed.<p>

I stir slightly from my slumber beneath the soft sheets, a warm loving smile spreading across my lips as my body slowly brings me back to consciousness. Slowly my eyes begin to open, reaching my arm out to the space beside me where Lily is supposed to be, still in her own slumber. I sit up slightly as my arm falls across nothing but the cotton sheets and pillows. Slowly my gaze makes its way around the room, searching for the girl who makes my heart beat with such intensity.

A slight thump from the kitchen catches my attention, and with a small yawn and stretch, I slip from the warm covers of the bed and into the chilled fresh morning air. Brushing the hair from my eyes, I slip on one of Lily's shirts and slowly make my way out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.

With a slight stumble, I push my way through the door and stop abruptly at the sight before me. Lily, the most gorgeous girl I know, standing in the middle of the kitchen area next to the table, smiling at me as I walk into the room. I admire her as I walk towards her for my morning kiss and embrace. Her beautiful blue eyes standing out and gleaming at me in the morning light.

I can't help but think how incredibly attractive she is and how lucky I am. I can see why _every_ woman within a radius of her turn their head to see her.

"What's this then?" I ask with a small grin as I lean forward and wrap my arms around her, giving her a gentle, loving kiss on the lips.

Smiling softly, she takes me in her arms and holds me tight, returning her soft loving kiss as she stares back into my chocolate, brown eyes. "Just thought I'd make my gorgeous girl some breakfast." She replies with a naughty grin on her face, "You kind of worked up a bit of an appetite last night."

Catching her grin, I step back and walk towards the cooker where there's toast under the grill and eggs cooking on the hob. I turn them both off and look back over at her and smile at the confused and dazed look she's wearing. I bite my bottom lip and walk slowly back over to the table.

"And what is it that's for breakfast, exactly?" I say softly as I sit on the edge of the table, leaning back slightly on my arms behind me.

She walks over to me slowly and lowers herself, wrapping her arms tight around me and holding me in the embrace I love and missed so much. "Don't get me wrong," she starts, gently stroking my hair, "I love breakfast. I love eating breakfast at the table and watching your adorable face from across said table, but," She leans further down so our lips are almost touching, "Do you know what I love the most?" She asks, her voice almost a whisper with a slight husk to it.

I'm so lost in the moment that all I can manage to do is gulp and slowly shake my head whilst staring into those amazing blue eyes of hers.

She smiles and bites her bottom lip, a cheeky grin slowly spreading itself across her face. She rubs her nose with mine and whispers, "Breakfast in bed."

With giggle's erupting from the pair of us, she grabs my hand and leads me back towards her bedroom. "Me too." I say as I manage to slam the bedroom door shut behind me.

As we get nearer the bed, she spins me round and I find myself falling backwards onto it, with her lying inches above me. I stare up into her gorgeous eyes for what feels like decades. I could stay here forever, safe, loved, everything I've ever wanted and needed.

Slowly she leans down, softly brushing her lips against my own. I glide my tongue slowly licking playfully at her soft, luscious lips, then slowly delving between them, her tongue racing out to meet me. I press into the kiss, wanting her, my tongue wrapping around hers, caressing and massaging as our hands begin to wander, finding every curve and rise in the other, her skin so soft and delicate under my fingers.

I feel her hands slowly wander up my front, caressing and teasing at the gentle curve under my breasts. Pressing myself into her, I force her over and back onto the bed, our lips still locked in our passionate kiss. Leaning back from the kiss as I straddle her, smiling down at the trapped beauty below me. A soft moan escaping my lips as her wandering hand reaches up and gently caresses my breasts, her fingers playing delicately around my hardened nipples, circling them and pinching lightly.

I tilt my head back slightly as her hands play gently at my breasts, feeling the fire between my legs burning white-hot, a long, loud moan escaping my lips as she gently grips my nipple between her fingers, twisting ever so gently. I look down at her, smiling, and lean in to kiss her softly, holding her hands back with my own and pressing my breasts firmly against hers. Soft moans and gasps escaping from both of our mouths.

Ever so slowly, I begin to move my hips down her body, pressing my heated center against her tight firm stomach, moaning softly as a slick moist trail gleams on her skin, still moving slowly downward. With a grin on my lips, I press into our kiss, tongues entwining and caressing. Then, with a final shift of my hips, I press my soft moist lips down against hers, feeling them connect instantly, skin melting and rubbing together as our bodies are set on fire by the sensations. Moans and groans of pleasure erupt from the both of us as our clits peek out, connecting and rubbing together, sending wild sensations up through both of our bodies.

I begin to move my hips faster, rolling together in our heated passion as the fire inside of us grow warmer, sweat dripping from our skin as we rub together endlessly, loud moans and cries of pleasure filling the room around us.

Suddenly I begin to feel her hips moving wildly, bucking into my own, her body twitching and shaking beneath mine as her orgasm floods through her tiny body. I grip her hands like a vice in my own as I feel my muscles tense, that intense pleasure spiralling up and down my body as my own orgasm rips through me. Arching my back, moaning and crying out to the ceiling, I press my hips tighter to Lily's, my body on fire with the amazing sensations.

Soon the fire that we share starts to smoulder down to the comfortable, warm feeling deep within us and I smile to myself as I lean down to place a soft, delicate kiss on Lily's lips.

She puts an arm out for me and I cuddle down and wrap myself around her. No words are needed to know how much we love and care for one another. Our mistakes from the past are long forgotten.

* * *

><p>I begin to wriggle my way off of Lily and stand at the edge of the bed, staring down at her.<p>

"Where are you going?" She asks, her cute goofy grin spreading across her face before realising I'm stood completely naked in front of her.

Just as she's about to look me up and down appreciatively, I slowly turn and head for the door, my ass swaying seductively from side to side as I feel her eyes holding it in their gaze.

Turning around as I reach the door, I give her a naughty little grin. "I think I might have my morning shower before lunch, care to join me?" With that I slowly make my way out of the room, grinning from ear to ear as I hear her swearing and shuffling to chase after me.

* * *

><p>Our day has been full of remembering how good we are together. Enjoying one another's company and basically acting like horny, teenagers again. Before all the shit that had happened before, we had only spent a week going out with each other and now it's like we're just starting our relationship for the first time all over again and having fun with it. Neither one of us wanting it to stop.<p>

Lily starts tickling me on the bed and through my laughter I try my best to push her away to stop. "Fuck off!" I squeal as she comes to lay herself on top of me, pinning me down with her entire body.

"Not until you say you're sorry!" She says through her own laughter and her tickling rampage on me.

I try to breath and calm down. "Okay, okay!" I say, still laughing slightly. "I'm sorry for saying what I did."

Lily finally stops tickling me and sits up, still straddling me on the bed. I try to even out my breathing as she looks down at me. "Sorry for what, Prescott?"

I giggle again as she goes to lean down towards me, a cheeky grin on her face. I clear my throat. "I'm sorry for calling you, Lily Loveless..." She raises her eyebrow as if challenging me to continue. "The Complete Wreck-head!" She starts to tickle me again. "No!" I try to shout as I start to laugh uncontrollably again.

I try to push her off but it's no use so I put my arms above my head, grab hold of a pillow and throw it at her. Hoping it'll stop her and stop making me laugh, it does the exact opposite. I manage to make myself laugh even harder as the pillow smacks her straight in the face and she stops at the sudden force that has hit her out of nowhere.

The look of bewilderment that spreads across her face as she stops dead and stares straight ahead as if trying to register what has just happened makes me piss myself laughing so hard that I find it hard to breathe.

"It was a pillow you fucking twat." I manage to say as I try to calm down.

I watch as she frowns and looks down towards the pillow but before she has a chance to respond, I push her over and straddle her. "What the-"

I laugh as I pin her arms above her head and lower myself down to her. "You know, 95% of tickle fights end with sex. Should have known you had this planned all along..." She grins as she leans up to kiss me but I move out of her reach and smirk at her. "Wreck-head!"

"Oi!" She grabs hold of the pillow and is about to hit me with it but stops when someone knocks on the front door. "Ugh, perfect timing, tosser." She says, rolling her eyes.

I sit up, still straddling her though. "Who is it?"

She frowns. "I dunno. Still a tosser though." I smile. "Ignore it and come back here."

Lily leans up towards me and goes to pull me back down to her. I smile and is about to let her but the knocking starts again. I sigh, knowing that whoever it is might not let up and there's no way I'll be fucking her whilst someone on the other side of the door can hear!

She frowns as I slowly get off of her. "You stay here, I'll tell them to get lost."

"Just leave it." She says, her voice full of annoyance.

I place a soft kiss on her lips and whisper softly. "I won't be long."

With that I walk away and pick up her shirt that I tore off of her not so long ago and put it on, remembering her telling me how much she loves me wearing it. I look over my shoulder and wink at her. I know the look would have made her weak because when I turn and walk out of the bedroom, I hear a _very_ frustrated sigh come from her as she falls back onto the bed.

I can't help but smile as I walk across the living room and towards the front door, not believing how quick it was to fall back to how we were before when we were happy and so in love. How amazing everything is and not wanting it to end. Not that we'll let it happen, that is.

I'm still smiling happily and in my own happy daydream when I open the front door that it takes a few moments before I finally realise who it is and my heart drops. The seriousness of what had happened before, hitting me like a ton of bricks and there's nothing I can do to stop what might happen.

A detective and two police officers are standing at the door, ready to arrest Lily for drink driving.

* * *

><p><strong>First and foremost, huge sorry that it's been so long. (I've been busy AND I kind of went to V Festival for my birthday and our tent was near Lily Loveless' and Kaya's so I just spent a whole weekend being a hopeless perv, lol) Hope all is forgiven? I know this chapter won't be long enough for you lot but... You know you like it!<strong>

**Secondly, _ShiraStimulation _Your 'Goddess Of Smut' is back!**

**Thirdly, _pixiedust123 _I'm almost done updating Skins: The Movie for you, so look out for it tomorrow sometime.**

**And finally, you know what to do by now. Please leave a lil review on your way out. Thanks muchly x**


	20. Arrests and unexpected guests

**Lily's POV**

After laying on the bed wondering who it was that had a death wish to interrupt mine and Kat's perfect day, I got up and threw on a shirt and wondered out of the bedroom to see who it was that had stolen my gorgeous lover from me. Only I soon wished I hadn't.

Half way from walking across the living room I stopped. I still didn't know who was at the door as Kathryn's back was blocking the intruder but I knew by the slumped shoulders of my little, red-headed beauty that something wasn't right. It wasn't until she turned her head to look back towards me, that I could see tears beginning to fill her beautiful brown eyes, and my heart stopped.

She smiled sadly at me as my eyes left hers to see two men slowly walk past her and into my flat. I knew then, that I was in trouble but I wanted nothing more then to stay where I was to comfort Kathryn. To let her know that everything was going to be okay and not to worry about it. Even if I was secretly wishing that she could do the same for me. For me to be in _her _arms and for her to tell _me _that everything's going to be alright.

Now I find myself sitting in a cold, grey interrogation room with my solicitor sitting next to me, waiting for the two men to walk back in and do their worst. And it's not long until they do.

I sit back in my chair and cross my arms, my hands still slightly shaking from nerves as they walk back in, along with a uniformed police officer, who closes the door after them and stands next to it, staring straight ahead, not looking at a single person in the room. The two detectives sit down opposite me, laying paperwork and files out onto the table. I expect them to be bitter and mean, instead, one passes me a cup of water, which I take a sip of appreciatively and place it back onto the table.

One of the men then turns slightly to turn the tape recorder on and faces me again. "This interview is being tape recorded. I'm Detective Sergeant Sean Coleman of Hackney Police and the other officer present here today is..."

The other detective speaks whilst moving some of the paperwork and files around on the table. "DS Andrew Ryan. Also of Hackney Police."

"We are in interview room one at The Hackney Police Station and this is the first interview of Miss. Lily Loveless, can you give us your full name for the benefit of the tape?"

I clear my throat, feeling my mouth going dry and my nerves beginning to get the better of me again. "Lily May Loveless."

"And your date of birth?"

"16th April, 1990."

DS Coleman smiles sadly at me then looks over at my solicitor. "Also present here today is..."

My solicitor stops writing in his notebook and looks up towards the detective. "Mr. Ian Grimsby, Miss. Loveless' solicitor."

"The time is 10:30 on Wednesday 5th October 2011. This interview is being conducted at The Hackney Police Station. This interview is being tape recorded and can be given in evidence if your case is brought to trial. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in Court, anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I reply, my voice slightly cracking with nerves.

"Miss. Loveless is here for the offence of drink driving and causing harm by dangerous driving."

DS Coleman sits back in his chair slightly. "Ok, Miss. Loveless. Can you explain to me on what caused you to start drinking heavily on Thursday 29th September 2011?"

I look at my solicitor nervously then back at the two detectives. "I, erm," I clear my throat and take a sip of water to calm my nerves. My hand shaking as I place it back onto the table. "I had broken up with my girlfriend and was still coming to terms with it."

He nods his head as if to understand. "Your girlfriend being Miss. Kathryn Prescott?"

I smile sadly at hearing her beautiful name. "Yes."

The other detective places a piece of paper that he's taken out of a file and places in front of DS Coleman who reads it before looking back up at me. "I understand that you went to Berlin to try to win her back just a few days before your accident. Is this true?"

I nod my head again. "Yes, that's true."

"And how did that go?"

I take a deep breath as I start to feel the tears coming in my eyes as I remember exactly what had happened in Berlin all over again. To see her broken and telling me that she would never be able to forget before walking away from me. Leaving me alone and on my own to think that I would never be able to have her back in my arms again.

"Not very well."

"Is it possible that what had happened in Berlin, led to the events that happened a few days afterwards?"

I try not to snort and roll my eyes. Well, of course it fucking was, twat. "Yeah."

"Can you describe to us on how you were feeling when you were back home in London, Miss. Loveless?"

I look at my solicitor as if hoping he could stop me from going through everything again. The tears forming in my eyes were bound to fall whilst I relive everything that I want to try and forget about. Surely he would know that just by looking at me. Know that I might be an uncontrollable mess on the floor.

But no, the fucker just slowly nods then turns to carry on writing in his little black notebook, looking all important in his Italian suit. I sigh and face the two detectives in front of me.

"Take your time, Miss. Loveless." Says DS Ryan whilst pushing my cup of water closer to me with a sympathetic look on his face.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I sigh again and take a deep breath. Guess I'll have to start talking about _feelings _and all that shit then.

* * *

><p>"You were great, Miss. Loveless." My solicitor says whilst handing me a tissue to dry my tears on, before turning his attention back onto his writing.<p>

We're both alone in the interrogation room, after what I feel, was the worst two hours of my life, after being made to relive everything that happened over the past month that I've wanted to forget about, in minute detail.

I look at him wide eyed with annoyance. "You do know that although I might be an actress, I wasn't actually trying to get an award for that, right?"

He stops writing and places his pen down whilst turning around in his chair to face me.

"That wasn't what I meant, Miss. Loveless." He sighs and for once, actually looks like he cares about me and this 'case' as he so nicely keeps on putting it.

"Usually people in these situations kick up a fuss and fight against the system. You on the other hand gave them exactly what they were wanting. It may have caused you a lot of stress and discomfort, but it actually helped you in a way. They know that your not an angry, viscous and dangerous person. But a kind, caring person who has been hurt by their own actions and of the actions from the one person they love and gave everything for. It's what they sometimes call a character reference. They would have seen you in front of them, taken note of everything from not only on what you were saying, but also from the way you acted and your reactions on things. From that alone, they may have thought that it may have been very out of character for you to have committed the crimes that you are under arrest for."

I sit back, just starring at him. Maybe he's not so bad after all.

"Now I know from experience with many other cases, that you'll now be nervous on what will happen to you next, so to save you asking, we'll talk about everything now. And if you have any questions, no matter how stupid you think they may be, just ask, because they may actually be very important and will stop you fretting about it."

I watch him turn back round to his notebook and pen and bite my lip to stop me from smiling at him as this time, he picks them up and puts them in his briefcase along with everything else he has on the table in front of him.

"Thank you." I say quietly when he turns back again, a small smile playing on his lips. It's the first time I've actually seen him smile and it's nice to know that although you're in the shit, there's someone there helping you and taking your problems on as if their own.

Even if they are being paid a shit load of money and only out to add another winning mark on becoming victorious in the Court room.

"Okay, so first things first is the hearing. Now most drink driving offences are dealt at the first hearing. If you are pleading guilty, the Court will then wish to hear your mitigation and will impose a punishment as soon as you submission has been heard."

I'm not sure if he noticed my blank, confused look I gave when I heard the word _mitigation_, but he smiles again and back tracks. I doubt his patience will last by the end of this because me and legal words and stuff just don't mix well together. I'd be screwed if I ever get a part in a crime drama like Trial And Retribution or something.

"With the mitigation, you will need to explain how the offence occurred, the implication any punishment will have and what steps will be taken to prevent any further errors. But I alone know already that drink driving is totally out of character for you, so your character reference will help you and will be taken into consideration."

I nod, slowly understanding. "Okay, and who decides wether I plead guilty or not guilty?"

"You do and the best thing you can do is to plead guilty. As tempting as it sounds to plead not guilty, it will do you no favours. It'll only make it harder for you. Everything that's stacked up against you is already in your favour anyway. You have no previous convictions and I can also help fight your case with you being a successful, hard working actress. You mentioned that you are in the _very_ final stages of filming the _Skins Movie_, therefore, the Court will take that into consideration. You've also told me that you've already started doing some very early film work ready for _Triptych_ too. Again the Courts will take this into consideration as it means involving even more work and back log with the film companies etc. It basically means more time and money and I will try to remind them of this at every available opportunity too."

I sit back listening and think of how it's all too good to be true. You'd think I would be relieved but then I think of why I'm here and think that I may never see Kat again and I don't think I could bear that.

Just not being with her when we broke up was bad enough, and that was when I could still phone her and go to her house whenever I wanted, even if she didn't want to see me, there was always that chance of just getting up and doing it.

But to think that a few people in a Court room can send me to prison so easily and then I _definitely_ would never be able to see her or talk to her when I wanted is just too much to bear. I honestly don't think I would be able to survive that.

I take a deep breath and release it slowly, trying to calm myself down and not to break down in front of my solicitor yet again. He probably thinks that I'm a complete wreck head as it is.

"Your breath test that was taken just shortly after the time of your crash was between 71-85 with your blood test coming back as between 162-195."

"What does that mean?" I ask, confused.

"It means that you could be banned from driving for up to 2 years, plus the risk of community service. They may consider the community service along with the ban, but as I said, we have a lot stacked up in your favour, therefore I strongly believe that you may receive a minimum reduction ban of up to 6 months with _no_ community service."

I can't help but be relieved at hearing that and smile, but before I have time to take it in fully, he continues.

"If they only reduce your ban to 6 months with no community service then that's because they will also be putting you onto a rehabilitation course."

"What? You mean I'll be going to rehab?" I ask, confused that they would do that even though I only drank one bottle of vodka. At least I think it was only one bottle. _And_ I don't always drink _that _much all the time either. _Rehab?_

"Yes. Unless you prefer the more severe worst case scenario."

I hold my breath. "And what would that be?"

"If they believe the offence is more serious then it is, then it's a 6 month prison sentence, a £5,000 fine, a driving ban that could last 3 years and possibly penalty points of somewhere between 3 and 11."

My eyes go wide with shock. They can't do that, surely? I've only just got Kat, so they _can't. _They just _can't. _I really _really would _without her!

Before I could think about it anymore and worry, he smiles at me and stands up, picking up his briefcase.

"But that's the worst case scenario. Plead guilty, do as I say, and like I said, you may only receive the 6 month ban along with your little rehab sessions."

I sigh, suddenly feeling worse then when I first walked in here. I watch as he puts his hand out for me to shake, which I do.

"It's lovely meeting you Miss. Loveless, it's such a shame that it's under these circumstances. But," He says as he slowly walks towards the door. "We will be meeting plenty over the next week or so and I believe it'll end much nicer."

I smile my thanks and watch as he opens the door, ready to leave when realisation hits me. "Where are you going? Am I allowed to go?"

"The detectives should be back shortly to let you have your phone call. I think you'll be here for a little while longer whilst they tie up loose ends. I shouldn't worry though, it's just procedure."

We shake hands again and before I know it, he's gone and I'm alone in the room.

I walk over and sit in the chair, biting my lip as I wonder if this is what it would be like. Sitting in a cold, dark, grey room by yourself. Feeling more alone then you ever have been before and wondering when you'll ever go home, back to the one you love most. If they would still be waiting for you after years inside a prison. And if they couldn't, picturing them with a new life and a new lover to go home to. Wondering if they would ever give you a minutes thought again whilst raising their 2.5 family without you.

I can't bear thinking about Kat with someone else, let alone thinking that she could forget everything about me too. She's the only one who really _knows _me.

Suddenly the two detectives walk in, both stop to stand in front of me and I stand up to face them.

"Am I allowed to go now?" I ask, almost relieved at seeing them again.

"Miss. Lily May Loveless, we are charging you with the crimes of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol, causing harm by dangerous driving and causing severe damage by dangerous driving. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in Court, anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand?"

* * *

><p><strong>Kat's POV<strong>

I found myself tidying up Lily's flat after she was taken away to the police station. I'm not sure why, perhaps it was a way of taking my mind on what was happening. I hate not knowing what is going on and it seems worse when Lily's involved.

I was just finishing tidying the living room when there was a knock on the door. I drop everything and rush to open the front door, a huge smile on my face at knowing she's back home. I just want to give her a great big hug and kiss, to tell her that everything is going to be okay as I know that that's what she'll be wanting right now. I know that that's what she was wanting the moment the detectives came for her.

When I open the door though, I don't see Lily in front of me. The feeling of disappointment and surprise hitting me.

"Kaya?" I ask, frowning at her and looking even more confused when I see that she has what looks like 5 overnight bags at her feet. "What are you doing?"

Kaya smiles happily, as if not noticing my confusion and picks up her bags.

"I've come to stay with you, what does it look like?"

I still don't get it, even more so when Kaya steps forward but stops when she realises that I'm in her way and still not moving.

"Going to let me in then, flatmate?" Kaya asks, smiling brightly.

I sigh and move out of the way slightly to let her walk in. As she heads inside, I remain standing in the doorway. I turn to look out of the door and around the empty corridor as if in search of someone, thinking this is some sort of Joke. Lily will pop her head round the corner in a minute, pissing herself laughing as if nothing has happened.

But nothing.

Not seeing anyone or anything of interest I sigh again and turn around. Still frowning with confusion I let the door shut behind me and walk towards Kaya who already seems to be making herself at home.

* * *

><p><strong>I fear that this chapter was too legal minded and quite possibly boring? But I have to get past it in order to get to the next part. So if it is boring for some of you, I'm sorry. Forgive me? I also wanted to get this one out quicker too but then I went away on holiday instead. My bad.<strong>

**Seems like I surprised some of you with the last chapter. Quite a few liked it, others not so much. But don't worry, it was just to make you aware of how happy they are with one another again. I won't be making a habit out of it, as it's back to the drama once more.**

**Had some amazing reviews so thank you, especially to _Fionna224_ who read all 19 chapters in one day! You amaze me :)**

**And _Meinke13_? You know I love your reviews and tweets on this!**

**Oh and I _HAVE _to mention it (only because it's starting _right now)_ Have any of you been watching _The Fades_? How amazing is it to see Lily on our screens again? Even if the programme is a little strange. I'm only watching it for my weekly viewing of The Loveless, and boy, haven't I missed it!**


	21. I'm here for you

**Kat's POV**

I watch Kaya as she drops her bags down on the floor next to the sofa and walks happily over to the kitchen, leaving me standing on my own and still not understanding anything that's happening.

"Kaya?" I ask, frowning. "What do you mean you're staying here?"

She turns round and smiles brightly at me, "It means... I'm staying here." She says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world whilst throwing her hands up in the air to empathise it, before turning back round again.

I look at her back as if it's going to give me more answers. It doesn't.

"Kay?" I say, sighing. "None of this is making much sense to me right now. All I need is to see Lily and to sleep-"

"She called me." She cuts me off halfway through my sentence and my eyes grow wide.

"What do you mean, she_ called _you?" I ask, both confused and slightly angry.

Kaya shrugs as she gets herself a beer from the fridge, "She called me from the police station."

"She called _you?_" I snap. The fact that she's making herself at home in _Lily's _flat and knowing her own way around the place as if she's done it many times before, doesn't help the fire of anger and jealousy that's starting to rip it's way through my tired and exhausted body.

"Why would she have used her one and only phone call at the police station, to call _you?_"

She stops sipping from her bottle and just stares at me as if I've grown two heads. I raise my eyebrow as if to challenge her. It works.

"Kathryn," She sighs and places the glass bottle onto the table and starts walking towards me but I stand firm, eyeing her suspiciously with my hands on my hips.

"You need to calm down. The only reason why she called me was so she didn't worry or upset you. She phoned me to ask if I could stay with you for however long they keep her in that God forsaken pit of a place." She smiles. "Her words, not mine."

I bite my lip as I take in what she said. "So, she phoned you not to worry and upset me?"

She frowns. "That's what I said, yes. And what Lily said, of course."

I snort, "Well, I _did _worry and I _am _upset and now I'm _angry_ and I want to go and fucking _kill_ her and-"

Before I get to finish the sentence Kaya grabs hold of me and pulls me into her for a hug. It's only then that I realise that I had started crying my eyes out whilst shouting at her. I had been so angry at the fact that Lily had chosen to phone Kaya over me that I hadn't realised that I had even done it.

Did Lily not think that I wanted to speak to her or even just to hear her voice? To make sure that she was okay? Surely she knew that she could have rung me, then asked _me_ to ask Kaya over!

Did she not want to speak to me?

And what exactly _is_ happening to her in there?

Will I see her again? To see her walk through the door towards me, her arms open wide with a goofy smile on her face or will they just whisk her off to some prison before she ever has the chance to speak to me?

A million and one questions fire through my brain whilst I openly cry on Kaya's shoulder, her soft words subconsciously calming me.

After what feels like an eternity, she slowly walks me over to a chair and sits me down, gently brushing the tears from my face whilst pushing the hair out of my eyes and sits down in the chair opposite me.

"You need to stop worrying about her for at least an hour and concentrate on yourself otherwise you'll be a complete state again." She says quietly.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and take a deep breath, nodding my head. "I know, you're right."

She smiles. "I bet you've had nothing to eat, so leave it to me and I'll fix us something up." She looks over my shoulder, towards the sofa. "Why don't you go and make yourself more comfortable? Chill and relax and I'll be right over with something to eat, okay?"

I nod again and make my way over to the sofa where I lay down and instantly start to feel better as I feel my whole body start to relax against the softness of the cushions. I close my eyes and let the tiredness wash over me.

As I start to feel myself fall to sleep, I try to push away the horrible thoughts of Lily being locked up and all alone in a cell and concentrate on gorgeous, blue eyes staring back me, smiling happily instead.

But there's something about those blue eyes that are just not, quite right...

* * *

><p>I woke up not long after to find that Kaya had given up on trying to cook us something and had opted for a take-away instead. Not that I minded much. I woke to my stomach making the loudest and most strangest noises I've ever heard and knew that no matter what kind of food she got, I'd eat it.<p>

So me and Kaya ate and drank a few beers. A few hours after that and we had found that we had been enjoying one another's company a bit too much as we had gotten through a lot more beer then intended. Letting the alcohol get rid of our worries, whilst Kaya sat on the floor, leaning against one of the sofa's and me laying on the floor, both with a drink in our hands. Both of us content and lost in our own thoughts.

"She'll will be okay, won't she?" I say after a moment of quietness, looking up at the swirling patterns on the ceiling above us.

She giggles slightly, "This _is _Lily we're talking about here. 'Course she'll be okay."

I smile with her. She's right, of course she's going to be alright.

"I can't help but think that I'm the reason why she's currently locked away though."

Kaya looks down at me and frowns. "Why?"

I bite my lip and sit up to lean against the sofa next to her, own arms brushing against one another.

I sigh. "Why didn't I forgive her sooner? I loved her no matter what had happened, it was just a trust and forgiveness issue. If I had taken her back, then she would never have gotten into that damn car and drove off drunk."

I take a deep breath to stop the tears as I remember seeing her in the state she was in, back at the hospital.

"Hey," Kaya puts her hand on mine to calm me a little. "You can't blame yourself for what's happened. She has a brain of her own, unfortunately she just made a lot of wrong choices with it."

"But she tried really hard to win me back, yet I kept pushing her away."

"Yeah and for good reasons too, Kat." She sighs and puts her bottle down and turns to face me, my hand still in hers. "You can't keep blaming yourself for what's happened. _Neither _of you can blame one another. What happened, happened. You need to forget about it and move on."

I bite my lip, knowing that she's right.

"You both love each other and would do absolutely _anything _for one another, that's the main thing. You also know that she would trust you with her life, and I know you can with her no matter what. What happened with her and that fuckwit ex of hers, hurt you yes, of course it would have, but she's never regretted something so much in all of her life. And she's done everything in her power to get you back."

I nod my head agreeing with her. "I know." I say quietly. "And now I've got her locked up and it's all my fault."

Kaya sighs. "What have I just said to you? You mustn't go blaming yourself, Kathryn. Right now, you need to be strong and think positive. She needs you now more then ever."

I take a sip of my drink. "You think she'll get sent away? To prison, I mean."

Kaya picks her drink back up and slouches back against the sofa, looking to be thinking. After a short while, she sighs. "I don't know, Kat. She did do something rather stupid."

I say nothing, silently agreeing with her.

"We'll just have to wait and see what happens, I suppose." She turns her head and looks at me. "You going to be ok?"

I nod. "I'm going to have to be, aren't I? Have to be strong for the both us, just like you said."

I watch as she bites her bottom lip and gently smiles. "She'll hate this, you know."

I turn my head to face her, "Hate what?" I ask, confused.

With the hand, holding her bottle, she motions around us. "This. _Us. _Moping around, worried about her. Feeling sad and well, feeling like fucking shit at the not knowing." She says, not realising that she's almost spilling her drink.

I'm not sure if it's just because of the amount of alcohol we've drank but I start to giggle. "Yeah, she'd go fucking crazy if she saw us, wouldn't she?"

"Yep." She says as she turns her head back to look at me.

"So from now, we're going to stop moping."

She smiles. "We're going to stop moping."

I smile back, "And we're going to stop worrying about her because if she was here, she'd say we're being fucking ridiculous."

Kaya giggles, "We're going to stop worrying because we're fucking ridiculous."

I laugh and raise my bottle towards her. "So here's to no more moping, no more worrying and to being there for her... together."

We clink our bottles to seal our toast and I smile up to Kaya to find her blue eyes staring back at me, happily. Her hand still in mine.

"Together." Kaya repeats as she takes another sip from her bottle, a grin slowly spreading across her face.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

I walk down the corridor and realise how tired I am. The events of everything that's happened have been taking their toll against my body and all I feel like doing is to fall on my bed and fall asleep and not wake up for a month at least!

I smile lazily to myself. No, scrap that. I want to fall on my bed and fall asleep and not wake up for at least a month, with Kat in my arms the whole time. Now _that's _a much better idea.

I open the door to my flat and notice the take-away cartons and beer bottles all over the living room table and floor straight away and smile. Hm, the way to look after my lovely Kathryn whilst I'm gone was to get her drunk then, was it Kaya?

Then I realise something and frown.

My flat is a one level flat in London. No stairs to bedrooms as obviously it's not a house. Everything's on the one level. The kitchen and living area all serve as a big main space with a door over at the right near the living area which leads to the main bedroom. _My _bedroom. The _only _bedroom.

Kat and Kaya are both home. The lights are on and their phones and things are here. But _where _are they.

I eye the bedroom door suspiciously as I drop my bag to the floor and ever so slowly walk towards it. Once I'm in front of it, I take a deep breath and gently push it open.

_Oh._

* * *

><p><strong>Katya... Katya... Nice name, pretty... Katya. *Carries on reading fanfiction again*<strong>

**Kat and Kaya. Who would have thought it, hey?**

**Please leave a little review or something to let me know what you think.**

**I know it's only a small chapter but I'm going to try and get a second update out as _vivi_dynamite _has bullied me into doing it as a way of making her love me again! So you all have her to thank :)**


	22. You want a revelation

**Lily's POV**

As I open the door, my breath catches in my throat and I don't know what to think at the sight I see in front of me.

Wether it's the tiredness and exhaustion that I've been battling against, I don't know, but instead of fighting I just turn back round and face the living room. The empty beer bottles and take-away cartons are all the proof I need to know that they would have enjoyed their evening together. And without me.

I sigh and walk over to one of the sofas and I lay down whilst putting the TV on and let the music calm me. Too tired to move and too exhausted to think about the situation in the bedroom.

The prospect of going to prison is the only problem I've really got an issue with right now as I know everything else will be made clear later when Kat and Kaya get up and out of their slumber. I just hope that whatever happened last night between them isn't as bad as I think it could be.

And if it is? Would it matter when I'm in a prison on the other side of England, leaving Kathryn to do whatever she wants, when she wants and with whoever?

_You are the night time fear_  
><em>You are the morning when it's clear<em>  
><em>When it's over, you will start<em>  
><em>You're my head, you're my heart.<em>

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_  
><em>I never knew daylight could be so violent<em>  
><em>A revelation in the light of day...<em>

As the energy that's left leaves my body, I no longer what to dwell on what may have or may not have happened. I let my eyes start to close shut and I feel my body begin to drift off towards sleep. Images of Kat and Kaya, of prisons and locked doors soon enter my tired, messed up mind.

_You want a revelation_  
><em>You want to get it right<em>  
><em>But it's a conversation<em>  
><em>I just can't have tonight...<em>

* * *

><p>I'm woken to the noise of pots and pans being knocked together in the kitchen. I take a few moments to wake up properly, stretching and wiping the sleep from my eyes as the room comes back into view more clearly.<p>

After a few more moments, I remember back to last night. From leaving the police station to coming back home and finding Kat and Kaya. To falling asleep on the sofa and waking up a few times in the night due to a few horrible dreams and nightmares that I kept having.

I yawn due to the broken sleep I had and slowly sit up, looking over the top of the sofa to see Kaya in the kitchen, no doubt making breakfast. I turn back and frown as I notice that she's tidied up the mess that she and Kat had made from last night. Not wanting to prolong it anymore, I get up and slowly walk over to her in the kitchen.

"Morning." I say, my voice still rather husky from my sleep but also slightly cold as I remember seeing her with Kathryn together last night.

She quickly turns round to face me, a huge grin on her face, oblivious to the icy stance that I have with her as she's too happy that I've been released from police custody. "Lily! You're awake."

She gives me a hug then steps back, a smile still plastered on her face. "I saw you this morning when I got up but I didn't want to disturb you as I knew you wouldn't have gotten much sleep."

I bite back the urge of saying that I bet she never did either, instead I turn to look back over my shoulder towards the bedroom then back at Kaya. "Is er... Is Kathryn awake?"

She turns her back towards me and busies herself. "No, don't think so. I left her to sleep because she was shattered from last night."

I snort and shake my head as I lean against the side of the breakfast bar. "And what about you? You sleep well?"

"I did actually. Think the alcohol helped a little." She smiles as she looks back at me. "I'm cooking a Full English Breakfast, I know you love those. Why don't you go and surprise Kathryn and tell her it's almost ready, then we can talk."

I bite my lip and just stare at her for a few moments whilst she finished off the breakfast, not trusting myself to say anything until I know exactly happened between her and Kat.

I turn around and walk away but just as I get to the bedroom door I turn back round again.

"Yeah, we _do _need to talk and just so you know," I try to act like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth whilst smiling at her, "Kat's a slight vegetarian so she won't eat a single thing that you've just cooked for her. The cereal that she likes is up in the cupboard near you, along with the milk in the fridge which is on the second shelf down as she's fussy with what sort of milk she has too." I shrug. "You know, just so you know."

With that, I turn back round disappear into the bedroom, leaving her looking slightly gobsmacked in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>As I walk into the bedroom, I stop and take in the sight I see in front of me. Kathryn looking so peaceful in our bed, sleeping. It always seems to surprise me that she can always look so gorgeous, even when she's fast asleep, she manages to take my breath away.<p>

Then I sigh as I remember Kaya also being in _our _bed too and the pain instantly clutches at my heart again.

I walk over and open the curtains, to let some light in and look back down at her. A smile slowly working it's way across my face against my will, at the sheer beauty that's laying in my bed.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and stare at her whilst gently brushing some of her hair off of her beautiful face.

She stirs slightly and I can't help but melt as she quietly mumbles something in her sleep. She probably thinks that I'm in bed with her and saying that we should have cuddle time for another five minutes before getting up.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm doing exactly that. Almost.

I climb into bed with her and gently lay on my side to look at her sleeping form, the sunlight lighting up her face beautifully and making her look even more sweeter then she already is to me.

As if knowing I'm there, she instantly moves closer to me and I wrap my arm around her small waist, pulling her closer into me whilst kissing the top of her head, I scold myself for realising how quickly I've carried things on like normal. Any normal person would have gone crazy at thinking another woman has slept in the same bed as your girlfriend!

Maybe it's because we're still building up the trust and this is my way of showing that we can be trusted. Or maybe I'm trying to push the thought of her being with someone else to the side once I'm found guilty. But there's also a part of me knowing that she wouldn't do that to me, not with Kaya anyway. It was just a horrible misunderstanding. It has to be. And I'm going to give her the time to explain it to me. I'm finally too tired for all of our fighting now.

I feel her stir against me again and smile when I feel her pull me into her and kiss my neck before hearing a satisfied murmur.

"Hey." I hear her say, her voice thick and husky from a lengthy sleep.

"Hey." I whisper back, holding her tighter to me and kissing the top of her head again.

"They let you go." She says, sounding more like she's convincing herself that I really am here.

I look down towards her, the smile spreading even more at seeing her sleepy self adjusting to the light in the room before deciding it's far too bright for her and snuggles even further into me.

"I missed you." She murmurs against my chest.

"I missed you too." I say whilst I gently start to stroke her side.

It's quiet and peaceful for a few more moments as I let her wake up properly and whilst my mind quickly fills with questions once my eyes land on a top on the floor. A top that I know doesn't belong to Kat and it certainly doesn't belong to me.

"Sleep well without me?" I ask, still keeping my voice low in the quietness of the room.

"Think the alcohol helped a little."

I snort and try not to do an eye roll that I'm getting famous for. "Funny. That's the same answer Kaya gave me."

"You've seen Kaya already?"

"Hm." I decide to see how she'll play it. Make her wonder how much I know, not that I know anything.

"She was good last night."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath whilst shaking my head, but open my eyes again when I feel her soft hand on my cheek.

"I was angry with you at first. For not phoning _me _at the police station. But I understand why you done it now."

I stare back at her, her beautiful chocolate eyes boring into mine. "You do?"

She nods. "Yeah. I know that I would have been a complete wreck if I spoke to you. She managed to calm me. She was amazing."

I close my eyes and gently move to sit on the edge of the bed, my back to her.

"It's bad isn't it?" I hear her worried voice ask. "That's why you've not mentioned anything yet."

I take a deep breath and open my eyes only to see Kaya's top starring back up at me on the floor like it's trying to torture me.

"Kaya says-"

I cut her off as I stand up and walk over to the door. "Kaya says breakfast is ready." I say as I walk out of the door and back into the kitchen without a backwards glance.

* * *

><p>I walk into the kitchen and notice that Kaya has laid the table, including Kathryn's bowl of cereal, which irritates me more then seeing Kaya sitting opposite it, watching me. But, I ignore her and get myself a glass of water, keeping my back turned towards her.<p>

"Morning you."

I almost gag at the over the top voice Kaya used to speak to Kat and I hear a chair scrape along the floor, letting me know that they'll be looking at one another from across the table, all happy smiles.

"Morning. Breakfast looks good, thanks Kay."

"You're welcome."

I finish my glass of water and place it in the sink and take a deep breath, wondering why such little things are getting to me so much. After a few more moments, I turn back round and sit down at the table, two sets of eyes staring back at me.

"Thanks for this, Kaya." I say, clearing my throat and not looking up at her but down at my plate.

"That's okay. You don't have to eat anything, just thought that I'd give you a lot as I don't know what they would have been feeding you in that place, or how often."

I look up at her and see that she's wearing a sad smile. I then almost jump out of my skin when I feel a soft hand gently place themselves onto my leg under the table but soon relax again when I realise it's Kat.

"Lily, are you okay?" Kaya asks worried.

I just nod my head and look over at Kathryn who looks just as worried.

"You've been acting strange but I guess it's understandable. Just know that we're here for you okay?" I sigh and nod at Kathryn, not having enough energy to have an argument as to what happened between them.

"Kaya also said last night that we're to leave you to yourself for a bit, when you come home. That's what I tried to tell you in bed, but you seemed to have stormed off in a mood."

I stare back at the pair of them, frowning.

"I told Kat that it's probably best if we don't mention anything, just incase you've come back with bad news, hence why you've not brought the subject up yet. If it was good news then you would have woken us up the minute you came back."

I bite my lip to stop me from replying to that and inhale a deep breath instead.

"I'll find out exactly what happens tomorrow. I've to go to Court at 11am."

Brown eyes widen and the grip on my leg tightens. "But it looks good though, doesn't it?" Kat looks between me and Kaya, her eyes clearly fighting the tears that are threatening to fall.

I sigh. "I don't know, Kat. I just don't know."

She's just about to get up and give me a hug but stops suddenly when I speak again.

"What happened between you two last night?"

Kaya looks at Kat before looking back at me, almost nervously. She clears her throat but Kat speaks.

"I told you. She was amazing last night, Lily. She really calmed me and" She laughs slightly. "We even made a promise that we wouldn't mope around or anything because we thought you'd think we were being fucking ridiculous."

Kaya laughs gently too. "I know I'll be in the wrong with you for getting your girlfriend a little drunk as that's not exactly how you would have thought I'd look after her for you, but well, it seemed to calm not just Kat but also me from wondering what the hell was happening with you. We were really worried about you."

I look up at her and realise how worried she still looks to be.

Kat gets up and sits in my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. "When you phoned Kaya and not me, I didn't think I'd ever speak to you again. It hurt that you chose her over me but then I realised why and I thank you for that because without Kaya being here, I think I would have fell apart."

I breath out slowly and look at Kaya over her shoulder before looking into the brown eyes that I love so much. I was just about to question why she and Kaya was in bed together when Kat speaks again. And I'm glad she did otherwise I think World War Three could have erupted if I had questioned the trust issue we seem to have again.

"I couldn't sleep as I was missing you so much and the worrying didn't help so I asked Kaya to sleep in with me."

My eyes snap over to Kaya when she speaks, the beating of my heart already going ten to the dozen at finally hearing the explanation.

"I was going to sleep on the sofa." She laughs. "Well, I actually passed out on the sofa to begin with but woke to find Kat shaking me awake. She had gone to bed but hadn't dropped off as like she said, she was worried about you. So I hope you don't mind but I did kind of, in a way, sleep with your girl." She said, still smiling.

I bite my lip and raise my eyebrow but look back at Kat whose smiling.

"The dozy tart was going to sleep on the floor, but I told her no. You wouldn't mind her bunking in with me for the night."

Kaya's voice brings me to look over Kat's shoulder again, towards her and finding her smirking.

"So, yeah. Like I said, I hope you don't mind."

I clear my throat and shake my head. "Er, no, no. Not at all." I take a deep breath and face Kat again.

"I was so worried and upset about you that I think I may have fell asleep in her arms. She tried to calm me but because I was a little tipsy, I think we eventually fell into an exhausted sleep."

A smile slowly creeps its way across my face as I remember seeing them together, last night.

* * *

><p><em>As I open the door, my breath catches in my throat and I don't know what to think at the sight I see in front of me.<em>

_Kathryn laying in bed, her face nuzzled into Kaya's neck and her hand around Kaya's waist whilst Kaya's arms are wrapped tightly around her, legs entangled in bed sheets. Both fast asleep._

* * *

><p>Kathryn and Kaya are now laughing their heads off at one another, tears almost falling down their faces.<p>

"You snore by the way."

"No, I do not!"

"You _so _do."

"Lily babe, tell her. I _definitely _do not snore!"

"How would you know? You'd be asleep!"

I bite my lip as my smile starts to grow bigger and bigger at how stupid I could be.

Relief rushes through me at knowing that nothing had happened between them. I didn't have the energy to fight back, so if something had happened, I don't know what I would have done or how I would have reacted. Just the single thought that Kat could be with someone else so easily whilst I'm gone is horrible. But to be honest, having her cuddled into me on my lap, when she was hugging me close to her, I don't think she could handle it either.

I laugh along with them. "You do sweetheart, you do snore."

Kat spins round to face me, about to disagree with me no doubt.

"And you talk in your sleep... when you're not dribbling that is!"

Me and Kaya piss ourselves laughing at Kathryn's face as she looks to be in somewhat, sheer shock.

* * *

><p><strong>Did I fool you into thinking that I was shipping Kat and Kaya? I did? Good. Because that was my intention and it was <em>never<em> going to happen between them either. _Lily_ and Kaya on the other hand... Well _naomily_13 _is just a tinsy little bit right, just watch out for that Kaya!**

**Anyways, you all have _vivi_dynamite_ to thank for your two updates today, so go thank her, 'cause she's awesome!**

**Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the next update, but my crazy life likes to keep getting in the way of my creativity so I can't promise anything, but you may leave a little review or three to push me into giving you them. Reviews are _always _welcome and _always_ make me smile :)**

**Oh, and incase you were wondering because it's such an amazing song, the song is _No Light, No Light_ from _Florence + The Machine_ and is on the brand new album... it's also going to be the very next single of hers! She gets chased by neon pink voodoo gremlins in the video so if that doesn't make you love it already, I don't know what will... so get hold of it when you can... that's an order ;)**


	23. Court day

**Lily's POV**

"I feel like Naomi." I say, biting my bottom lip whilst staring at my reflection in the mirror once I'd finished getting dressed up and looking smart for Court.

Kat frowns, confused. "You _are _Naomi."

I stare at her, unamused. "No, idiot. I mean, I feel like Naomi because this is where she'd be with her life in Skins at some point. But me?" I shake my head, "I only crashed a pissing car for fucks sake."

Kat smiles, "Yeah, whilst under the influence of alcohol and under much distress because of the loss of your much loved one who had your heart completely."

I continue to stand, watching her unamused, whilst she cracks up laughing.

"This isn't funny. I could get sent down for this!"

Her laughs die down and she clears her throat. "Sorry."

I sigh and look down to the floor, before I know it, she's right there in front of me, her small hand bringing my face up to look into her beautiful, brown eyes.

"It's going to be okay." She says, knowing that I'm worried as fuck at what might happen. "You have a good lawyer. Please, don't worry too much. For me."

It's only then that I realise that her brown eyes are full of worry and something else. She's scared.

I pull her into me, holding her close and whisper, "You're right, I'm going to be fine. And I'm going to be standing right here with you again tonight and holding you. I won't be going anywhere. I promise."

I feel her smile against my shoulder and she looks up to me. "I love you."

I can't help but smile back, "I love you too."

She looks me up and down in my smart outfit, our hands still joined and when our eyes meet again, they're no longer full worry. "You're going to knock them dead... Good job you're not up for a murder charge."

I giggle at her. No matter how worried or scared I get, she always manages to make me smile.

* * *

><p>After what could have been my final breakfast, I said an emotional and very teary goodbye to Kat. Kaya reminded us that it's not going to be a goodbye and we'll be having a laugh and a drink about it all tonight when I come back home.<p>

I smiled at them as they got into the car and drove off to the Court, whilst I stood outside my flat, waiting for my lawyer to arrive.

I enjoyed the peace and quiet of the street I live in and remembered the times I've had here whilst looking around me. I was soon grateful for seeing the silver car pull up beside me as I was starting to feel the tears getting closer. I had to try to remain strong. If not for me, then for Kathryn and my friends and family.

I got into the front of the car and we drove off, making our own way to the Court. My lawyer briefing me in on what to say and what to expect when I get there.

Before I knew what was happening, I found myself at the Court and about to stand trial for my stupid actions.

I asked if it was possible to see Kathryn or even Kaya as they're the only ones who seem to calm me but I wasn't allowed to see anyone but my lawyer. I sighed as I was lead down a corridor and into a holding cell, waiting to be called up to the Courtroom.

I've never felt so afraid or so lonely in my entire life.

I was given a glass of water and sat at the table, not ready to re-live everything that I went through for one final time. The last time I felt like this, lonely, afraid and even more so, _lost_, it almost got me killed. And now I have to pay the price for it.

_In my place, in my place_  
><em>Were lines that I couldn't change<em>  
><em>I was lost, Oh yeah<em>,

_I was lost, I was lost_  
><em>Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed<em>  
><em>I was lost, oh yeah.<em>

I was told that I'll get pushed to say things and pushed even further to the brink that I might even break down in the dock as the entire truth has to be heard of exactly what had happened. That my emotions will get the better of me.

So I now find myself sitting back and letting all of the images and memories rush back into my brain and I can see everything so clearly, just like it had happened yesterday.

_I was scared, I was scared_  
><em>Tired and under prepared<em>  
><em>But I'll wait for it.<em>

I'm so lost in my thoughts, that I don't realise that my lawyer has pulled up a chair and is sitting next to me. Nor, did I realise the tissue he was trying to give me and what he was saying. I was so busy letting the memories take me over again, that I hadn't realised that I had been crying my eyes out. Not just because of what I was remembering, but because of the thoughts that Kathryn may not want to see me again when she hears what I _have_ say in the Courtroom.

_If you go, if you go_  
><em>And leave me down here on my own<em>  
><em>Then I'll wait for you.<em>

* * *

><p>As I'm lead up the stairs towards the Courtroom by two Crown Court officers, I suddenly think that this is it. Whatever happens in this room today, it'll have some sort of impact on my life and will change things. Wether it'll change things for the better or worse, we'll find out sooner or later.<p>

As I reach the dock I look over towards the 12 faces of the Jury, across all of the people in their funny white wigs, past the Judge who has already started speaking to me, but I'm not quite paying attention to what it is he's saying as my eyes lay themselves onto a pair of beautiful brown ones. I smile softly at their owner and receive a wink in return, another soft smile mirroring my own.

I can't seem to tear my eyes off of Kathryn but know I should and turn to face His Honour when I hear him cough as if he's been trying to get my full attention.

"Miss. Lily Loveless, you stand charged for the crimes of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol and causing severe damage by dangerous driving. Having heard the charge read, how do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?"

I take a deep breath and can feel the goosebumps that are starting to emerge on my body as I say "Guilty."

As soon as I say the word, I hear Kathryn let out a slight squeal of upset and I instantly close my eyes, not bearing to look over to her as I know I'd only see her crying. And I can't bear to see her like that, I have to stay strong.

I take another deep breath and open my eyes again, my eyes set firmly on His Honour and no one else. My hands clenched tightly whilst I try to steady my nerves and my breathing.

"Do you plead guilty or not guilty to the charge of causing harm by dangerous driving whilst under the influence of alcohol?"

I swallow hard. It's an obvious one to say not guilty to. I wasn't intending to hurt anybody except myself. But my lawyer explained to me that it also means that as I was drink driving, it immediately puts the public to risk and therefore, to help myself, I've to plead exactly what he told me to plead.

I go to say it and close my mouth again, the words getting stuck in my throat. I can feel the nerves getting a hold of me again and all of the eyes in the room piercing at me like daggers.

"Miss. Loveless?" The Judge asks, his eyebrows raised, an obvious sign that he's annoyed that I've held up time for not answering a simple question more quickly. "Do you plead guilty or not guilty to the charge of causing harm by dangerous driving whilst under the influence of alcohol?" He repeats.

I bite my lip, knowing that what I'm about to say is going to hurt the one person in my life that I never want to hurt.

I look back at the Judge and with a shaky breath, reply with a single word. "Guilty."

"_NO! LILY!_" I look down to the floor as I hear Kat's heartbreaking voice scream at me from across the Courtroom. "You didn't mean to hurt anyone! You _didn't _hurt anyone!"

"Quiet in the Courtroom else I shall have no other choice but to remove you!" I hear the judge say as he slams the hammer down repeatedly.

"But she didn't hurt anyone, she didn't. She didn't mean it. It's a mistake. It's just one big mistake." I hear Kat say over and over again as I finally raise my head and look over to her. Wishing that I never as I see her crying uncrontrolably into Megan's arms.

My own tears start to fall as our eyes finally meet. "I love you." I say but it only comes out as a whisper, as I can hardly talk from all of the emotion that is ripping itself across my body.

She just shakes her head slowly at me and her sad, teary but angry eyes turn away from me and get buried into Megan's hug.

I close my eyes and let the tears fall down my cheeks as it hurts too much to see her like this.

It hurts that she didn't say the three words that I needed to hear, back to me.

It hurts when I get pulled backwards and down the stairs, back to my Court cell.

It hurts that when I return to the stand again, I know that she won't be there...

* * *

><p>After what felt like an eternity, sitting in my cell, waiting for everything to calm down again, I find myself standing in the dock for a second time today.<p>

I also find myself looking all around the room and my heart drops, knowing that I was right. Kat had left.

Looking towards Kaya, I start to calm a little. The slight tilt of her head for a nod and the small smile on her lips is enough to remind me that I have to remain strong. So I clear my throat and face my lawyer, this time he's in a white wig and I listen to the rest of what it is he's saying.

"And therefore, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, Miss. Loveless is here for the offence of drink driving and for causing severe damage and harm by dangerous driving whilst under the influence of alcohol."

He turns away from the Jury and looks down at his papers on the small table in front of him, before looking up at me.

"Miss. Loveless. Can you explain to me on what caused you to start drinking heavily on Thursday 29th September 2011?"

"I broke up with my girlfriend and was still coming to terms with it."

He nods his head as he looks down at his notes and looks back up at me. "Your girlfriend being Miss. Kathryn Prescott?"

"Yes." I reply.

"I understand that you went to Berlin in the hope of say, winning her back? And this happened just a few days before your accident. Is this true?"

I nod my head again. "Yes, that's true."

He smiles softly at me. Before we came back into the Courtroom, he had told me that he likes to drop a few sly comments that will subconsciously stick into the Jurors minds and also to help them see how much stress I had come under.

"That was a very smart thing to do. You didn't lash out or become violent in anyway, but you simply went straight over to where you knew she was to work things out with her. Just like how any grown up, responsible adult, such as yourself, would have done too." He smiles at me again and looks over his shoulder towards the Jury, making sure they had heard, before facing me again.

"So tell Miss. Loveless, when you went to see Miss. Prescott, how did the visit go? Rather emotional I'd imagine?"

I nod my head, "Yes, it was." I say, before clearing my throat, "It didn't go very well."

I watch as he shifts some papers around and reads something before looking up at me once more and smiles at me sadly. "Can you tell the members of the Jury what had happened on that trip to Berlin?"

I'm about to open my mouth to speak, when I'm suddenly cut off.

"I object!"

My lawyer had warned me during our briefing that during the cross-examination process, someone will try and stop things from being said in order for them to turn it around and twist it to make me look bad when it's their turn to question me under the oath.

I guess that when he said that the Court can push you and your emotions, he wasn't lying and it was going to get a lot tougher.

"Your Honour, if I may?" My lawyer says quickly, in the hope to get the Judges attention more then the other barristers.

The Judge looks at him and nods his head, for him to continue.

"Your Honour, I strongly believe that what happened in Berlin, led to the events that happened a few day afterwards. Therefore, I'd like my client to answer the question fully and to the Jury."

The Judge looks at him for a few moments then nods his head. "Allowed." He says before looking up towards me, "Answer the question, Miss. Loveless."

The other man sighs and sits back down while I take a deep breath. The memories of Berlin suddenly reappearing in my mind.

"She told me that she never wanted to see me again. That what we had together was over."

"How did that make you feel? Hearing her say that to you?"

I take a few minutes to fight back the tears as I remember collapsing by the fountain after what felt like my heart had been ripped in two.

"I felt," I take another deep breath and feel a lump getting stuck in my throat as the emotions, of which my lawyer said will come, start to take over again. "I felt so lost and alone. The woman I had loved and will always love had just told me that she never wanted to see me again. I felt broken."

He nods his head as if understanding and looks behind him at the Jury before facing me again. "When someone hears the words "It's over" by the one they truly love, it can make that person do some things that they never dreamed of doing. They can lash out and become violent. They can-"

"You're Honour! I object!" The barrister says, cutting my lawyer off before he can say anything more. "I don't think this is going anywhere and no questions are being asked."

The Judge nods his head. "Noted." He then faces my lawyer again, "If you have any further questions, then please carry on and simply ask them. If you do not, then you may step down."

He smiles, "I've a few more yet, My Lord." He says before facing me again. "Miss. Loveless, am I right in thinking that you left Berlin soon after your meeting with Miss. Prescott and went back home to Hackney in London?"

I nod, "Yes."

"So you didn't pressure or pursue Miss. Prescott any further? As to why she had ended your relationship?"

"No, I did not." I reply, shaking my head.

"You didn't become rowdy and stay on in Berlin for a few more days, drowning your sorrows with alcohol?"

I frown at him, "No. I left Berlin the very next day and went home."

He smiles and looks over his shoulder at the Jury before facing me once more. "And am I right to believe that you carried on being a responsible adult and without fighting with Miss. Prescott, you simply wrote her a letter and later was seen in a televised interview about how you felt and how you could no longer live without your ex girlfriend?"

I nod my head, "Yeah, I did but she-"

He cuts me off, "And during the time you were both back in London, did you ever become violent towards Miss. Prescott or to anyone else for that matter?"

I frown, thinking, "No, I didn't."

He smiles at me, "You're not a violent person, are you Miss. Loveless? Just someone who was hurt because of love-"

The barrister stands up and cuts him off, "Your Honour! Really, this isn't-"

The Judge slams down his hammer as the two start talking over the top of one another, "Quiet!"

They both stop and face him, but what my lawyer had intended to do had already been done. A seed had already been planted in the Jurors heads and he knows it. Simply by smiling, he faces him, "No further questions, my Lord."

The Judge nods at him, once my lawyer is seated again, he looks over at the other barrister, who is still standing.

"I've a few questions of my own to ask, if I may your Honour?" He asks.

My stomach churns as I know this is were he will try to stir up trouble and twists my words around, just like my lawyer had warned me about before.

The Judge nods his head again and signals with his hand towards me, "Do continue."

"Thank you, your Honour." He turns to face me and I give him a nervous smile, dreading what it is he may pick up on.

"So we know about the whole, sorry situation about you and your girlfriend in Berlin, but what about when you were both back in London, Miss. Loveless. Can you describe to us on how you were feeling when you were back home?"

"I was still very upset."

He nods, "Of course you would be. That's all very understandable." He looks down at his papers in front of him then looks up at me. "Is it true that Miss. Prescott refused to see you and rejected all of your phone calls you tried to make to her, along with many more text messages that you had sent?"

I nod, "Yes." Remembering that had touched something inside of me. And it hurt again.

"Did it ever occur to you that this could be some sort of harassment?"

I frown at him, my upset being replaced with sudden confusion. "What? No. It wasn't like that."

"But she didn't want to see you and I think she had made this very clear. She told you, when you were both in Berlin, that she didn't want to see you and yet when you were both back in London you carried on trying to get in touch with her."

"No, I didn't intend-"

"You sent numerous amount of text messages as well as many phone calls and voice messages. She didn't answer nor did she reply. Surely that's a message to you, loud and clear, that she really did not want to see you again!"

I shake my head, not liking where this is going. "No! I swear! It wasn't like that!"

"And yet you continued!"

I look over at my lawyer for help, not being able to breathe properly let alone talk as my throat closes up. I shake my head, the tears threatening to re-emerge in my eyes. "Please. It wasn't like that at all!"

"Your Honour! I object!" My lawyer shouts as he stands up, noticing that I'm starting to get distressed, upset and angry.

The other clerk continues though, "That was surely a breach of harassment and-"

"Your Honour!"

The Judge starts slamming his hammer to quiet down the two. "Quiet!" He looks at the pair but the clark continues with his onslaught whilst my defence attorney tries to dismiss it off and stop it. Both shouting over the top of one another.

"Your Honour, this wasn't a violation-"

"Miss. Loveless had been refused and rejected and yet she still pestered Miss. Prescott! I strongly believe that Miss. Loveless-"

As the two fight it out, I look over towards where Kaya is sitting and she shakes her head at me. I feel sick, worried and nervous all at once. But before I know it, she stands up to face the two men and the Judge.

"For Christ's sake! She was doing what any other person would do. She wanted to get in touch with the girl she loves to sort things out with her-"

"Quiet in the Courtroom!" Shouts the Judge as he continuously slams down the hammer. "Miss, can you please remain quiet and sit back down otherwise you shall be removed and this case will be adjourned until tomorrow morning!"

I look back over at her and smile a small, sad smile of thanks to her as she sits back down. What she said was true and it needed to be heard. I turn back to notice that the Judge is choosing to ignore what my lawyer is saying and faces the other barrister. "What you have implied has been duly noted. Now, if theres anything else..." He says, sweeping an arm out and my stomach drops when I know that he'll be far from over and I see my lawyer sigh and sit back down, defeated.

The clark smiles up at me. "Miss. Loveless, I do believe you wrote a letter. Is this true?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, my dislike for this man increasing with every second. When my lawyer had warned me that I'd be pushed through every type of emotion possible, I didn't quite believe that could be real. Now I'm realising that it is.

Whilst stood here, I've gone through the flashbacks of everything that had happened which hurt and made me almost cry. It's gotten me low and has almost broken me at times. Then this man in front of me, with the evil smile and sly looks that he's been giving me, have angered me and have made me more annoyed then I have ever been in my entire life. The nerves and the sick feeling never seems to go away either.

Through my exhaustion, I open my eyes again and reply with a tired but angry "Yes" through gritted teeth.

He snorts a small, quiet laughter as he looks down at his notes, "Still didn't give up then, did we?" I bite my bottom lip when he looks back up at me again. "So, this letter. What can you tell us about it?"

I frown, "What do you mean?"

He smiles, "I mean, what did you write in this letter of yours? Not intent of giving up on your harassing course, you went to her house on the day of your accident and you hand delivered a letter. What was in the letter, Miss. Loveless?"

I think back to the day I wrote it. I had tried and tired to get her back for the time we were back in London and I felt that this was my last chance. I had already been drinking heavily when the idea hit me. I had been sat in my car, drinking for a few good hours writing the damn thing, yet I can hardly remember what I had put.

I suddenly feel like the person he was painting me to be. Maybe I had been harassing her. I was out of control and I couldn't stop drinking. I got in my car an emotional wreck...

"Miss. Loveless?" The soft voice of the Judge breaks through my thinking and I shake my head to clear my thoughts and wipe my teary eyes. "Take your time, Miss. Loveless."

I reach a shaky hand out and take a sip of the cool water from the cup in front of me. Everything is hitting me too quickly. The thoughts, the flashbacks. Even everyone in this room feels like they're closing in on me, along with the walls.

"I'll remind you that you are still under oath, Miss. Loveless, and the question asked still needs an answer." The Judge says.

I clear my throat and nod my head.

"The letter?" The clerk says. "What did you write about, Miss. Loveless?"

I take another short moment to gather my thoughts before replying. "How I was feeling. How I don't think I could carry on without her. She was my everything."

He nods his head, then raises an eyebrow. "And then you saw her rip it up and throw it away in the rubbish bin outside her house. Everything you had felt, you wrote down. How you were feeling. You poured your heart out into that letter, didn't you Miss. Loveless? You spent endless hours, a considerable amount of time and effort, writing it out and with a few drinks to take the edge off too and yet she simply threw it away as if it was garbage and without a single care in the world of how you must be feeling or what you were going through. She didn't care, did she?"

The tears start to fall down my cheeks as I remember seeing her do just that and it was really starting to hurt me all over again.

My lawyer shakes his head. "This is going too far, your Honour!"

The Judge ignores him and signals for the man to carry on. I look at my lawyer, wishing there was some way to stop this but I knew it'd be pointless. It really had gone too far and now there was no stopping this man.

"How did you feel then, Miss. Loveless? How did you feel when you realised that the love of your life no longer cared about you? That the girl you loved so much and would give everything and anything for, tore your letter up in half and threw it away without even bothering to open it! It must have really hurt you, no? Seeing her do that so easily!"

I grab onto the rail in front of me and close my eyes, willing for him to stop as the tears keep on falling. I try to breathe but find it difficult and so I turn to face Kaya, hoping that just seeing her face would help calm me a little. Unfortunately, I looked too far to the right and see Megan starring at me and it's too much. All of this, the flashbacks and the memories and then not seeing Kathryn sitting there but her twin instead is adding to the pain. I feel sick.

"How did it make you feel, Miss. Loveless? What were you feeling? What did you want to do?"

"Your Honour!" I hear my lawyer say, whilst my eyes are still fixed on Megan. "Please, stop this now! You can clearly see that my client is under much distress and is in need of a break!"

The clerk continues, obviously being allowed to carry on. I can hear him laughing slightly, "Afterwards, for some unknown reason and may I add, you were said to have been _very_ drunk, you asked for a televised interview!"

My eyes are still fixed the other way, not daring to look back at him. I can see that what he is saying was upsetting my friends and family and I couldn't take it anymore. He was finally breaking me again, only this time, I was starting to feel humiliated too.

"You must have been _so _lost that you didn't know what to do next! I guess this is what happens when a desperate woman like yourself was pushed to the furthest point you could go. I guess a desperate woman goes to desperate measures."

"Your Honour, honestly, this has gone too far now!"

"You were seen to be drunk, lost, confused, alone, empty... How were you _really_ feeling inside? _Deep _inside? To know that this was your last chance, to know that you couldn't live without her but she didn't care about you no more?"

The tears continue to fall from eyes and I close them, trying to shut everything out.

"You must have thought that she _really_ hated you and that must have _really_ hurt you!" I shake my head, trying to make it stop. "Come on, Miss. Loveless. You've still not told the Court here on what you wanted to do! How you felt! She _hated _you!"

Not taking it any longer I turn back round to face him, full of anger and upset, something in me had finally snapped and through my tears I shout at him.

"_I WANTED TO DIE!_"

I hear gasps and cries coming from where my friends and family were, as well as from the Jurors as I grip tighter onto the rail before slowly collapsing to the floor. The fight left in me has finally gone and I'm too exhausted for anything more. I just want it all to be over.

"And so you got into your car, completely drunk on alcohol and so unbelievably lost in your emotions that you were no longer thinking about what damage you may cause by your outrageous and dangerous actions to anyone else, such as the public! You and your car were later found to be wrapped around a lamp post and you were taken to hospital where you were almost put into a coma due to the extent of your serious injuries that you had caused upon yourself because you couldn't live with the simple fact that your lover didn't want to see you again."

From my position on the dock, with my head leaning against the rail and through my tears, I could see in the corner of my eye that he was shaking his head.

"It also seems that your lover, the Miss. Kathryn Prescott, who eventually came back to you after your accident is no longer with us in this Courtroom. Maybe she couldn't handle hearing the truth that you can be very a dangerous lady when your emotions get the better of you. Let's just hope that you don't get so lost in them again during the next time you meet. We wouldn't want anyone else to get hurt now would we, Miss. Loveless?"

The Courtroom is deadly silent as what he said sinks in to everyone and I can do nothing but sob uncontrollably. I then realise that I've almost proved to him that I could be this monster that he's painted me to be to all of the 12 Jurors of Jury who have my life in their hands, but it's too late. What has happened, has happened and I can't change it. I couldn't change it even if I tried.

I bring my knees up to my chin and wrap my arms around myself. It's just too much to think about. It's too much to take in. I know that I'll be going to prison. I know there's a chance that I won't ever see Kat.

And I'm lost once again.

"No further questions, your Honour."

__In my place, in my place_  
><em>Were lines that I couldn't change<em>  
><em>I was lost, Oh yeah.<em>_

_Oh yeah._

* * *

><p><strong>*steps out from hiding* Soooo, I think I may have a little apology to make for my lack of updates on this fic. Many of you having been asking me to update this for a month or so now and following me around on Twitter to do so. I hope this chapter was good enough for a sorry... If not, good job I'm giving you a second update before SUNDAY ;)<strong>

**So, will our gorgeous Loveless girl be sent down for a few years in prison? Put it this way, I can quite easily see a crossover with one of _Lazyboo_'s fanfictions! Ha. **

**I don't usually apologise for my writing but I am here. If there's any mistakes or you think it's been rushed, then I'm sorry. But I'm on holiday in a very crazy City and right now, it's 11:30pm and I'm a little bit tipsy, so I think that excuse is allowed for just this once. I won't let it happen again...**

**Also, a huge WOW and an even bigger THANK YOU to _gerlierana_ who found this story and read it within 2 days! You's amaze me :)**

**And to everyone else who reviewed, I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting for so long!**

**Reviews make me smile and makes me update sooner, so feel free to make me smile or to bully me into updating! **


	24. Judgement day

"Can Miss. Loveless' defense attorney please stand?" Asks the Judge, to which her lawyer stands and faces him. "Due to what happened here earlier this afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the Court, Miss. Loveless is currently being held in one of the Courts holding cells and is being seen to by a doctor. It seems that her emotions overwhelmed her too much and therefore she shall stay where is she to recover until after the Jury have adjourned back into the Courtroom with a verdict, later today."

He then turns to face Lily's lawyer. "On behalf of Miss. Loveless, her defense attorney would like to read out a plea of mitigation." He then signals to her lawyer who picks up a few papers and turns towards the 12 Jurors.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury and of the Court, what you all saw and witnessed today was a tired, lost and a very emotional young woman. You did not see an angry, vicious or dangerous person on that stand. But a kind, caring person who had been hurt by her own actions and of the actions from the one person she loves and would give everything for. Having to be forced to re-live the pain and anguish that she went through all over again, was quite simply, too much for her to bear. And yet, she still did not lash out and become violent. Instead, she broke down in front of us all. Not the actions of a callous monster that she is being painted to be portrayed as."

He looks over at the clerk who drove her to her near break down in the dock as he says the last part and raises an eyebrow at him. Knowing that he can finally say whatever he likes without being interrupted and letting the Jury know what the clerk had intended to do. Satisfied that the clerk knows this was a small snide towards him, he turns back round to face the Jury once more.

"My client has genuine remorse over what has happened and knows that what she did was very wrong. She also knows that she has to be punished for the crimes she committed, no matter what. I ask that you take note of the fact that she has no previous criminal convictions and as of yet, has a clean driving license. What Miss. Loveless went through was a true act of love in which her emotions took her over, to a point where she could no longer think what she was doing, let alone live with herself. She was hurt badly by the person that she loved and cared deeply about.

"I can do no more but to ask for you to consider a much a less, lenient sentence based on the various factors and of course, the no previous criminal convictions in this case. As I have said, Miss. Loveless knows that she should be punished, but please take in what I have said and think about how _you_ would have acted if _you_ were in the same situation."

Once he has finished, he turns to face the Judge and bows slightly before taking his seat, to let him know that he has finished the plea. Once he's seated though, he looks over his shoulder at the clerk and smiles. The other barrister sighs and turns away, leaving the lawyer to turn back round to the front of his desk and with an even bigger smile on his face, knowing that his client has an even bigger chance of winning now. He only hopes that what he had said was good enough for her to be given a much smaller sentence in prison. Or even at the very most, to be let free.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

As I stand in the dock, I look around the Courtroom and smile nervously at my family and friends who have all come to support me and to find out my fate.

I look over the crowd and my heart drops just that little bit more when I realize that Kat still isn't here. Neither is Megan. I give Kaya questioning look and as if knowing what I'm thinking about, she gives me a sad smile then whispers that it will all be ok.

I can only hope that she's right.

As the Judge speaks, I turn to face him. I feel sick at the thought of what might happen within the next few minutes. I feel sick that the one person that I need right now, isn't here.

"Can the foreman please stand?" Asks the judge.

I turn back and look at the Jury. All 12 faces staring right back at me. Their minds already made up on what I know will be me going to prison for the next few years of my life.

"Members of the Jury, have you reached a verdict?" The Judge asks.

The foreman looks head on at the Judge and nods his head, "We have."

I take a shaky breath to try and steady my nerves and look towards my family again. Sad eyes, looking worried stare back at me. Terrified eyes staring back at them.

The Judge nods and faces the head Juror once more. "Do you find the defendant, Miss. Lily Loveless, guilty or not guilty of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol and causing severe damage by dangerous driving?"

The foreman doesn't take his eyes off of the Judge and is about to speak when the doors to the Courtroom suddenly burst open and a pair of rushing feet are heard, running towards the seating area in the gallery.

I frown and turn my head. I can't help but smile when I see Megan rushing towards Kaya and sits down next to her, apologising for being late. I bite my bottom lip and turn towards the door again, still smiling.

Unfortunately, my smile starts to fade when a Crown Court officer closes the doors again. I frown and quickly turn to look at Megan, desperately wanting to know where her sister is. All I see is her shaking her head at Kaya, both wearing sad faces.

It's hard to turn away from them and I have a hundred and one different thoughts going around my head, but when I hear the Judge speak again, I know I have to concentrate and listen, no matter how difficult everything is.

"Lets start again, shall we?" He says whilst shaking his head and looking rather annoyed at the interruption. "Do you find the defendant, Miss. Lily Loveless, guilty or not guilty of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol and causing severe damage by dangerous driving?" He repeats.

"Guilty." Comes the foreman's reply.

My heart sinks and I feel sick as I close my eyes. All I can hear are the gasps and slight cries from my family and friends. I know I have to try and remain strong, if not for me but for them, so I take a deep breath and open my eyes. Whilst facing towards the front, I wish for a little hope on what the next and final verdict will be.

"On the charge of causing harm by dangerous driving whilst under the influence of alcohol, do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

It feels like the whole world stops and goes into slow motion before I hear the foreman's voice again. One minute passes, then two.

I look back over towards my family. They're all desperately waiting on hearing the final verdict, the tears already falling.

I look at Kaya, knowing that this could be the last time that I might see me friend for a while. But she can no longer bear to look. The girl who finds it so easy to cover up her emotions and is the only one of the two people in my life that can actually calm with a single look, has her face buried into Megan whose holding her close and I can't help but wish that it were me. I wish that it was me with her in my arms and telling her that it's all going to be ok.

As I feel the tears rolling down my own cheeks, I take yet another deep breath to calm myself and face the front.

Without hesitation and with a loud voice so everyone in the Courtroom can hear, the foreman replies with just a single answer and says clearly, the one word I had been dreading. "Guilty."

* * *

><p>I don't know how long I had been there until I heard the Judge speaking again. I know that when I heard the final guilty verdict, I fell back onto the chair that had been behind me. I had also heard the piercing shrieks and cries from the gallery as my friends and family also heard the outcome and broke down. Yet, I've know idea how long I had sat and cried my eyes out, both in shock and in worry at what will suddenly happen to my life.<p>

"Miss. Lily Loveless, please stand." Requested the Judge.

I try to even my breathing out and stand on shaky legs, the tears still falling as I listen to what it is he has to say. Knowing that this is where the rule book will be thrown at me, where I will be told how much of a terrible person I am and where I will hear my punishment before being taken away to prison.

"Miss. Loveless you have been found guilty of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol, causing severe damage by dangerous driving and of causing harm by dangerous driving."

He sighs and looks down at his notes before looking back up and shaking his head at me.

"What you did was a very dangerous act of self pity and you put many lives of the general public at danger, including yourself, because you didn't think of where your actions may lead you. You had only thought of yourself and yourself only. That alone makes you selfish and even a little self-centered."

"However, I can come to understand how you must have felt when your lover, Miss. Prescott, had rejected you and had no longer wanted you to be a part of her life anymore. I can also tell by the way that you had acted in Court earlier today that your emotions like to get the better of you and you can sometimes find it very hard to deal with them."

"Still though, it had led you onto a very dangerous path and onto what I would call a downward spiral. You had a choice to walk away and move on, however, you did not. Your emotions played a very big part in this and I think you should receive some type of counselling in order to deal with them better. Before someone gets hurt again."

He takes another breather as he looks down at his notes, when he looks up again, he removes his glasses and faces me once more.

"Given all of this, I do believe that you would have learnt your lesson from what has happened here and that you will no longer do it again, not now nor anytime in the future. I also generally believe that you never intended to go out and hurt anyone purposely."

"Therefore, on thinking this and given your record of no previous criminal convictions and before today, a clean driving license, I don't think a sentence at Her Majesty's Prison will be necessary. The Court will be sending you on the Drink Drive Rehabilitation Scheme for the next 2 months, of to which, you _must _attend twice a week. Failure to do so may see a warrant issued for your arrest and further charges being brought against you. I am also handing you a 6-month driving ban, therefore I ask for you to surrender your driving license to the Court if you have not already done so."

The Judge then eventually smiles at me, "Miss. Loveless, I wish you all the best and that I don't see you here again." He puts his arms out and smiles even wider, "You're free to go."

I can hardly believe what I'm hearing and look at Kaya whose now smiling brightly at me. I continue to stare at her in confusion before turning to face my lawyer who winks at me before turning to talk someone.

"Miss. Loveless?" I hear and turn to face the person who spoke, only to see it was the Crown Court officer who had been standing in the stand with me the whole time.

This time he's got softer features and is also smiling. "This way if you'd like to leave, my lady." He says as he gestures towards the stairs that lead the way out and back down to the holding cells and rooms.

I continue to stare down at the stairs, still in slight shock at what had happened then I finally look up at him and smile through my tears. "To right I bloody want to get out of this place."

He laughs and turns to lead me back to freedom. I only hope that a certain someone is waiting for me on the other side.

* * *

><p>I walk into a small, meeting room where my lawyer is already waiting for me, a big smile on his face.<p>

"I knew we could do it. I had no doubt about it." He says as he comes up to me. "I had every faith in you, Miss. Loveless."

I smile at him as he continues to congratulate me and my success of not being given a sentence for prison. As happy as I am for being let off, I look all around the room, searching for someone.

"So as the Judge said, you'll be going on the Drink Drive Rehabilitation scheme for the next 2 months and that starts from Monday next week. You must attend every Monday and Thursday without fail. Once you have completed your course, you'll receive a certificate and the Court will notify DVLA, who will then update your record."

I turn back round when I realise it's only the two of us in the room and look over his shoulder to see out of the door and into the empty corridor.

"You're not listening to me, are you?" He asks as he watches me for a few minutes.

It snaps me out of my searching and I look at him, suddenly feeling bad. "Sorry, no I was. Well, partly." I shake my head, "Not really, no."

He smiles at me nevertheless and hands me some papers out of his briefcase, which I take. I frown at them and look back up to him, about to ask what they are and why I have the.

"I didn't think you would be listening anyway. That is why I have all the information for you to read once you get back home." He signals down to what I'm holing as he speaks. "Everything you need to know is there, including what I have just said about the Rehabilitation scheme and more. It also tells you how you can re-apply for your driving license after your 6-month ban is over."

"Thank you," I say as I look at him and finally smile. "I really am grateful for everything you've done for me and for believing in me. You've been amazing, so thank you."

He smiles back as he shakes my hand. "The pleasure is all mine and it's been very lovely to me you too." He then goes and picks up his briefcase. "I'll be in touch with you on Monday to make sure you've read everything and understand what will happen. But you know where I am if you need anything."

As he turns to leave he turns back to face me, "You should be happy, Lily. You're a free woman."

I bite my lip and nod my head, "Oh, I am happy. And I am truly very grateful for you in helping me and I don't think I could every thank you enough. It's just..." I stop and sigh as I lean against the table behind me. "It's just..."

I shake my head not being able to say the words and just look at him. "She's not here, is she?" I ask.

As if knowing exactly who I mean, he gives me a sad smile. "No, she's not."

I simply nod my head as I look down to the floor, already knowing that I doubt I'll see her even when I walk out of this dump.

It's not until I look back up that I notice that my lawyer has already left and I find myself all alone once again.

* * *

><p><strong>I can just never give you all a happy ending, can I? What can I say? I love drama too much!<strong>

**So as promised, that was your second update of the week. Please feel free to leave a little review on what you thought and to pester me into giving you another update soon!**


	25. Giving me a chance

**Lily's POV**

I don't know how long I was in that small room for after my lawyer had left. I don't know how long the tears had kept on falling for. I just knew that once my tears had started to subside a little and my mind had started to become a little bit more clearer, I had to leave. I had to know where Kat was.

I picked up my bag and the file that my lawyer had left for me, grabbed my coat and left. I signed papers that needed to be signed, I spoke to someone who I needed to speak to before I was finally allowed to leave the Court.

It wasn't until I saw my mum and everyone standing outside waiting for me that I realised that I really was free and before I could say or even think of anything more, my mum pulls me into a tight, warm hug that I didn't know that I needed.

"Well done, baby girl. I knew they'd let you off. I'm so proud of you." She says to me as I feel her wet tears rubbing against my cheek.

"Thanks mum." I say as I look up at her and wipe my own tears away that had started to fall the moment I saw her. "I was so scared."

"I know you were, sweetheart. But you're here now. Safe, sound and free." She says as she pulls back to look at me properly and with her hand on my cheek. "And we're going to make sure that you'll never be put in that situation ever again, ok? I was just as scared of losing you."

I nod my head at her and then smile at my friends who also start to congratulate me at my win and all start to hug me.

I then turn to face Kaya who playfully slaps me on the arm. "Guess that proves that everyone really does love The Loveless then, hey?"

Laughing, I hug her. "That's because I'm too irresistible and flawless not to love."

"Pfft, whatever." She says as she pushes me away, but laughing still.

My smile, however, soon disappears as I see Megan and I sigh. "But I guess there are some who don't love me enough."

She shakes her head. "No, Lily. She does love you, you know she does. She probably just..." Her sentence slowly trails off.

"She probably just what, Megan?" I say, not really knowing myself. She just shrugs, not knowing herself.

Sighing, I shake my head but look up when she speaks again. "We tried looking for her but we couldn't find her anywhere. She also wouldn't answer her phone."

Panic immediately starts to shoot it's way across my body but Megan quickly puts her hand out to me. "No, don't worry. She's ok, she's just texted me." She smiles sadly. "It wasn't much, just said that she's okay and that she's happy that you were found not guilty as me and Kaya left her messages to let her know."

I snort. "Great."

I suddenly find myself angry with her for making everyone worry. Angry for running away in the first place. Exhausted from not just the long, draining day I've had but also tired from getting her back only to start losing her again. I'm also upset. Upset that even though she knows I've been let off, she still didn't come back.

So many questions and so many different feelings and emotions start to hit me all over again, along with a headache.

I'm not sure how to feel anymore. I just need to sleep and worry about everything when I wake up.

Sighing I turn to face mum again. "Can we go?" I ask.

"Of course we can, dear." She says as she pulls out her car keys and starts to walk towards the car.

"No." I say. "Can I drive?"

She stops and faces me, worried.

"I'll drop you off, don't worry. I just... I just want to be by myself for a bit and to drive myself back home."

Kaya looks at my mum and then back at me. "Let your mum drive you, yeah? Besides, she'll need her car for tomorrow. It's getting late as it is."

"Kaya's right, love. Let me drive, come on." She says as she turns to walk away again.

I shake my head, bemused. "The fuck?"

Megan laughs slightly as she guides me to the car. "Come on, Lily. You really do have a short memory span."

I frown at them all. "Oh my God. None of you trust me to drive anymore, do you?" I say, my anger starting to rise more and more. "I got drunk and made one, stupid mistake that I'll never make again in my entire life. I almost got thrown into prison so when I say I won't do it again, I'll make sure I'll never do it again."

Megan comes up to me, worry all over her face and with a soft voice, she puts her hands on my arms. "Lily... You had to hand in your driving license. You're banned from driving, remember?"

I look over at Kaya who smiles sadly at me. "It's not about trust issues, okay? We do trust you."

Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I look at my mum who motions with her head towards the car. "Come on, love. Let's get you home."

I stay there for a few minutes, watching Kaya and Megan get into the car.

Who were they trying to kid? Of course it's about trust still. And I still need some time to myself so I decide to go home by myself.

"Don't worry, mum." I say. "I'll just walk home." I leave her shaking her head at me as I walk away, ignoring their shouts and hearing my name being called. "Twats."

* * *

><p>I'm even more exhausted then what I was before when I finally reach my apartment flat in Hackney. I had spent an hour walking through the dark streets of London, lost in my thoughts and trying to calm down my anger.<p>

When I had finally reached my door, I'm left wanting nothing more but a nice, hot soak in the bath with a cool, crisp beer before going to bed and sleeping for Britain. After today, all my worries can wait until tomorrow.

However, when I unlock the door and walk in, I instantly wonder why the lights are on, let alone on low. I frown and go to turn them up full but instantly freeze when I hear a voice.

"Leave them."

That's the only words that I hear, nothing more and nothing less. Yet it keeps me frozen on the spot from hearing them.

After a few minutes, I notice that my hand is still hovering over the light switch and that I'm staring at it, frowning. I drop my hand and very slowly turn around and take a gulp, not believing what I'm seeing right in front of me.

She's here. She's really here.

Kathryn is stood in the middle of our living room, the mood lights down low and with what seems to be a picnic all over the floor. Blankets, food, drink and even some soft music is playing while candles flicker all around the room.

Yet, I still stand there, staring at her in a confused daze.

She drops her eyes to the floor, nervously playing with her hands.

With the thoughts and memories of what happened earlier today coming back into my mind and what with her being unable to look at me and talk, I sigh and walk over to the kitchen area. I drop my bag down, along with the files that my lawyer gave me, onto the table and get myself a glass of water. Neither one us speaking.

With my back turned against her, a million and one questions fire through me. The same questions that I've been trying to work out for the past hour when I'd been walking home.

Why did she leave? Why didn't she come back to the Courtroom? Why wasn't she there when I needed her the most? Why didn't she phone or even answer everyone's calls when they were trying to find her? Didn't she know that everyone would be worried, upset and angry with her?

Why the fuck is she here like this? Would she leave me again in the future?

I empty the glass and pop it into the sink before finally turning back round to face her and I see teary, terrified eyes staring back at me.

I hate that look on her face and I look away from her, not wanting it to haunt me.

"Megan and Kaya left me messages to let me know what had happened." She finally says. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

I look up at her and sigh, "Yeah?" Shaking my head, I walk past her and head towards our bedroom. "So am I."

"What are you doing?" I hear her ask, worried. I stop to face her again.

"Unlike you, I'm not doing a disappearing act. I'm going to get changed out of these clothes and then we're going to talk." With that, I go into our room and close the door behind me. With my back leaning against it, I take a few moments to clear my head.

I eventually sigh and grab some fresh clothes, not wanting the smell of the Courtroom on me any longer.

After a few more moments of getting changed and sitting on the end of the bed, I decide that it's finally time to get some answers.

I need to know what has gotten into her. I need to know that I'm not going to be hurt again.

I open the door and walk out. Seeing her sitting on the edge of a sofa, I sigh and head towards her.

"Why did you go?" I ask before she has the chance to apologize or to make some sort of excuses to drag this out further.

She doesn't look up to me, but keeps her eyes to the floor. "I couldn't bear it."

I snort, not believing what I'm hearing. "_You_ couldn't bear it? What about me? I needed you. I needed you to be strong for me. For me to see your face and to know that whatever was going to happen, it was still going to be okay, but you left. You got up and you left me there."

She finally looks up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." She says, her voice broken with her tears. "At first I was angry with you, for saying that you were guilty. Then I was frightened because you were saying that you were guilty for something that you weren't guilty of. Not intentionally anyway."

She shakes her head and looks away again. "Then I did what you do. I ran because I was scared."

I sit on the edge of my sofa, watching her tears fall from her eyes and I can't help but feel my own tears threatening to fall. I hate seeing her like this and I want to rush over and hug her, but I still can't help but feel angry with her.

"Why didn't you come back?" I ask, "Even when Kaya and your sister let you know that I was free, why didn't you come back?"

Kat shakes her head and looks up at me. "I was terrified of what might happen to you. I didn't want to see you get carted off to some nasty prison with you kicking and screaming. That's not what I wanted to see you like. If it was going to be the last time that I might ever see you for a while then I wanted it to be happier, with you saying that you loved me. That's why I left." She smiles sadly." Even though I was angry and terrified, seeing you say that you loved me was all that was needed to tip me over the edge. Before I knew what was happening, I got up and went."

I shake my head and turn away. I see a bottle of beer and pick it up.

"I know you're angry and upset with me, Lily, but what would you have done if it was the other way round?"

The bottle is about to touch my lips but stops.

"You would have ran too, I know you. You would have done the exact same."

I bite my lip and drop the bottle down. She's right. She's always fucking right.

"Only you would have ran and ran and never would had stopped running. Or," She pauses as she nods her head towards the beer bottle in my hand, "Or you would of gone straight to the nearest place that sells drink." I look towards her but she just shakes her head, "And don't try and deny it."

I swallow hard at the fact that she's knows me so well now and that everything she said was true. I put the bottle on the floor and face her again. I was angry with her and now I'm only angry with myself.

"Ask me where I went." She says. I frown at her but she just repeats herself, her eyebrow raising. "Ask me where I went."

"Where did you go?" I ask frowning, suddenly wanting to know and wondering why I never thought of that instead of being angry at the thought she had left.

She smiles sadly. "I ran straight back to the place where it all started. I thought I had fallen in love with you before, but this place will always be special to me because it was there that I knew I _was _in love with you." She bites her lip, "I was so happy that day and relaxed that I wanted to go back."

She smiles even wider when she sees the blank expression on my face. "You really are an idiot at times, you know that?"

Even though I'm frowning, I slightly smile at her when she says that.

Kat raises her eyebrow and has that adorable, quizacle look on her face. "You said that it was your perfect date."

I'm still frowning as I look at her, trying hard to think on where she went when suddenly a huge smile breaks out across my face when it suddenly hits me. It's been staring at me in the face the whole time.

She smiles back and walks over to me. When she's near she simply puts her hand out for me to take.

I look up at her. I can't believe I was so angry with her and thought it was all over that I didn't think about how it would have been affecting her. How she would have been feeling.

And yet, she went straight to the place that makes her feel so calm and relaxed. The place that brings back happy memories of us and I'm suddenly filled with happiness again too.

I've had what could be the worst day of my life. I almost faced prison and thought I had lost my girl. But really, although I'm still getting punished for what I did, which is fair, I've won. I'm free and I'm still here with my girlfriend.

My amazing, beautiful girlfriend, who even though she couldn't bear to see me scared, she went to the place where we were both happy and loved up. She was still thinking of me and that's the main thing. She was still with me in one way or another.

And now she's here, right in front of me with her hand outstretched waiting for me to grab hold of it. Which I do. And with a smile on my face.

"You went back to Richmond Hill." I say as she walks me over to the blankets where she's laid a huge picnic with drinks, food and candles.

She sits me down and I look all around me. I can't help but feel the tears finally fall as I see a small champagne bottle next to a take-away pizza and a small heart shaped cake. She had recreated everything from that day in our small living room.

She sits down in front of me and just one look into her eyes and I know that I'd probably forgive her for anything and I think she knows it.

"I was sitting there for hours, worrying and wondering what the hell was going on. But I couldn't go back there. I know it was cruel of me to do that, but the longer I sat there, the better I felt. And you know what?" She asks, smiling.

I shake my head and shrug my shoulders.

"I knew that you would be set free to go. I don't know how or why, I just knew. Then a little while afterwards I got Megan and Kaya's messages. You were indeed set free. With punishment of course, but you were free."

She grabs my hand. "I know you'd be angry with me but I know you still love me. So instead of going straight to the Court to meet you when you came out, I done some shopping and came straight back here. To our home."

I bite my lip as she looks around the room at the little recreation of what she's made for me.

"I came back to remind you how much I love you, no matter how much I might be afraid or terrified of you I might be at times. That although I might do some stupid things, I'll still come back. I'll always come back."

She smiles at a thought she's obviously had when she goes quiet for a few moments. "You took me to Richmond Hill that day because you thought that I needed "cheering up." You most definitely done that. I went back there today because of the same reason and it worked. So," She signals with her hand at the picnic and candles, "I thought that I'd bring that Richmond Hill date to you. To cheer you up and make you fall in love with me all over again."

I giggle at her. I can't help it. "I was always in love with you, no mater how angry I was, dopey."

She smiles at me shyly, making her even more adorable then she already is. "Really?"

I laugh, "Yes!" Once my little giggles stop, I turn serious again. "I'm really sorry too." I say, taking her hand in mine. "Sorry for making you feel like that in the first place. And for being stupid when I got in that car else none of this would have happened. Also, I'm sorry for being angry when you left and-"

Before I have the chance to finish my ramblings, a pair of soft, warm lips are on mine.

After just a few seconds, they pull away and I open my eyes to find my favorite pair of brown, glittering eyes staring back at me.

"You also always know how to always shut me up." I say with a smile on my face as I wrap my arms around her.

"Promise me something?" I ask.

She smiles, "Anything."

I bite my lip as I look at her before talking again. "Promise me that whenever we argue or fight, which I hope we won't or at least do it much, but... Promise me that if you need to run, to just get away for a bit, to be by yourself, that you'll go to Richmond Hill?"

She looks at me, slightly frowning.

"If you don't want to see me because you're angry with me for whatever reason, promise me you'll go there? Because then I know where you are and I won't be too worried about you. I know that you'll be safe and in a way, still near me."

She smiles and I pull her a little closer to me, our foreheads touching as I softly rub my nose with hers as I whisper, "And I promise to do the same when I want to run away and hide."

Kat pulls me into her completely and rests her head on my shoulder. "I promise." She whispers back, her breath tickling my neck.

We stay like that for a few more moments. Both of us enjoying one another's company and being happy at finally forgiving one another and knowing that we're going to be absolutely fine in the future. As long as we have each other, we'll have nothing to worry about.

I smile as I look around the room again, at the effort that she put into everything. I'm suddenly amazed at what she would do to remind me of how much she loves me.

"Thank you." I say, whispering in her ear.

"What for?" She says, not moving from her spot on me. Obviously liking the cosiness and comfort.

I motion to the whole room. "For this. It's lovely."

"There is one more thing." She says as she gets up and smiles at me before walking over to the iPod dock on the side.

Staying where I am on the floor, I watch her and frown as she looks for a song. "What are you up to, Miss. Prescott?"

She turns back round and slowly walks up to me, a slight mischievous look in her eyes. She still doesn't say anything as she gently takes hold of my hands and pulls me up to her.

I frown as I stand and put my arms around her, her's going round my neck before she slowly starts to sway along to the music.

"Do you remember that one time I sang to you?" She asks.

I bite my lip as a way to try and hide my smile as I remember that night. "How could I forget?"

She laughs slightly before clearing her throat and looking into my eyes again. "I sang it as a way to let you know what you meant to me. And to see how you felt about me too."

I nod. "I know." I kiss her on her forehead, "And it worked."

She smiles shyly at me but then giggles. "I was so nervous."

I giggle along with her, "I never would have guessed by the amount you drank before you got up onto that stage."

Playfully pushing me slightly at my little joke, she never keeps her eyes off of me as the song she went to choose finally comes on. And I smile at her as she starts to sing it softly to me. Her soft, husky voice putting Avril's to shame and making her look and sound even more sexy.

_Lala, Lalala, Loveless..._

_I like your smile  
>I like your vibe<br>I like your style  
>But that's not why I love you<em>

_And I, I like the way  
>You're such a star<br>But that's not why I love you  
>Hey<em>

"I could say the same back to you." I say to her. "You're absolutely beautiful. And perfect."

"Just like you." She replies as we hold one another and sway to music in the middle of the room. The candle light making it feel even more amazing.

I smile as she rests her face against my chest and I gently kiss the top of her head. "I take it that this is most definitely _our_ song, then?"

"Yes, I think it is." She giggles.

"Good. Because it's perfect and every word is true."

She looks up to me, her stunning brown eyes starring back into my blues ones. A soft smile on her oh so kissable lips. "I don't think I could ever imagine being without you. We've been through so much and I really am I very much in love with you."

I bite my lip at her cuteness and I find that I can't take my eyes off of her. She really is beautiful. "Me neither. You're definitely stuck with me for the future, LLP." I say before giving her cheeky wink.

She giggles even more as she shakes her head. "Shut up you and come here."

Smiling, she brings my head down and leans up to me. My lips finally meet hers and I taste the sweet taste of cherry on her lips that I crave and love so much.

_Do you feel, do you feel me?  
>DO YOU FEEL WHAT I FEEL TOO?<br>Do you need, do you need me?  
>Do you need me-e-e?<em>

_You're so beautiful  
>But that's not why I love you<br>I'm not sure you know  
>That the reason I love you is you<br>Being you  
>Just you<br>Yeah the reason I love you is all that all we've been through  
>And that's why I love you.<em>

"Our pizza will be getting cold." Kat says through our kisses.

"I don't care about that." I reply whilst stealing another kiss from her lips. "I'm only interested in you."

Receiving the most, amazing, perfect smiles I've seen, she whispers, "Hm, good answer."

Before she has a chance to say or do anything else, I bend down to the floor and pull her down to me. My hand still in hers as she lays on top of me, her thigh slipping between mine and our bodies fitting together perfectly. Her tongue slowly creeps along the bottom of my lip and I let her enter my mouth, moaning into our kiss as it becomes even more intense and passionate. With my free hand, that's not pinned to the floor above my head, I gently stroke the soft, warm bare skin of her back under her top and I can't help but smile with her when I feel her smiling into our kiss.

All bad thoughts and everything that had happened earlier in the day are soon forgotten about as I arch my back up towards her, the moment I feel her tongue and sweet, soft kisses move along my jawline before slowly turning into warm, loving kisses moving even further down my neck.

We're both so lost in the moment that we jump with fright and freeze when we suddenly hear someone cough out loud in the room.

"What the fu-" I stop when my muddled up brain starts to register a very amused Kaya, whose standing near the front door, trying not to laugh at the sight of us on the floor together.

"You're faces right now are priceless!" She says between fits of laughter.

I fall back to the floor and try to calm my beating heart, let alone my breathing as Kat cuddles into me. The sigh I hear that tickles my neck tells me that she too, is rather annoyed by the interruption.

"How long were you there for?" I finally ask.

"Not long. Just a few minutes."

She must have noticed the horrified expression on my face as she tuts. "Oh for goodness sake Lily, I weren't going to wait until you two had stripped one another naked before letting yous know that I was here, was I?"

I raise an eyebrow at her, knowing her better then anyone.

"Well, ok. Who knows what would have happened if..." She suddenly shakes her head to stop herself from saying or even thinking of anything more. "Anyway, the point is, you both know I'm here now so I'll go disappear and we can forget that I almost saw a shag fest on the living room floor in front of my very eyes and that the image will forever scar my poor little-"

Laughing, Kat stops her from talking, "What is it you want, Kaya? I know there's something."

I look at her and frown before facing Kaya again who looks to the floor nervously then back up to me. "Well, there _is _something I want to ask..."

"What is it? Are you okay?" I ask, almost starting to get worried.

She smiles and nods. "Yeah, I'm fine it's just..." She shrugs and settles her bag on the floor and removes her jacket. "There's this festival that I really want to go to and even Jack's going to it."

Kat looks at me with the same confused look as I have and I shrug at her. "And? What about it?" Kat asks when we look back.

"Well I have the tickets, just not anyone to go with."

I smile and nod, "Oh, so you want to ask us to keep you company, do you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

She bites her lip and looks at Kat before her eyes land on mine. A look in them that I can't quite work out. "Kind of."

I sigh. "Kaya, you're not making much sense right now and as you noticed, I was kind of in the middle of something and-"

Before I have the chance to finish, she cuts me off. "I want you to come with me, Lily."

I stare at her for a few minutes before looking at Kat, frowning. Unsure if I heard her correctly. My eyes land back onto her's when she speaks again.

"I brought two tickets. One for me and one spare but no one else can make it. I thought that maybe you would come with me?"

I shake my head in utter belief. "Why me?"

She smiles at me. "Well because you're one of my best friends and that your favourite bands will be performing too..."

"Like?" I ask, a small smile starting to play on my lips with excitement as she starts to tease me.

"Oh, you know... The Arctic Monkeys, Florence + The Machine, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers..."

"Oh my God, Lily! You _have _to go!" Kathryn says to me, getting excited on my behalf.

I shake my head, "But what about you? I can't just go and leave you for days. Not now. Not after all of this."

She just shakes her head at me whilst taking my hand in hers. "Baby, it'll be good for you. And besides, you'll be with Kaya so I know you'll be ok."

"She's right. I'll take extremely good care of you." I hear Kaya say.

I glance at her then smile at Kat, "You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind." She says as she places a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"O...kay" I say before facing Kaya again. "Okay, I guess it seems like you have yourself a Festival buddy!"

Kaya smiles and raises an eyebrow, "And a tent buddy!" She adds with a cheeky wink before grabbing a beer off the side.

"A, a what?" I say, confused and dazed in my thinking and what she said.

"Oh," She flaps her hand around, "As long as your girlfriend doesn't mind me letting you share a tent with me for 3 nights as well, that is."

Kaya quickly looks over at Kat, whose too busy laughing to notice the slight flirtatious remarks and smirks that she's been giving me.

"Oh no, definitely no problem there, Kay. Be my guest." Kat says whilst giggling into my side.

"Good." She says before I have time to say anything of my own. Even though I can't think of anything as thoughts of me and Kaya in a tent at a festival, drunk in a field together, begin to fill my head up.

I wouldn't ever think of Kaya like that before. Definitely not. But with the looks she keeps throwing my way, it's adding to my confusion.

"That's settled then."

I shake off the thoughts when I feel Kat cuddle even further into me. I look down at her and smile. No, I definitely wouldn't think anything like that when I have this stunning beauty in my arms.

With that, I clear my throat and ask what Kaya's up to while we watch her potter around the kitchen area of my apartment.

"I was just going to get something quick to eat then go bed." She spins round to face us and smiles. "But seeing as you two seem very comfy there together, I guess I should really leave. I wouldn't want to outstay my welcome or anything."

Slightly puzzled, I look around the room then the realisation hits me.

"I'm so sorry, Kaya. We'll go to our bedroom if you want to get some sleep."

Kat nods. "I didn't think. Sorry, Kay. We'll clear this lot up so you can have the sofa and everything back."

She comes over whilst sipping her beer. "No, really it's fine. You don't need to do that. It must have took you ages to set up, Kat."

I watch as Kathryn looks around at her makeshift picnic and candle's and slightly nods to herself. Noticing how much it had all meant to Kat and wanting us to enjoy every moment of it together, just like how she would have wanted, I smile and face Kaya again.

"I'll tell you what," I say, "You can have our room for the night. Might also give you a bit of a break from sleeping on the sofa too."

Kaya looks between me and Kat. "Are you sure?"

Kat nods in agreement. "It's a great idea. You go and have a good nights sleep. I bet that old sofa hasn't been kind to you for letting you do that."

She smiles. "Not really, but after a few beers, sleep soon comes."

I laugh. "Go on. Go and sleep in our room for the night. We don't mind." As she opens her mouth to speak, I cut her off. "And before you ask, yes, the sheets were freshly changed this morning."

"Thank you." She says whilst smiling happily and as she picks up her things and her beer.

"You're welcome." I say, before laying back down, beside Kat.

"Sure you don't want to go in there first though?" She adds, just before she leaves the room. "You know, get any _'toys_' you might want to sleep with tonight?" She says, laughing her head off.

"Kaya!" I scream in sudden shock whilst grabbing hold of a cushion that's near me and chucking it at her, "Get to your room!"

Kathryn, whose turned an adorable shade of scarlet, watches Kaya as she skips off to our room, still laughing at her own joke and at our slight embarrassment.

"_Good_ night, girls!" She says over her shoulder and with an added wink.

Once the door closes, I breathe a sign of relief and settle back down with Kat whose already moving herself back into my open arms.

"Thank God for that." She says, sighing to herself. "I've finally got you all to myself again-"

"Oh, I almost forgot." Kaya says, cutting off Kat, as the bedroom door opens wide and all you can see is a half naked Kaya standing right there in front of us. "I'm moving back to my own flat tomorrow. Thought that now you have Lily all safe and sound, you'll want your place back, so..."

I stare at her eyes and try to keep my eyes on her and on nothing but her eyes.

"Aw, Kaya." I hear Kat say.

"Well, because of that and also because of my boyfriend has finally finished filming his film so he's coming back home too." She say whilst smiling that brilliant white smile of hers.

I clear my throat. "Oh course, yeah, he's back, isn't he?"

Kathryn nudges me before talking to Kaya once more. "Well, we'll help you move back in and then have lunch later on tomorrow, if you like?"

Still smiling, she nods her head. "Sounds like a plan. See you both in the morning then. Night" And with that, the door closes. And the half naked form of Kaya disappears from sight.

"Perfect." Kat says as she leans over me. "I have both you _and _our little cocoon back."

It pulls me out of my hazy daze and I start giggling at her. "A cocoon? Are you serious?"

Laughing with me, she agrees. "Yes, a cocoon. You know, our home?"

"I know what you meant, idiot." I reply, still slightly laughing at her adorable cuteness. "Come back here, you." I say, opening my arms back out for her to settle back into. "_'Cocoon' _yourself back here."

Smiling and shaking her head, she lays back onto me and I kiss the top of her head. "Thank you for all this again. It really is lovely and perfect." I say, while looking over the room, at what she had created, before pulling a blanket over the top of us. "I love you."

"I love you too." She replies whilst placing a soft, tender kiss in the crook of my neck where her head is gently laying.

Both of us finally alone and happy at just being cuddled up together, in and on the blankets on the floor, listening to the music coming from the iPod dock that was still playing on the side. All thoughts from this morning finally gone.

__You know I never want to let you down_  
><em>It cuts me up to see you sad<em>  
><em>And I wish that I could undo what I've done<em>  
><em>Give back the faith in me you had.<em>_

___Oh yeah_, _Oh yeah.___

We stayed up for a little while longer after Kaya had gone to bed, just talking and fooling around. Kathryn laying on top of me, both of our legs in between each others and us playing around like we always do. The sound of GOTYE coming through the speakers, occasionally reminding me of what I've got as I let my thoughts drift off.

_You know I love you more than anyone_  
><em>But I get a little wrapped up in myself<em>  
><em>But you know I never want to do you wrong<em>  
><em>Bring into question what we have.<em>

As our conversations and mess abouts start to die down, Kat whispers up into my ear, "Can I have a kiss?"

It's so unexpected, I just smile and lightly kiss her on her cheek with a quick look over towards the bedroom door. "Wait until Kaya is asleep." I whisper back to her.

She nods and smiles back in agreement with me whilst carrying on cuddling into me as we waited. As we waited, my eyes kept on drifting back towards the bedroom door and to Kaya. And to how she had acted towards me earlier this evening.

After what had felt like a small while, Kat's soft, husky voice broke into my thoughts. "Lily? Are you awake?"

Keeping my eyes closed and without responding, I heard her giggle before I felt her turn her head and kiss my cheek.

"Where was that, sleepy head?" I heard her teasingly ask me.

"Hmm, my cheek." I say whilst smiling flirtatiously, even though I still keep my eyes closed.

I then feel another soft kiss, only this time it's even closer to my lips, and again I hear, "Where was that?"

I try to keep my smile from her adorableness as I hear her giggling. But I can't help myself when I feel her go to kiss me for a third time, only this time it's closer and I quickly turn my head and our lips finally meet.

With our lips softly moving together, it's not long before she can't get enough of the sweet vanilla taste of them that I know she loves, and she soon starts to suck and lick my bottom lip. Slowly sliding her tongue in to meet mine.

A sudden thought is pushed into my mind. Before I know what I'm doing, I quickly pull away from her to check if the bedroom door was still shut. It is and I hope that Kaya is fast asleep.

However, my thoughts of Kaya from behind the door are soon forgotten again the moment I feel Kat's warm hand moving up the back of my shirt and slowly moving back down the sides of my back and stomach whilst she softly bites and licks my ear and neck. I'm soon distracted and roll her over so I'm straddling her, my mouth meeting hers again and our tongue's playing with each others. She tastes so good and the feeling is overwhelming.

When Kat had left the Courtroom this morning and didn't come back, I never thought I would ever get to do this again. I thought I had lost the one girl who I have ever loved. And yet here we. And I'm definitely going to make it last...

__Oh yeah_  
><em>I know I let you down<em>  
><em>I know I let you down<em>  
><em>But you're giving me a chance.<em>_

* * *

><p><strong>I'm going to be honest here and say that I don't like this chapter. I'll blame it on working 62 hours, 6 days straight every single week and being incredibly tired. I'll also use that same excuse for not updating sooner. However, from the end of March, you'll be getting updates a lot, LOT quicker as I've a new job, yay! So you may have a new chapter every single weekend. Good times.<strong>

**I'll now explain the LLP that I used in the fic... Someone asked on Kat's chat part on her forum of her blog, "Some of us follow Ana Marie Ramos on Twitter, and we saw that you sent Lily a message saying, "_Love from your LLP, Kat xx_" If it's not too personal, could you tell us what LLP means?"**

**She replied with, "_It's a nickname me and Lily have for each other_."**

**Save to say that the fangirl in me went crazy at reading that, haha. But what do _YOU_ think LLP means?**

**Lily's Little Prescott, Lily's Little Person… I'd love to hear your ideas in a review to make us all laugh and smile. I might even use your idea in the future ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for all of your reviews, they really do cheer me up and help me write after a tough day :)<strong>

**_Karin_ left a review saying that Kat had read this fic... ? Just wondering if you could tell me more as you don't know how much I freaked out after reading that! And thank you for letting me know x**


	26. A night under the stars

**Lily's POV**

"Are you sure you've got everything?" Asks Kat as she helps me put my bags into the car, along with Kaya's.

I look up at her, "For the one hundredth time, yes!"

Kat still looks unsure as I put the last bag into the boot. I look up again and sigh when I see her frowning at me. "What?"

Her lips slowly turn into a smile, "Have you even got the tickets?"

I roll my eyes and tap the pockets of my jacket, "Yes! They're..." I check my jean pockets, "They're..."

I stop as I hear her giggling. "You're useless! I knew there'd be something."

I lean back against the car and shake my head at my own stupidity as I watch her head back into the flat to get them off of the side as I suddenly remember putting them there, so I _wouldn't_ forget.

I stay where I am as I watch her pass Kaya, who frowns and comes out to me to put the last of her things into the car. "What she laughing at?"

I smile and shake my head, "Nothing."

"Okay." Kaya nods and passes it off, "Now have you got everything?"

"For fucks sake! Does everyone really think that I'm a really forgettable twat around here, or what?" I say and stare at her. I just receive a confused look. Shaking my head, I point to the car, "Never mind. If you're ready, get in."

With that, I turn round and head back indoors to find my gorgeous redhead. I don't even get to the front door as she comes bumbling out to me, a goofy grin on her face and the tickets in her hand.

"Here you are." She says with a cheeky smile as she places them in my hand.

"Thanks," I say, as I raise my eyebrow. "What are you up to? Or should I say, what have you done?"

She shrugs, "Who says that I've done anything?"

I still eye her suspiciously but when she puts her arms around my neck, all thoughts are forgotten.

"Now come here you, I'm not going to be able to do this for a few days."

She leans forward, our foreheads touching, our noses touching, our lips _almost _touching. It only makes me want to kiss her even more.

"I'm going to miss you." I whisper.

"I'm going to miss you more." She whispers back before our lips finally touch for a sweet kiss and I pull her closer to me.

We're like that for what seems like a good 5 minutes before a voice finally breaks our little moment up.

"If this carries on any longer, someone will have to invest in a puke bucket for me!"

Kat giggles as I flip the bird to Kaya. "Oh look, you've managed to give my middle finger a boner. Well done."

I turn back to face Kat and smile. "Sorry," I say as I wrap my arms back round her, "But I guess I better get going."

"That's ok. Just come back here for a second first though..." She says as she pulls my head back down to meet hers. With her soft, warm tongue running along the bottom of my lip, we soon found ourselves in yet another heated kiss.

It wasn't until I felt myself being pulled backwards that we stopped. "The fuck-"

I suddenly find myself starring into the blue eyes of Kaya and sigh, "Yes, ok! I'm coming!" She raises an eyebrow and grins, "Ugh, you wish."

"You have exactly one minute before I leave without you." She says and turns round to head back to the car. "60, 59, 58, 57, 56..." She says over her shoulder.

I roll my eyes but I can't help but smile.

Kat takes my hand and we walk down to the car where Kaya's getting into the drivers seat.

"You take care and have fun, yeah?" She says, her hand still in mine.

"I will. And call me anytime, all right? Try and not to get too lonely without me." I say smiling.

She looks to be thinking as she puts her arms back round my neck. "Oh, I don't think I will actually. I will not only be able to have a tidy, quiet house, but also a whole big bed to myself too. I can finally stretch out and not have the covers pinched off of me at night."

I giggle, "Cheeky sod!" I then lean down and whisper in her ear. "But you will miss me."

"Hm, maybe." She whispers. "Just think that whilst you settle down for the night on the cold, hard floor of a tent..." She whispers even closer into my ear, her soft, warm breath tickling my neck, "I'll be under the sheets of our big, soft bed making myself scream your name out loud in all different types of ways possible."

I stand there, the blood filling up my cheeks and not being able to breathe as she places a soft kiss on my lips before suddenly letting me go to open the passenger side door of the car.

I look at her and gulp as she winks at me, "Enjoy" She says in that Heavenly husky voice of hers.

I shake my head of all thoughts and walk towards the open door. "You're evil, Miss. Prescott." I say as I walk past her and sit down in the car.

"You love it." She says as she closes the door.

I quickly roll down the window. "I'll see you in a few days then."

Kat smiles as she bends down slightly to talk to me. "Yeah, you will."

"I love you." I say, smiling.

"I love you too." She says as she leans through the window to give me a kiss.

Kaya coughs and starts the car, "Finally!"

I shake my head. "I'll call you when we get there."

"Ok, babe. Speak to you later." She says and waves over to Kay. "Bye Kaya. Take care of her."

She laughs, "Oh, I will. Believe me."

I frown at her and look back at my girl. "See you then."

She steps back and waves, "Yeah. See you."

With that and before anything else can be said, Kaya drives us away. "You are _so _fucking, pussy whipped!"

I slap her arm, "Fuck off and concentrate on driving!" I say but neither of us can help but laugh at one another.

* * *

><p>"So if that part went there, where the hell does this bit go?" I say as I frown at a mental rod in my hand. It's not until I realise that I've not been given a reply that I look over to Kaya. Whose laying on the floor, using one of the bags as a pillow and appears to be sleeping. I sigh and shake my head. "Fucking useless."<p>

"Oi, I heard that." She says without moving.

"Oh good, you are still awake then. At least that's something."

She frowns and removes her sunglasses whilst lifting her head up to look at me properly. "What?" She then looks at what is supposed to be a tent, that is currently still collapsed on the ground. Exactly how it's been for around half an hour. "You not put that up yet?"

Rolling my eyes, I chuck her the instructions. "Well it would be up if someone bothered to help me."

"Well why didn't you say?" She says and I can't help but stare at her, unamused and slightly pissed off.

"I do hope that you know that there is a very high chance of you and me both sleeping out with the stars tonight." I say as I watch her put the instructions down and grab some of the poles and starts setting it up without looking at where they're meant to go.

She stops and raises an eyebrow, "You seriously think I'd be doing that, Loveless? Maybe if I'm drunk enough, then yeah, maybe. But right now, definitely not!"

I giggle at her but then suddenly stop as I realise that in just within a few minutes, the tent is almost completely up!

"How. The. Fu-"

Kaya shrugs. "If you honestly don't know how to put one of these things up then you really are a useless twat, Lily!"

* * *

><p>After an hour of finally setting up our home for the next few days, getting to know where everything is and trying not to laugh as Kaya freaked out about how filthy the port-a-loo's were already, we finally made it down to the VIP area where we could grab a couple of drinks, as the main bands don't start performing until tomorrow.<p>

As I order our drinks, I hear a familiar voice. Confused, I turn to look but am suddenly thrown sideways a little.

"Oh, fuck!" Kaya lets out and quickly hides behind me, as if my smallish body would suddenly help make her invisible and never to be seen again by anyone.

I turn my head slightly to look at Kaya, whose now half standing and half kneeling down into me and trying her best not to be seen.

"Just exactly what the fuck do you think you are doing?" I ask and looking somewhat confused at her madness.

"Ssh, shut up, don't-" She says all at once, without looking up at me and keeping her eyes trained on two men who are talking and laughing with one another.

I sigh and shake my head whilst putting my hands out, as if I've given up on her and don't give a fuck anymore. I pay the barman, grab the drinks and walk over towards the red, inflatable chairs. Leaving her now in full view of everyone.

"Lily!" She squeaks out loud and quickly rushes over to me. But it's too late.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. If it isn't my two favourite ladies..." Jack says with a goofy grin on his face. He's obviously had quite a bit to drink as when he's drunk enough, it's not hard for him to turn into his character, Cook, without even trying.

"Ugh." She sighs, both unimpressed and slightly embarrassed because of who he's with. Sighing, she finally grabs her drink that I've been holding out for her to take and she flops down into a chair opposite me.

When she faces me again, I smile and smirk as I finally realise why she was trying to hide.

I look up at the two lads and smile brightly and in an almost cheerful, sing-a-long voice, just to piss Kaya off, I say, "Hi Jack. Hi Nick."

I try to stifle a laugh from the face she pulls as she mimics, "Hi Jack. Hi Nick." Quietly to herself.

"Why don't you two get some drinks and join us?" I ask while trying my hardest not to laugh at Kaya, whose sinking even lower into her chair as a way of either trying to hide or because she knows she's defeated and has to now put up with a conversation with her ex boyfriend. And maybe for the whole weekend.

"So," I say whilst taking a sip of my drink to help me from laughing my head off with my attempts of trying to annoy Kaya even more. "Are you here for the whole weekend, or just for the Saturday gig?"

Nicholas smiles as he sits down on the grass next to me, Jack opposite with Kaya. "The whole weekend. There's too many good acts to miss this year."

I bite my lip when I hear Kaya grown. "Ugh, I thought you couldn't come here anyway. I did ask if you wanted my spare ticket." She says to Jack.

Jack grins as he places an arm round Kaya as he sits back in his chair, enjoying the sunshine as he sips on his beer. "I weren't my lil Scodders, but well, Nick here offered me a ticket for free. And I couldn't say no now, could I? Under the condition that I buy him plenty of beers, of course. But we're all here and together now though, aren't we?" He says, happily.

I watch as she rolls her eyes, "Yeah. We are."

Deciding that she's gone through enough torture, I get up and nod towards her. "You wanted to check that thing out, didn't you? Best if we go now before even more people turn up and we lose our chance."

She stays sitting in the chair but now with a very confused look on her face.

"Where are you's off to? We could come along too, if you like?" Asks Nick.

Kaya raises her eyebrow at me, still none the wiser.

I sigh, "Oh, me and Kaya just wanted to go to this little thing."

"What thing?" Kaya asks.

"The tent thing." I say, before I quickly think up of something. "You know the girly tent thing? You wanted a manicure or whatever it is you said that they do in there."

I breathe a sigh of relief when the penny finally drops and she soon shoots up and out of her chair, a huge smile on her face. "Oh yeah! The girl tent thingy!"

I giggle as she tries to look and sound convincing to the lads. For an actress, she's a terrible liar when it comes to the real world.

"Mm, yeah. They do all manicures and facials and things in the tent so you know, it won't really be your sort of thing." She says before quickly looking up at me. "Shall we go then?"

"Yep. Lets." I say, smiling as she soon starts walking away. "I'll see you two around." I say to the two boys before quickly following after her.

I loop my arm through hers when I finally catch up with her and we laugh.

"The fuck is he even here for?" She says.

"How do I know?" I say as our giggles start to die down. "Did you see his little, puppy dog eyes?"

I can't help but laugh again which results in a hard slap on the arm. "Ugh, don't." She says at the same time.

We carry on walking around in silence for a few more minutes before I finally break the quietness of our thinking.

"He still likes you. I could tell." I say as I look up at her.

She doesn't say anything but keeps her eyes on the ground, a frown on her face.

"Do you still like him?" I ask. "You know, deep down, do you still like him a little?"

Her face shoots up, "No! Absolutely not. Besides, I'm with Elliot now."

"Yeah, Elliot whose always working away."

"That's not fair, Lily." She says as she continues walking."

I follow. "No, I know. I'm sorry."

She smiles, "That's ok. And if I'm honest, I still find him a little handsome still."

I laugh, slightly. "You were like a school girl! All blushy and acting shy and embarrassed. And nervous, may I add. Very nervous."

"I was not!" She almost shouts, with a funny but horrified expression on her face.

"Ok, not quite. But seeing you freak out... It was quite adorable and sweet actually."

Kaya wraps an arm around me and smiles whilst acting slightly goofy, "Aw, you think I'm sweet!"

I suddenly stop, remembering how flirty she's been with me for the past few days. "No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that!"

But it's too late as she walks in front of me and winks before turning back round and walks off without me. I stand there, watching after her and let out a sigh. "Fucks sake."

* * *

><p>I walk through the VIP Area in search of Kaya, but I can't seem to find her. I walk into one of the marquee's and see a huge crowd of people watching one of the pre festival entertainment shows. As the man on stage continues to sing an Adele cover, I try my best to get through the crowd and continue to look for Kaya, thinking she'll be here.<p>

Old friend, why are you so shy?  
>Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.<p>

As if by magic, I spot her near the bar, ordering some drinks. I start to make my way over to her but stop as I notice Nick has found her before me and they're talking to one another.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.<br>I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
>That for me, it isn't over.<p>

I continue watching them for a little bit longer, but then decide to leave them to it. It's probably best that they're left alone for a little while, to talk. So I turn back round, thinking my friend will be ok. She has more balls than a guy, so figured she'd be absolutely fine without me.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
>I wish nothing but the best for you too<br>Don't forget me, I beg  
>I remember you said,<br>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,  
>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "<br>Yeah

I walk back outside and into the sunshine to see what else is in the VIP Area and to find Jack. Before he drinks himself into an oblivion somewhere and causes absolute chaos.

Nothing compares  
>No worries or cares<br>Regrets and mistakes  
>They are memories made.<br>Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

* * *

><p>As I thought, I found Jack exactly where we had left him. Sitting in his chair, drinking. What I was surprised to find though, is that he seemed to still be on his same pint of beer that we left him with.<p>

"Blondie!" He shouts, the second he sees me walking over to him.

I laugh, "It's not Blondie, anymore, Jack. It's Lily!"

We laugh as I sit down next to him. "Ah, the good old days. Hey."

I smile. "Yep. The good old days."

"Where are Kaya and Nick, anyway?" He says, when he realises that we're the only two there.

"Oh, they're having a drink and talking in one of the pre event tents." I say, sitting back comfortably in my chair.

He grins. "I knew it wouldn't take him long!"

Frowning, I sit back up again. "What do you mean?" He doesn't reply as he carries on grinning into his pint and carries on drinking. "Jack, what do you mean, "It wouldn't him long?""

He looks up at me and looks serious this time. "He's still in love with her, Lily. Always has been."

* * *

><p>After another round of drinks in, we decided to see what was on offer in the VIP Area. I also wanted to find something to do, to take my mind off of things.<p>

I had a feeling that Nick still really liked Kaya. But actually hearing the words that he still _loved_ her, made me feel a little unsettled. I don't know why. But that was just how I felt.

I tried phoning her, but nothing. So, me and Jack decided to go and have some fun.

"What the fuck was that?" I say, laughing my head.

"Look, I usually am really good at this." He replies with his hands in the air, trying to defend himself.

"Yeah, well, not with about 6 pints of beer in your stomach you're not!" I say, trying not to laugh again as he tries to attempt to kick a ball into one of the 3 holes in the wall, but almost falls over, yet again.

"Well, if you really think that you can do better then me, Loveless, then let's see you try, shall we?" He says whilst stepping away from the ball.

Smiling gladly and accepting the challenge, I walk up to the ball. Hearing the crowd that had seen our antics, inspired me more. So, whilst I was taking off my flip flops, I encouraged the crowd some more by waving my arms to help them shout my name some more.

"Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily!" They shouted.

Jack looked surprised. "Aw, come on! That's not fair. Where was my cheers?"

I laugh, "I guess it has been proven. People really do love Naomi more than you... Cock."

Laughing even more at his upset face, I turn back round and quickly prepare myself. Before I knew it, the crowd started jumping up and down with excitement and let off an all mighty roar of applause as the ball I just kicked, went straight through one of the cut out holes and straight into the back of the net.

"YES!" I shout and run around, hugging the people in the crowd. Much their happiness.

When I face Jack again, he's shaking his head but smiling. I walk up to him and say, "And that's with _seven _pints of beer, my friend."

Quickly putting my flip flops back on, I head over to the games guy and he lets me choose my prize.

"That one." I say, whilst pointing to the perfect gift I picked.

He hands it to me and thanking him, I turn back and walk over to Jack.

"I wonder who that's for." He says, looking at the bear in my hands.

"Am I really that predictable?" I say, whilst looking at the bear that I've just won and back at him. Before he speaks again, I realise I am. "Don't even say a word! Besides, Kat will love it and that's all that matters."

I walk over to the bar, Jack following. "You really do act like a married couple at times."

I hit him on the arm and order us some more drinks. "I was going to buy you a drink as a sorry for beating you. But after that comment, you're paying."

* * *

><p>We lost all track of time as we sat in the dark, in our blow up chairs outside one of the trailer bars. Me, cuddled up to Kat's bear.<p>

It wasn't until I saw Nick walking towards us that I totally forgot about leaving him and Kaya in the tent hours before. I was having so much fun with Jack, that it had completely slipped my mind.

"Hey up, my man! Come and join us. But please be aware, that we are rather sloshed." Says a rather drunken Jack.

I frown when I see Nick's face as he sits down next to me. Knowing something was wrong as it had looked like he had been crying.

"Fancy a beer? I could do with another. I'll go and get us some."

Jack's about to attempt to stand up, but Nick beats him to it. "It's alright mate. I'll go get one."

As he goes, Jack sits back down so I lean towards him. "You've still already got drink, buddy. Why don't you stay there and I'll go get myself another with Nick, ok?"

"Fair do's, Loveless lovely." He says as he settles back in his chair, looking rather sleepy now.

I get up and walk over to Nick, whose stayed by the bar, drinking his drink. Without saying a word, I order my drink, pay then turn to face him. "You alright?" I ask, feeling it's slightly wrong to ask him that as you can clearly tell in this light that he has indeed been crying.

He doesn't answer but carries on starring into space as he sips on his drink.

I lean against the side of the bar, feeling quite unsteady at standing on my drunken feet and stare at him for a few minutes, wondering on what to say next. Remembering what Jack had told me before, I decide to just come out with it. It's not like we're all that close anyone. What have I got to lose?

Taking a sip of my drink, I decide it's now or never. "So, Jack told me something earlier. I know I probably shouldn't mention it as it's not really any of my business but Kaya is one of my closest friends after all."

He finally looks up at me. It's only for a split second because he turned away again, but something in his eyes was different. He didn't look hurt or upset. Maybe it was anger or something else. I decide to carry on regardless. Something wasn't right here.

Nick still loves Kaya. Kaya had admitted that she does still find him rather handsome. But she had also clearly pointed out that she was still very much with Elliot. The look in Nick's eyes wasn't hurt. Of course, he would have been upset if he had come clean with her and told her exactly how he still feels, to which she may have knocked him back. Hence why he must have been crying earlier on. But those eyes...

Maybe he's jealous of Eliiot.

I have to know what happened, wether it hurts him to know that Jack had betrayed his trust and told me behind his back or not. I have to know what had happened.

"Jack told me that you still love Kaya, Nick. Is that true? After everything and all these years. You still have feelings for her?"

He finally turns to face me. His face, expressionless. I frown.

"Nick, what is going on? I know something must have happened. Talk to me." I say whilst putting my hand on his arm.

He pushes my hand away and stares at me, anger in his voice. "Ask her."

"What? Ask her what, Nicholas?" I ask, confused.

He snorts, "Like you don't already know."

I shake my head. "So, she knocked you back because she's moved on with Elliot. She loves him. Now, you're upset and angry-"

I stop talking as he starts laughing. Not a happy laugh, but a strange, evil sort of laugh.

"She doesn't love him, you idiot. She loves YOU!"

* * *

><p>I think an hour passes by. Probably two. Yet I'm still stood in the exactly same spot, starring straight into Nick's eyes and my hand is still gripping onto the bar. I can't think, let alone breathe.<p>

"Is this some kind of joke or something?" I hear a shaky voice say before registering it as my own. "Me?"

He stops laughing and faces back to the bar, shaking his head. "Yes, you. She told me everything. That she can't be with me, that she doesn't even think she should be with Elliot because it's wrong. That everything is wrong. She's in love with someone else. Someone who she shouldn't be and has tried her hardest to turn off her feelings. To just carry on being good friends with this person. When I asked who, it took some convincing to get it out of her, but what I heard before she ran off couldn't be mistaken. We only know one, Lily."

I don't know what to say. Things started to make some sense. She has been quite flirty with me for the past few days but she knows how madly in love I am with Kat. Why me? She even helped me when me and Kat broke up and fell out. Throughout all the trials and tribulations, she was there. She picked me back up. Let me stay at hers when I drank so much, before crashing my car and almost killing myself because it felt like Kat never wanted me back. Yet, she was right there for me...

"Where is she?" I say. "Where the fuck is she?" I quickly repeat, the confusion and anger beginning to make a deadly mix.

Nick turns to face me, his face starting to soften. "You really didn't have any idea, did you?"

I stand, starring back him. Nothing making sense in my now messed up head of mine.

"I did manage to shout to her that you wouldn't feel the same. You're in too deep with Kat. That it's her you love, not Kaya. But I don't think she heard. She just ran off somewhere."

Without a word, I turn around and walk away from him to go and look for her. To look for some answers. With tears rolling down my face and my head filled with so much confusion and questions and whys. I'm not sure if I'm ready to face what I want to hear. Let alone the person who can blow everything apart again...

* * *

><p>The night sky is clear and full of so many stars as Kaya lays on the grass, looking up at them. Empty beer bottles and pills lay all around her as tears fall from her eyes and down her cheeks.<p>

"It's over now. It's all over." She whispers and closes her eyes.

Adele is heard singing somewhere on one of the stages. Her voice echoing around the night.

I heard that you're settled down  
>That you found a girl and you're married now.<br>I heard that your dreams came true.  
>Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I bet you didn't expect to see an update of this now, did you? Sorry it's been a good few months but things got hectic and then I lost all my writing mojo. Along with my job :(<strong>

**But as I seem to have a lot more time on my hands again, I think I'll be better at updating my chapters for you. So you don't have to worry. I'm sure you won't be waiting another 8 months for the next chapter!**

**Not quite happy with this chapter, not sure if it's because I haven't wrote for so long, I don't know. My excuse is that I wanted to keep it light and a little bit fun before all the drama starts again...**


	27. Tomorrow, I'll lose you

**Lily's POV**

I'm not sure if it was the cold, nights air that I was running through, or if it was the shock of what I had heard, but I suddenly felt sober. If it wasn't for all of the questions running around in my head and the confusion, I might still be drinking the night away and having a good time. But instead, I'm wondering around tents, whilst attempting not to fall over wires and empty beer cans as I search for the one person who I thought was my friend. A friend who I thought I could always rely on and trust, but is now just someone who I want to tear the head off of because of the sheer damage that this dangerous situation could cause. It could ruin the one thing that I've always ever wanted. It could end up ruining us all.

I carry on manoeuvring my way through the field full tents, tent pegs, wires and countless amounts of empty beer cups and cans. All the time, trying to keep my eyes focused all around me for any sign of Kaya. I must have spent at least an hour looking for her but nothing.

Finally deciding that what's done is done, she'll be off somewhere crying and nothing more can be done until the morning, I start walking towards to where I think our tent is. Every tent looking the same as the next in the dark, making it slightly more difficult than I had thought. Especially with a belly full of beer and cider.

After another 20 minutes of searching, I breathe a sign of relief as I come across, what I believe is indeed our tent and walk towards it.

As I get closer, I start taking slower steps and frown at something that I see just outside the entrance of our tent. Looking around me, but finding no one to help me if needed, I gulp and get closer. My voice getting trapped in my throat when I suddenly realise exactly what it is.

The unmistakable outline of Kaya laying on the floor in the dark, with God knows how many pills and bottles of beer laying all around her.

"Kaya!" I let out as my heart drops and I fall down to her, picking her up in my arms and cradling her into my body. "Kaya, the fuck? Wake up!" I say as I shake her, hoping that it'll be enough.

Hearing a groan and a frown starting to appear on her face, I cradle her even closer to help keep her warm after suddenly realising how cold it is again. But an arm reaches out and starts trying to push my body away from hers.

"The fuck you done, Kaya?" I say, trying to keep her still and looking at the pills on the grass. "What have you took? How many?"

Somehow though, she manages to get out of my grip and sits opposite me, bringing her knees up to wrap her arms around them and to rest her head on. "Don't worry, I didn't take a damn one. I must just have passed out on drink." She says in a quiet, harsh whisper. Her voice both croaky and shaky from the cold and sleep. "But I bet you wish I had took them, though."

"That's not fair." I say, disgusted that she would think that. That I would wish for her to be dead. I may have wanted her dead when my dark thoughts took over, but for it to actually happen? Absolutely not. To say you want to kill someone, to rip their head off, is just a matter of speech. You wouldn't actually do it. Or let it happen.

"He told you then." Kaya simply says.

I drop my eyes to the ground, suddenly not wanting to look at her anymore. Feeling exposed to her. I mirror her and tuck my knees under my own chin and wrap my arms tightly around me. Trying to calm my angry thoughts that start to work their way back into my mind as I do so.

My eyes still facing away, I hear her sigh. "I never wanted this, you know."

I snort, "What? To fall in love with your best friend?"

"Is it really that bad to just have feelings for you?" She asks, confused.

I look up at her then, frowning. "It's not just how you feel, Kaya. It's the fact that you can blow everything apart. Me and Kat, we're..." At the mention of Kathryn's name, she looks away, hurt. "So, even mentioning her name is painful to you now?" I ask, shaking my head. "You're pathetic."

She let's out a short, evil type laugh, "Oh, I'm pathetic, am I?"

"Yes, yes you are." I say. "You couldn't just leave this. You couldn't try and get over this pathetic, little crush you have and go back to Elliot. The man that loves you and adores you so, so much. No, you-"

"Crush? You think I have a crush on you?" She shouts, her eyes wide. "Lily, believe me. I've tried to bury it, of course I have. But my feelings for you kept on building and building. The closer you've been getting with Kat the past few days started hurting me. You two were finally putting everything behind you both and this time, I knew. I knew that you's can finally get through absolutely anything that comes your way in the future. You two are both strong enough and know one another better than anyone else now. You both know how to help the other, when one of you have been hurt. And you both know how to fix it. To fix one another, when broken. You are both so much happier than you have ever been and I hate it."

I stare at her, confused. "How can you hate us for being so in love and happy with one another? You're our _friend_. You should be happy for us, too."

"Because now she finally has you..." She says, her voice starting to break a little, "No one else will."

I watch as I notice that she's started crying, black lines of mascara falling down her saddened face.

"You've been one hell of an amazing friend and we've been through so much together. And all of the incredible things we've done together over the years, I'll remember them forever." She says whilst wiping a tear from her eye. "I don't know when or why it even happened but it just did." She looks up at me then. "I started to fall for you and you've been there for me more than Elliot ever has."

I frown, a thought suddenly popping into my messed up head, trying to take it all in. "Did you even ask Elliot if he wanted that spare ticket to come here? Or was is it just your way to get me here? So you could just have some time with me? By yourself?"

She looks away, a guilty look written all over her face. My eyes close as I start feeling ill. My stomach gives way as the reality starts to sink in.

"And the other night... The past few days, even... I wasn't imagining it, was I? You really have just been openly flirting with me? Even with Kat around."

Kaya still doesn't look up and more tears start falling from her eyes.

"Jeez." I say. Everything finally piecing together.

"I tried. I really did try but then Nick..." She sighs.

"You still didn't have to say anything. You could have kept it to yourself, you could have just walked away. No one had to know. You could have kept _fighting_ it."

"Do you know how hard that is, Lily?" She says, her head snapping up to face mine. "Do you know how hard it is to keep it to yourself when all you can see is how happy you are with Kathryn? It's torture. Absolute torture."

I shake my head and sigh. Wanting to end this, not wanting to hear anymore but knowing that we're going to have to sort something before it could hurt the one person who means the most to me in the world right now.

"It's torture because I can't escape it. Torture because all I want is you but all I see is you and how happy you are with another of my bestest friends. And it's dangerous. Dangerous because I'm going to lose you and many more people I care so much about. It's going to blow a friendship apart and it's all because of me."

"I hate you." I say, my thoughts coming out before I can stop them. "I hate you so much."

"Because I love you?" She says, without blinking. "See, you can get up and walk away. You know that. But we won't ever be able to set eyes on one another ever again because I can't switch my feelings off with a click of a switch. My feelings are always going to be there. You, on the other hand, you're going to be the one who won't be able to look at me and wonder if you'll be safe with me in your kitchen whilst Kathryn is getting ready in the bathroom for a night out because all you're going to be plagued with, is thoughts of me taking advantage of you. Not being able to trust me anymore incase my feelings get the better of me."

She shakes her head, "You say I'm the pathetic one and yet it's you. I've let these feelings eat me up and I've even often cried myself to sleep at night. But really, it's you who won't be able to handle this either. Because even if you can't trust me being around you, or to think that it might upset your perfect, little girlfriend, and that you think that maybe she won't trust _you_ when me and you are out drunk together, it's also the thought that if we don't manage to get over this, you're always going to have that pain and guilt hanging over us as this friendship ends."

"So, go on. Get up and walk away. You can wipe away your tears, but you try and tell me that you still don't feel the pain." She looks at me for a few more minutes, then shakes her head. A small yet evil like smile on her face, "You can't walk away. You can't walk away and yet you can't seem to forgive me for how I feel? I _can't _help how I feel, Lily."

"No. I know you can't help how you feel." I eventually say as I wipe the tears away from my eyes as I realise that I've been crying too.

Maybe I have been over thinking things. Maybe I will just have to be careful when out drinking with Kaya. But she would know that nothing would ever happen between us anyway, because I'm far too in love with my little redhead.

"We could speak to Nick." I say, still wiping the tears away. "No one needs to know about how you really feel. No more people need to get hurt." She shakes her head. "Kaya, I don't want to lose what we already have. I don't want to lose our friendship over something so silly. We could get through this together somehow. I know that'll it be hard for you, but we can do this."

"And make things awkward for us both in the future? Lily, I know you. I do believe that when we're out drinking one night and your confused head, that always gets the better of you, it'll take over. And when it does, you're not going to be able to trust me. And to me, that's not a real friendship. Friends trust one another, no matter what."

I sit forward, taking her hands in mine. "We can help one another, Kaya. Don't do this. We _can _do this together. Let's not ruin our friendship over this, ok?"

All I can do is watch as she sits back, sighing as she lets go of my hands. "I can't do this, Lily. I'm not going to be able to stand back and watch you be so happy and loved up with Kathryn, knowing that I'm never going to experience that with you. It's going to break my heart."

Closing my eyes and shaking my head, "No. You're not doing this."

"By tomorrow morning, you can leave all this and be back with her. By the time the sun comes out though, we'll be over. Our friendship, everything. Just the memories will be left. But for me? _I'll_ be the one haunted by everything. _I_ won't be able to forget as easily because whilst you'll be all caught up with Kathryn, the love of your life again, I'd have lost you. For good. The thought alone is killing me but I have to. I have to go away."

"But where?" I say, not believing that this is real anymore.

"I don't really know, to be honest." Then a strange look appears on her face, a slight smile playing on her lips. "My friend, Elise. She's got this lovely little place in the South of France. It's not far from the sea and has such beautiful views and scenery."

"I actually think her dog, Charlie, loves me just as much her." She says, laughing gently. "So, I'll go to hers. For a bit."

I look at her, sad that she's sorted things out in her head so quickly. "You can't stay there forever, though."

"No." She replies, sighing as she does so. "A good catch up, a lot of Purple Rains, maybe even a couple of nights of hot sex on the beach too, and I'm not talking about the cocktail drinks! Then I guess," She looks down to the floor, all happiness suddenly gone, "It'll be back to my family in Brazil, maybe."

"You're really going to go, then?" I felt it was a pointless question, knowing the answer already. Knowing that in her mind, she'll feel like there's nothing left for her here anymore. Anything I say, will just fall on deaf ears. To her, she'll feel that it'll be a lot more safer to be as far away from me as possible.

She looks up at me, her eyes full of sadness. "It'll just be for a while. Until I sort myself out."

"And how long is 'a while'?" I ask.

Shrugging her shoulders & shaking her head, she looks at me straight in the eye, "How long does it take to mend a broken heart?"

I couldn't answer her then. Nor could I even look at her.

I suddenly felt awful. I felt that I really had broken my friends heart. I didn't want her. I wanted my red haired sweetheart. I didn't want her to tear the only thing I loved away from me.

I felt scared. Scared of what could happen in the future. She _was _right. I _would _feel nervous around her when we were out drunk together. I wouldn't be able to trust her. That makes me feel even more awful, because she's my _friend._

And now I'm pushing her away. Away from everything she has known. From her friends, her life, her home.

Away from me. And why? Just to protect my stupid little, fucking heart.

"Don't cry." I hear a soft, voice say as I get lost into my thoughts.

I look up and realise that she was talking to me and that I have tears running down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." I say, over and over again as the flood gates seem to open up.

She takes me into her arms and we share a tight hug. Both with tears running down our faces. This was it. There'd be no changing her mind, not now that it had been decided. I knew that no matter what I say, nothing would change anything. How could it? This was the breaking up a friendship, in raw reality.

"I'm such a selfish bitch." I say, hating myself.

"Hey." She says as she grabs my face with both of her hands and makes me look into her eyes. Mascara running down her face still. "Don't you ever dare say that again, okay? You're not selfish and most definitely not a bitch."

"How can you say that?" I say, in between my sobs and tears. "I've ruined our friendship. Everything. I even wanted to kill you when I had found out. And what for? Just because I'm scared?"

Smiling, she replies, "And I would have done the same too. If I have had you, I wouldn't want anything to come between us, either. I would protect what we have together. No matter what and no matter what the consequences."

I look at her then, as she wipes my tears away for me. "You'd be mine and I'd look after the both of us until the day I die."

"But I'm not yours." She says, dropping her hands from my face. "And never will be."

* * *

><p>After another hour of talking things through, it became clear that Kaya was completely set on leaving and nothing would change her mind. It made sense though. She needed to leave to help clear her head and because she knew that she wouldn't be able to watch me be happy with someone else, especially as we both know exactly how she feels about me. In a way, her leaving is to help keep a friendship and to help save a relationship at the same time.<p>

We also thought that, as much as it would be difficult for us both, we'd stay to enjoy the rest of the festival over the weekend. It would also help to make things look less suspicious. Kat knew how much I was looking forward to seeing the Arctic Monkeys and how excited Kaya was to just being able to come here. If we came home half way through the festival, before I had seen the band that I wanted to see so much, and the minute we get back, Kaya flies off and isn't seen or heard of again for a while, it would lead to questions on what had happened and suspicions.

So we stayed here. And the Arctic Monkeys were awesome, just like I thought they would be. Nick left to go home early though, saying that he had to go and see his manager over some new project that had come up. Me and Kaya knew that it was just an excuse, but Jack believed him and still ended up having fun without him regardless. I managed to let go and really enjoy myself and I think Kaya did too. But there was still that slight air of tension between us both. We knew things weren't right deep down and that this was the last time we'd be able to do anything like this together again.

We knew that when it was over, she'd be gone.

* * *

><p>After we had spent a morning packing up, we finally left the festival and an awkward silence descended upon us on the hours drive back home. Neither of us said anything and the tension was definitely back in full force. I simply sat back and watched as Kaya put on some music. The music shattering the quietness around us and I was grateful for it. I couldn't trust myself to talk. I actually didn't even know what to say and I don't think she did either.<p>

I sighed as we eventually pulled into my street and looked up at the flat, before turning to look at her. She parked the car but left the engine running, her face starring right ahead, not bothering to look at me.

A sadness fell on me and I had to look away from her. She still hadn't said anything, not even a goodbye. With another sigh, I undo my seatbelt, open the door and get out. As I shut the door, I look back up at the flat and think about my redhead inside it. I realise that that must be why Kaya is still inside the car. Not daring herself to get out incase she sees Kat. The pain hits me again.

Shaking my head, I go and get my bags out of the back of the car. As I set them down onto the floor, I half expect Kaya to quickly drive off, but she doesn't. Deciding then, that this is how I want things to end, walk over to the drivers side of the car. I smile though as on the way round to the other side, the door opens and she gets out. I guess she doesn't want us to leave without saying a word either.

As I get closer, I can see that she's stopping herself from crying, as am I in fact. But when I get to her, I pull her in for a tight hug. "I guess this is it, then." I say sadly into her ear, still holding her close in my arms.

"I guess it is." She replies.

"I'm going to miss you." I say, my voice sounding croaky from trying my best not to cry either.

"I'll miss you more, Loveless." She says.

I gently laugh and notice that she's smiling from her own little comment as I begrudgingly take a step back and look at her again.

She coughs slightly to help clear her throat and nods towards my flat. "Well you better get yourself in, out from the cold."

"Yeah," I say as look up at the flat. "Kaya?" I ask quickly as she's about to turn back to the car.

"Hm?" Is the only response I get, but her eyes look optimistic.

"I am going to miss you, you know? And I really wish that things weren't ending this way. I know you feel you have to go and to help clear your head. I do understand. But," I look at her and wonder how long it'll be until I see her again. How many years will pass. "Keep in touch, yeah? Even if it's a call every two months or an email or something. Just let me know that you're ok and that you are still actually alive somewhere."

She takes hold of my hand and smiles at me sadly. "I promise." She pulls me into another hug as she says, "You don't need to worry about me."

"I know." I say softly, but I know that I won't be able to help it. Of course I'm going to worry about her. For the first few months at least. Just until she finally settles down somewhere and somewhere that's safe.

With a deep breath, she lets me go. "Now go on, sod off will you? I've got a plane to catch early tomorrow morning and I've still got places to go and people to see." She says, smiling now.

I smile back, "Miss you."

"Miss you too."

Before anything else is said and before a tear can be dropped, I quickly turn and pick my bags up off of the floor and cross over the road. I turn back round and wave at her, a sad smile on my face appear as I see her wave back in turn. I knock on the door of my flat and wait for my girl to open the door.

Kaya gets back into the car and turns up the music whilst watching sadly from the window as Kat opens the front door and a huge smile appears on her face when she sees Lily stood on the doorstep in front of her. Kat wraps her arms around Lily, who in turn, instantly pulls Kat even closer into her for a warm embrace as they whisper to one another. Both lost in the moment of finally getting to see one another again.

_By tomorrow we'll be lost amongst the leaves,  
>In a wind that chills the skeletons of trees,<br>And when the moon, it shines, I will leave two lines,  
>Find my love, then find me.<em>

The tears that she's been holding back, finally breaks free and start to roll down Kaya's cheek as she watches the pair share a long, passionate kiss on the doorstep. All too soon though, as she gets a grip on the situation, she quickly wipes the tears away and starts to drive the car away from the flat. It speeds off down the road whilst leaving Lily taking hold of Kathryn's hand as they walk into the house, nether one of them looking back as they close the door behind them. Golden yellow and brown leaves are all that are left outside and are blowing around in the now empty street. The leaves being the very last sign that Kaya was there as they blow across the road from where her car had driven away and around the corner, out of view and to never to be seen again.

_Don't bring tomorrow,  
>'cause I already know,<br>I'll lose... you.  
>Don't bring tomorrow,<br>'cause I already know,  
>I'll lose... you<br>I'll lose... you._

* * *

><p><strong>So it took me slightly longer to post this than I had intended and for that, I'm sorry. I also know that that sorry isn't going to make any difference to you, especially as I've gone and got rid of Kaya. She just had to go, end of. *Shrugs* But whose to say that she won't come back with a bang later on when not expected...<strong>

**With another drama over with and another danger out of the equation, I suppose Lily and Kat can finally start playing happy families. That is what you want, right? I think that might be just a little bit boring though. Hm... Let's see what's around the corner that Kaya has just left by first, shall we?**

**Thank you to everyone whose reviewed. I love reading them and it reminds me that there _are_ still people out there reading this! So thank you. You make me happy.**

**'Landfill' and 'Tomorrow (demo version)' are 2 songs by a band called Daughter. They helped me write this chapter and the girl has such an incredible and powerful voice. Her song 'Smother' has being played an awful lot on the radio recently and that too is beautiful :)**

**Lastly (Because I'm talking way too much), there's going to be a brand new story on here called _'Pleasure Island'_ and you will ALL need to go and read it! You know that girl on here, _'mynameisnancy'? _Well me and her put our heads together and are writing something. It's going to be pretty damn good, even if I do say so myself... And it's going to get incredibly hot at times too. So, look out for it and enjoy... ;)**


	28. A day to remember

**Lily's POV**

Since Kaya left, I've never been happier. That sounds like a horrible thing to say about your friend I know, but honestly, things have been fantastic with me and Kathryn. Nothing crazy has happened and we're stronger than ever before. We haven't even had an argument, well only little rows over the smallest of things such as forgetting about something or how long one of us is taking to get ready as it's going to make us late for an interview or a meal, etc.

Nope, since Kaya has left everything has been perfect. It seems like everything has been going really well for her too.

I've not spoken to her since that day she dropped me off after the festival and drove away. A year has passed since then and we've had no contact at all, but it doesn't mean to say that I don't know what she's been up to. Mine and Kat's friends have been filling me in over the year and it seems that she has been having a really great time.

After she left, she stayed with a friend in the south of France, just like she said she would. Apparently the typical heavy drinking and crazy party side of Kaya came back to return with her. She spent a few weeks there, drinking and partying the days and nights away and it seemed that her friend was starting to worry about her but she soon left and went to Brazil.

From one party place to another I thought. What with all of their carnivals and party lifestyle over there, I almost started to worry myself when I had heard. I started to wonder if I had caused my friend to have some sort of breakdown and that this was going to be the beginning of some sort of meltdown. But I hadn't to worry.

She had gone to Brazil to see her family and spent some weeks catching up with her mum and enjoying her mums home made cooking once more. It was here that she decided that whilst she has the time and whilst she's still young, she would spend the time travelling the world. She had the money and had recently finished a film that she had a big main role in. I also thought it would be great for her when I heard the news and was especially happy when I found out that she was making a go of things between her and Elliot. I kept the thoughts to myself that I hoped she'd fall back in love with him and won't think about her crush on me ever again. She was trying and so for me, that was enough.

So around the world she travelled. From what I heard, she seemed to love Singapore, Thailand and La La Land the best. One of my friends showed me a picture of her that she had posted on Twitter and I realised just how happy I was for her. She looked well and she had moved on. She was enjoying life, her film had even premiered at the SunDance Festival and she had been listed as one to watch in the near future as a top, up and coming actress too.

I'm pleased that she has moved on and is getting on so well. I had worried at the start because of what had happened between the two of us, but it seems that she has managed to come through and was beginning to make a name for herself too.

I was also pleased because it meant that I had moved on too. I'm beyond happy with my relationship with my one true love, Kathryn. I'm madly in love with her and I'm not going to let anything spoil that. Either by myself or anything coming back from the past and haunting me.

As I'm sitting at the kitchen table drinking a hot cup of coffee, I'm suddenly thrown from my thoughts when the girl of my dreams appears and walks up to me, a smirk on her face.

"And what have been up to, Miss. Loveless?" She asks whilst placing a hand on my shoulder and settling herself in my lap, facing me.

I smile, "Nothing. Just thinking about the very gorgeous, Miss. Prescott."

She giggles as she wraps both of her arms around my neck. "Is that so?"

"Yep." I reply, looking into her beautiful brown eyes and melting at her beauty. She has such a perfect smile, I think to myself. Biting my lip, I smile my own smile at her. "What day is it tomorrow?"

I watch as her smile widens but her eyebrows shoot upwards, "Please tell me you are joking?"

I laugh slightly and shrug, wrapping my arms around her waist to hold her more tightly as I shrug my shoulders. "What?"

"You're unbelievable, you are Lily." She says but still smiling.

"So shoot me..." I tell her, jokingly.

A cute pout appears on her lips, her eyebrows scrunching together. "Hmph, no. You're too lovely and beautiful to shoot."

"Hmm, really?" I ask, inching closer to her sweet, adorable face. Our noses brushing against each others gently. Her smile widening as she bites her lip. "I think you're even more lovely and beautiful."

She closes the small gap and places a sweet tasting kiss on my lips before quickly pulling back. "You _do _know what the day is tomorrow... Don't you?" She asks, her expression somewhere between looking confused and looking slightly amused. "It's... Valentines Day..." She says slowly whilst carefully watching my face for some kind of answer.

I smile as I grab my coffee cup and take a sip, starring back in her eyes the whole time and replace the cup back on the table. Her brow burying deeper. "Ah, so it is..." I finally say.

Almost immediately, she hits me on the arm, "You liar! You did know!"

We giggle for a little while longer until we settle back down again. "So then, Ems. Have you booked _anything_ for tomorrow? Say a restaurant, or a hotel, or... Something?"

She sighs as she tucks a strand of blonde hair behind my ear and places both hands back on my shoulders. "You don't like surprises, Lily."

I stop smiling and look away. "No, I don't."

"So, I haven't booked us anything." She replies, looking slightly sad.

I rest my forehead against hers, looking into her slightly saddened eyes. "Baby?"

She looks up and smiles. "I was just planning on having a nice romantic night in together. I know you always say not to make a big fuss on you, you don't like surprises and you especially hate me spending a fortune on you. You like me to save my money for myself and that-"

I smile and cut her off, "Sweetheart, a romantic night in with you, the girl I love so much, is perfect. Really."

She smiles. "Honestly?"

"Of course it is, honey. Just you, me, no one to interrupt us and no freezing our tits off in the cold in our rush to get back home and shag one another."

"Oi!" She squeals and I receive yet another slap on the arm.

"What? It's true! Besides, Valentines Day is just yet another over commercialised event to make some extra money. Why show the one you love how much you do love them on this one day? Why is it more special than others? You can show each other how much you love one another every single day. You don't just need to buy flowers for stupid cupids day."

She bites her lip again as she smiles, listening to me. I know how she loves it when I ramble on about something. "I love you." She simply says when I've finished.

"I love you too." I reply as I lean closer and pull her into a kiss, our lips moving softly against one another's.

"Why don't I show you exactly how much I love you?" She says whilst standing up and taking my hand in hers, her voice slightly more husky than before.

I let her lead me towards our bedroom and as her hands wander all over me as she leads me there, I can't help but smile. Not just because of thoughts of what I know will happen to me once my sexy redhead has me naked, but also because she doesn't know that I've managed to completely fool her.

Of course I have something very special planned for her tomorrow. _I'm_ going to show _her _exactly how much I love her and I can't wait. It's going to be a day to remember and a day that is going to change our lives forever.

* * *

><p>The kitchen smells of freshly brewed coffee as I prepare the kitchen table. I hum a happy tune quietly to myself as the early morning sun shines through the window and I think how perfect today is going to be. I place the vase which is full of red roses and white carnations into the middle of the table and place the cups of coffee and glasses of fresh orange juice next to them. Next I place the croissants, rolls, fruits, butter, jam and other bits and pieces of breakfast onto the table. A buffet for my beautiful queen.<p>

I turn my iPod speaker on quietly so it doesn't wake up the sleeping beauty and pick the playlist that I spent hours making specially, last night. It's full of songs that remind me of my girl, songs that we both love and that are special to the both of us.

As the songs play quietly in the background, I busy myself with the finishing touches. Placing the freshly cooked, hot food onto the table and looking at everything, seeing how perfect it all is. Finally, I place a red sealed envelope on Kathryn's plate, along with a small, neatly wrapped box and smile. Today, is going to be perfect.

I look down myself and frown. I should probably look a bit more presentable and more stunning for my girlfriend, but decide not to bother. Apparently I turn her on slightly with nothing but a tee shirt and knickers on, so I'll stay like this.

I finish off making breakfast before I slightly gasp at a hand working its way around my waist. I smile as another one joins it and feel a pair for soft boobs press into my back, warm breath against my cheek as a soft kiss is placed on my neck.

"Mmm, good morning, gorgeous." A husky voice says in my ear.

I smile brighter, "Good morning, beautiful."

"Something looks good... And I don't mean the food."

I giggle as I turn the hob off and turn round in her arms, wrapping my arms around her waist as I lean down and place a tender kiss on her lips.

"What's that for?" She asks, looking into my eyes.

"Do I have to have a reason to kiss my beautiful girlfriend?" I ask.

"Hm, well what you put it like that, kiss away..."

"I plan to do so." I say before pulling her in to a deep yet loving kiss, her tongue seeking out to meet mine. The taste of mint toothpaste tingling in my mouth and on my lips. After a few short minutes, I pull her away and lead her to one of the chairs. "Now why don't you take a seat and I'll serve breakfast."

"Domestic too, I see." She says as she sits down. "I just might have to keep you."

I laugh. "I certainly hope so. I've grown very fond of you."

As I settle down at the table opposite her, I watch as her eyes fall onto the red envelope and small box on her plate and she smiles. "Oh, and what's this I wonder..."

"Open it." I say, smiling as I take a sip of my coffee.

She does and smiles as she reads the words on the card. "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome, handsome." I say as I start busying myself by buttering the toast with jam, getting nervous at what's coming next.

I slyly look up at her as I start buttering her toast for her, anything to keep me busy for a little bit longer. She picks up the small box and frowns slightly, her eyes meet mine and she smiles as I quickly look away. Probably sensing that I'm nervous, she gets up and walks round to me, settling in my lap.

"I thought you didn't want to make a fuss?" She asks, eyeing the small box suspiciously.

I pretend to look like I'm thinking as I wrap my arms around her waist. "Hmm, well... You _are _my gorgeous girlfriend and today _is _Valentines Day. I also know that no matter what I say, you would _still _brought me something too... So, why shouldn't I buy you a little something to show you how much I love you?"

She smiles as she bites her lip. "But you said yesterday that-"

"Who cares what I said yesterday?" I say before placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you and that's that."

"I love you too, Lily." She says before looking back down at the small box in her hands. After another minute of inspecting the box she looks back up at me nervously, not sure what to say or do.

"This is usually the time where you open it..." I say, hinting at her to hurry up.

With shaking fingers she starts to open it and small tears start to appear in her eyes. "It's beautiful."

I nod at her, "Just as beautiful as you."

"How did you..." She says, looking up at me again as I take the small box from her hands and take out the silver bracelet, the diamonds twinkling in the morning sun.

"I've been saving up for it." I say as I place it on her slim wrist. "And you're worth every penny."

"But it would have cost you a fortune." She says, biting her lip.

"Like I said, you're worth every penny." I tell her again before pulling her in for a kiss. "There is also something else..." She looks at me frowning and I look away, even more nervous then before.

"Lily, you don't need to spend all your money on me. You know that."

I look back up at her and wipe a strand of hair behind her ear, "I love you. I feel that I don't show you just how much, so... I thought I'd treat you today. Show you exactly how much you mean to me. Just at least, let me?"

A smile starts to grow on her lips, "Baby, I know you love you me."

I start playing at the hem of her t-shirt and look back up at her. "Then you won't mind if I take you out for a meal tonight then, one of the top restaurants in the city.. I've brought you a lovely little black dress that I know you'll love. Matching shoes and bag. The bracelet and you wearing it just tops it off. And-"

Before I could say anymore, my mouth suddenly collides with hers. Her soft lips moving against mine before I feel the warmth of her tongue run along the bottom of my lip, seconds before it enters my mouth. Her hands wrapping themselves around my neck to pull me into her even more.

The kiss isn't hard or full of hunger. It's soft, gentle and full of complete love. Love for one another.

After a few moments of losing ourselves in the kiss, she pulls back and rests her forehead against mine, both of us slightly breathless.

"You really shouldn't have." She says.

"No, I really should have." I reply.

She rubs her nose against mine before looking at me, her face seems to look a little upset now though. "I feel I've got you shit now. A card, a small something and then our romantic night in. A lovely meal, good food, your favourite drink and film..."

I stroke her cheek and place a tender kiss on her lips. "Just being with you is all I want. What we get or what we do together doesn't matter. It's the fact that I get to call you my girlfriend and we love one another... That's enough for me. I wouldn't want anything else."

She smiles, biting her lip. "Well... There might be one present you might like..."

I lean back into my chair and pull her towards me even more, a grin appearing on my face as my hands start to travel up her smooth back underneath her t-shirt. "Oh really? And what might that be?"

"Let's just say... It's for your eyes only, lover..." She says with a smirk, before kissing up my neck and towards my ear. "Some _very_ sexy red and black, lacy lingerie..." She whispers. "_Very_ see through... And _very_ easy to take off with your expert hands that I love so much..."

My heart starts to beat faster as a fire starts to burn in between my legs, my throat getting dry as she licks along my jaw line and stops inches from my mouth. "How about I show _you _exactly how much I love you?" She asks with a husky voice.

I start to moan as she starts to move her hands up under my tee and towards my boobs, her hand massaging them. As I arch back she manages to take off my tee completely, leaving me in nothing but my knickers. She stands up and takes off her own t-shirt, leaving her in just her thong.

My eyes take in the absolutely stunning sight of Kathryn in front of me and a hand reaches down to mine, taking hold of me and leading me towards our bedroom. A few stolen kisses and wandering hands along the way.

Once we get to the bedroom, she pushes me down onto the bed and moves my legs apart before crawling her way up my body. I moan slightly at the feel of her warm skin touching mine. She then stops above my chest and runs her tongue up my neck slowly and then back down. I feel an intense tingle between my legs as I let out a heavy breath.

"You like that?" She asks and I simply nod my head, my eyes full of desire and want as I bite my lip.

She starts to kiss lower down my neck and chest, "I love how your body curves." She says whilst leaving little licks and kisses on my warm skin.

"I'm sure you do." Is all I manage to say, my voice sounding a little shaky as I'm getting more and more turned on by her and her touch.

She doesn't say anything else but continues to kiss me, this time getting lower in between my breasts. Leaving soft and supple kisses on each boob. I watch as she then starts to play with each erect nipple and I run my fingers through her hair, closing my eyes in pleasure.

She sits up and reaches over me to the bedside table. A small smile plays along my lips as I see what she had secretly put there earlier on. She takes the can of whipped cream and begins to shake it up before squeezing the cream onto me so it makes sloppy trails all over my body.

I reach up and squeeze her boobs as she leans down to kiss my lips. I pinch her nipples and nibble on her bottom lip as she licks across mine.

Kat drops the can to the side of me and leans back down to my chest, licking up every little bit of cream at the top, around my hard nipples, the sides of my torso and down my abs. The feel of her tongue and the sight of her licking the cream off of my naked body turning me on even more and sending tingles all through me.

She keeps getting lower until she meets my bellybutton and my stomach automatically caves in. Right then, she notices that I was sensitive to her touch and begins to trace circles around it, causing me to tremble with every stroke she made. As she kisses me lower, she pulls my knickers down and adds more whipped cream the further she goes.

Eventually my knickers are fully removed as she drags them down my legs and past my feet. While my legs are closed after she eased of my lacy black knickers, she runs her hands up and down my legs with a smile on her face and biting her lip, eager to have me.

She gently separates my legs and brings her face down, licking her lips in the sexiest way I have ever seen, staring into my eyes. I lean my head back and close my eyes as I feel her fingers separating my pussy lips and I hear her moan.

"You're so beautiful, Lily May." She says before I feel her give me one clean lick, from my pussy hole with a wide tongue and then the tip flicking my clit. I grab the sheets and let out a moan. "Oh, you like that don't you?"

Before I could answer, she did it again, but then she used her finger to play with my clit. My hips buck a little at the touch of her on me.

"Oh, you're so wet." She says whilst playing with my wetness with her other continues to put much more pressure on my clit and I start to moan louder.

Her finger stopped fucking me and she smiles as she comes back up to my face and kisses me on the lips, reaching back to the table again, but this time, taking a pair of handcuffs. I watch as she waves them in front of me and then starts to latch one of them onto my wrist.

I continue to watch her as she locks me to the bed frame, her red hair falling down around my face as she kisses me the moment both of my hands are cuffed. Kat then starts to crawl back down to my wet cunt, trailing her hands all across my body, caressing my breasts and squeezing my bum.

Her tongue flicks over my clit and body jerks with every lick and touch. I arch my back and my hips start to grind against her mouth uncontrollably as my moans start growing with every stroke whilst she was moving her tongue faster and faster.

I pull on the cuffs, wishing that I had my hands to help tame myself, or to lose my hands in her hair and push her beautiful face even further into me, but there was nothing I could do. I could feel my orgasm growing and getting closer, very close and she knew it too. Kathryn replaces her tongue with her finger and starts to rub my pussy with her hand. Then she comes up to my face again, but this time teasing me with her tongue on my mouth. She reaches down like she's going to kiss me, but as I try to lean upwards towards her lips, she pulls away and smiles. Twice more she does this and my moans grow louder. Moans of slight frustration because I want her tongue in my mouth, but also moans because of her hand rubbing against my throbbing. A fire growing deep inside of me.

She reaches again but this time, she kisses my chin and at the same time, I feel her sliding a finger inside of me. I let a scream almost straight away, it feels so fucking good. She applies more pressure against my clit, rubbing harder and faster now as she starts to fuck my pussy with two fingers inside of me. I start moaning even louder as I start to rock my hips to the rhythm of her fingers, wanting more of her.

"Don't stop... Don't stop..." I moan out, breathlessly.

She looks at me and smiles, "Don't worry baby, I won't..." She says before fingering me harder and faster. The orgasm building up even more as she says, "Are you ready to cum for me?" I nod my head and grab onto the headboard tighter, only moans escaping from my mouth along with my heavy breathing. "No, I want to hear it."

With the fire burning between my legs getting hotter and my orgasm building throughout my pussy and up through my legs, I can't help but yell out. "Yes!"

"Again..."

"Yes!" I scream. It's almost like I then got angry as she tells me to say it once more, but this time I scream even louder as I can't quite take it anymore. "Ah, fuck!" I scream.

That seems to get her really excited as she starts to pump her fingers in and out of me even more, "Oh, you're such a naughty girl! I'm not going to stop until you cum hard for me."

I begin to ride her fingers and my moans turn into screams, before I know it, the feeling gets so fucking intense that I start to cum hard. Harder than I have ever came in my life. My back arches upwards so high and I stutter my screams, my vision becomes slightly blurred and eyes roll back into my head. "Oh Gods" and a lot of "Fuck" words escape my mouth, my legs shaking and my body trembling, Kat looking sexy as fuck on top of me as she fucks me harder.

Eventually I lay back against the bed, breathing heavy as I try to recover. I gulp loudly and lick my bottom lip whilst looking down towards Kathryn. I can still feel my pussy pulsating around her fingers and I watch as she pulls them out of me and brings them up towards my lips. I reach out and take her fingers into my mouth, licking and sucking on her fingers. I smile as I see her eyes flutter shut and arch her back, enjoying the feeling of my tongue on her fingers.

She opens her eyes and looks down at me, a beautiful smile on her gorgeous face. "Happy Valentines Day, honey."

I lean upwards and she places a warm and loving kiss on my lips before leaving a trail of kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I smile as she rests on top of me, feeling her heart beating out of her chest along with mine.

After a few minutes of getting my breath back, I kiss the top of her head. "Kathryn, baby?"

"Yeah?" She says before placing a kiss on my skin.

"Fancy taking these handcuffs off of me so I can get my filthy hands on you?"

* * *

><p>After spending the day making love to one another and exchanging gifts, we eventually managed to keep our hands off of each other long enough to get ready for our romantic meal. We were almost late for the time I had booked because Kathryn <em>always<em> looks very sexy when she's walks out of the shower, dripping wet and in nothing but a small towel. She also had to tease me by wearing the sexy lingerie that she had brought. Both times had obviously led to us being on the bed and naked once more. Yet another hot and steamy shower later and another hour of trying to get ready and we were out and onto the cold streets of London.

I had booked us a table next to a window and we had an amazing view of the sun setting over the River Thames. The food and drink was amazing, the talk was light and lovely... And the footsie under the table was well, rather good too.

As it was getting darker, we finished off our drinks to leave. I paid then met Kathryn at the door, taking her hand in mine as we walked away from the restaurant.

"That was lovely, thank you baby." She says as she reaches up to place a soft kiss on my cheek.

"You're very welcome, sweetheart." I say, smiling.

I smile even brighter when she turns to walk down a street, thinking we'll be walking home. Instead I pull her back, hand still in mine, and continue walking in the opposite direction of home.

"Er..." She looks over her shoulder towards where we should be walking if we were walking home then back at me. A cute little frown on her face. "Isn't home back that way?"

I look over my shoulder before turning back to her, simply shrugging my shoulders and nodding my head. "Yeah." Is all I say, a grin slowly appearing.

She eyes me carefully, but carries on walking with me anyway. Another thing I love about her, I think to myself. She trusts me.

Without another word, we walk hand in hand towards Trafalgar Square. I mentally make a list of all the other things that I love about my girl in my head, my smile getting bigger and bigger. There really is nothing that I would change about her. I love absolutely everything there is. From her incredibly sexy body and good looks, to her personality and husky voice. I love her laugh and how she wrinkles her nose. I love all of her facial expressions and how even when she tries to act angry, she still manages to look cute. I love the fact that she is my girl and loves me, even for all of my flaws and mistakes. From when I'm a grumpy bitch to being embarrassed about something. She loves me and I love her, and tonight I'm going to show her exactly how much I love her.

"What are you smiling at?" She asks. "What are you up to?"

"Just thinking about you." Is all I say as we walk to the centre of Trafalgar Square. I turn to face her and wrap my hands around her waist, her arms reaching up and instantly wrapping them around my neck.

"All good things I hope." She replies, looking into my eyes with a smile on her beautiful face.

"Absolutely..." I smile nervously when it hits me what it is I'm going to do but then I think fuck it. This is what I want and what I think she wants too. She needs to hear everything first. "I was just thinking about all of things that I love about you. From the big things, right down to the littlest of things."

"I was also thinking..." I stop as I bite my lip nervously, wondering if I am doing the right thing of dragging the past back up but when she gently strokes my cheek and I see the beautiful brown eyes that I love so much starring back in mine, I know it'll be the right thing to do. Sighing, I take a deep breath to steady myself, then I start.

"I was also thinking back to Berlin. If we hadn't have gone there then it may not have set off a roller coaster of events between the two of us. But you know what? I'm glad it did."

Kathryn frowns as she listens to me and drops her hands down onto my waist. I start to wonder if what I'm doing is right, but it's too late. I have to finish off what I've started.

"I'm glad that everything that happened that day in Berlin happened because it made us both realise something. That there _was_ something there between us. It wasn't until we got back and a string of events happened, that we realised how much we really did feel for each other. I'm sorry for all the bad shit that I caused, sorry for making you feel like you did."

She goes to open her mouth to speak, but I continue talking. Stopping her from saying anything else.

"I'm sorry for all of the other terrible and tragic events too. I caused them when really there wasn't any need for it. I hit the rock bottom of my life and crashed my car when I thought that I had lost you for good. And the time when you almost died and was in hospital from the stunt accident with the moped..." I stop and take a deep breath, feeling the tears prickling my eyes, threatening to fall. "Basically what I'm trying to say is that I think Berlin will stick with me for ever because it was then that I realised just how much I love you. I think it does for you too and for the same reason."

A small smile twitches on her lips and my heart beats a little faster, knowing that I'm right. She hadn't had known me how much she had loved me until that day when we shared our first proper kiss next to the fountain.

"What I'm also trying to say is that I don't think I would ever be able to cope without you because I love you so much. I love you and I want to make you as happy as possible and I always want to see that cute little smile of yours that I love so much, knowing that I'm the reason behind it."

As if on cue, she smiles it and her eyes twinkle in the lights around us. A small tear starts to fall from my eye and I can't help it. She makes me so fucking happy.

"I want..." I take another deep breath to steady my nerves. "I know we're very happy now but I want us to start again." Biting my lip I look to the side of me, she follows my gaze and her eyes widen as she notices that we're stood next to a fountain. I look back at her, her own tears starting to fall. "I want us to start again with all the bad things that had happened to be buried in the past."

I look at her as I reach into my pocket, the lights twinkling in her eyes as she keeps her hands wrapped around my waist. The sound of the water tinkling down in the fountain being the only sound in my ears.

"I want us to start again... With you being my fiancee..." I say, my voice shaky.

Her eyes widen even more in shock as I start to get down on one knee in front of her. My heart beating faster than it ever has in my whole entire life as my shaking hand pulls out a small box from my coat pocket.

I look up into her teary eyes as I open the box to reveal a silver ring. A perfect heart shaped diamond in the middle of it.

"Miss. Kathryn, love of my life, girl of my dreams, Prescott... Will you marry me?"

She stands before me, tears falling down her face now and her hands covering her shocked, open mouth. I giggle nervously at the sight of her. Still fucking gorgeous I think to myself.

"I... I... I don't know what to say..." She stutters as she she looks at the ring then back at me.

I giggle, "A simple yes would do!"

More tears fall from the both of us as she breaks into the brightest smile I have ever seen. "Yes!" She says. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

My heart stops for a second before it sinks in, thinking I had heard her wrong, but no, she has definitely agreed to be my future wife!

I jump up to join her, "Are you sure? I mean, are you really 100 per cent, perfectly sure that you want to marry me?" I ask, still a little shocked myself.

"YES!" She shouts before wrapping her arms around me tightly. "Of course I want to marry you, Lily." She says in my ear before pulling back to look at me. "I love you."

Finally, relief washes over me but my head and heart is singing, my own tears are falling with complete happiness and I have a massive smile on my face. "I love you too."

She wraps her hands around the back of my neck again as I wrap mine around her waist, pulling one another in for a long and passionate kiss. The kiss is full of love for one another, warm mouths and wet tongues, but complete and utter love.

After 5 minutes of kissing one another and another 200 "I love you's" We finally step back as I take the ring out of the box. We rest our foreheads against each other as I show her that I had it engraved with, 'L+K, Always + Forever xx' And our anniversary date on it too.

I slide it on her finger and smiles as it fits perfectly. I kiss it on her finger before placing a soft kiss on her lips. She holds it up and the diamond shines brilliantly with all of the lights around us.

A few more kisses and a few photos of us by the fountain with the ring on show later, and we're walking hand in hand back home.

"Have you not noticed something yet?" I ask her happily as she swings our hands together while still admiring her beautiful engagement ring. "About the ring?" Frowning, she shakes her head and looks up at me. I smile, "It matches your bracelet." I reveal.

Her eyes widen when she looks at the two together. Both real silver, both shining brightly in the lights as the heart shaped diamonds twinkle.

"Ohhh, Lily!" She squeals before grabbing hold of me and pulling me into another kiss. "I love them." She says after then looks into my eyes, hers glittering brown. "I love _you_."

* * *

><p>After a lot of kisses, cuddles and some very rather wandering hands, we finally got home. We had only managed to open a nice bottle of bubbly and raised a toast to ourselves before we soon tore one another's dresses off in excitement and ran, laughing to our bedroom.<p>

I grabbed hold of Kat's hands and moved them above her head, pinning her down on the bed as I start to explore my girls incredibly hot body with nothing but my tongue and nipping teeth. She moans and arches her back as I take one hard and erect nipple into my mouth. Her boobs are smaller than mine but I love them so much. A perfect handful, and definitely a perfect mouthful. A watering mouthful.

I replace my mouth with my hands and gently knead and massage her boobs as I start to move lower down her body. God, I love going down on this girl. I love places little bites, licks and soft open mouthed kisses all over her, from across her sensitive skin, along her perfect tummy and down over her thighs. I smile and look up at her when I hear her moan as I place one, slow lick up along the inside of her thigh.

She arches back again and moans slightly louder as I finally take her in my mouth. I dart my tongue along the tender flesh of my girl. A soft but firm stroke upwards before I pull away.

"Please, Lily..." She moans, watching my every move. How could I possibly deny this girl anything? My finacee... All mine and to do absolutely anything I please to do with.

I smile at her and bite my lip as her eyes watch my fingers slip down her wet pussy, gently spreading her lips open before I bury my face in between her thighs. She moans louder as she feels my tongue lick her her clit and I gently start to suck on it. I wanted to spend time teasing her, to make slow but incredible love to her. But we'll have plenty of time to do that tonight. I just want to make the girl of dreams happy and right now, especially as I start to feel my own wetness between my legs building even more. So, as I lick and suck on her erect clit, I insert two fingers deep into her. Her hips rise and start moving against my mouth and fingers.

Curling my fingers upwards, I start to thrust three fingers in and out of her, rubbing against that sweet little spot and sucking on her clit, teasing it with my tongue. In and out my fingers go whilst making circles around her swollen and throbbing clit, changing now and again to flicks.

Before long, her hips are bucking, her hands are in my hair pushing me even further into her and moaning my name out loud. My tongue and fingers soon have her trembling as she starts to cum in my mouth, her orgasm leaving her gasping for breath.

As the waves of pleasure pass over her body, I slowly kiss my way back up her, leaving a tender kiss on her lips. I let her relax a bit more as I reach over to the bedside table and open the drawer, a wicked grin on my face as I turn back round to face her.

She raises an eyebrow up at me when she sees the vibrator in my hand. I giggle at her, "Oh that? That was just a warm up..." I say before climbing back on top of her.

* * *

><p>2 very sex filled days passed us and we finally told everyone about our good news. We were glad that everyone was happy for us and we decided to throw an engagement party at our place the following weekend. We didn't want anything big and fancy, especially knowing what the paparazzi and magazines are like, so we decided on a small family and close friends party.<p>

Our families and friends came... And so did Kathryn. What? We sneaked off to the bathroom. I couldn't help myself, she's gorgeous and she's all mine!

Now we're stood in the middle of the party, hands around one another as we dance a slow song together. I've never been happier in my life and it's all thanks this absolutely stunning and incredible girl. I wouldn't change anything for the world.

With a few kisses and light laughs, the song comes towards the end as Lisa who played Panda in Skins comes up to us, a huge smile on her face.

"Oi Lisa, it's supposed to be me and Kat whose meant to look like the happiest people here." I joke.

"Aw, I'm so happy for you two!" She says for the eleventh time tonight before hugging us both.

"Thank you, Lisa." Kathryn says.

"There's also one other thing." She says.

"What's that?" I ask whilst placing a kiss on top of Kat's head while pulling her closer to me, her arms snaking around my waist.

Lisa smiles, "Well I know you would have both have told everyone here your happy news otherwise they wouldn't be here, obviously. Well..."

"What is it, Lisa?" Kathryn asks, frowning.

She smiles back, "Well there was one person that I thought you might have forgotten to tell about because she hasn't been here for so long."

The penny drops and my stomach starts to churn. "Oh, it's okay, we didn't forget." Kat starts to explain. "I was going to phone Kaya the other night but Lily here told me that she wanted to tell her that it would have been better in the morning because of the time zone difference."

I bite my lip and sigh slightly, happy that Kathryn explained and that it seems like Lisa was happy with the answer. I still hadn't phoned Kaya, and wasn't planning to. Not just yet anyway. I don't want her to fuck everything up for me just yet. Not when me and kathryn are so happy.

"That makes sense," She says, "But I didn't know that at the time, so I called her to let her know."

My stomach drops to the floor and my heart stops with it. "You what?" I manage to stutter out.

"But she didn't answer her phone." She says soon after.

I manage to regain my breathing and clear my throat. I notice my drink near me and grab it, knocking it almost back as the sudden mix of emotions wash over me. Happiness, relief, panic, sickness and then relief again. I almost laugh at my own stupidness but instead I kiss the top of Kat's head again as cuddles into me.

"I hope she's okay, she's been away for such a long time now." Kat says and I just nod my head. "I wonder what new things she's been up to."

"Well, you can ask her yourself." Lisa says and we frown at her. "She texted me back after hearing my voicemail about you two getting engaged, and guess what? She said she'll be here to congratulate you both herself."

"What?" I say, panic raising all over again.

"She's here!" She says, happily.

For the final time, my heart stops as my eyes move behind Lisa and I see her. Standing as bold as brass and with a tan to match, is Kaya. She raises an eyebrow and starts to walk over towards us, an evil looking smirk on her face...

* * *

><p><strong>Either you're hating Kaya for turning up right now, or you're hating me. Either way, I like it! So please leave a little review and let me know what you think!<strong>

**Sorry it's been awhile, but I'm sure the smut and the LilyKat happiness made up for it!**

**One other thing... Check out a Naomily story on here called '_Pleasure Island_' and leave a review for me please? It's written by me AND _MynameisNancy_. She's beautiful, the story is beautifully written too and you'll love it. Trust me.**


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